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Original poster

Help needed! Just found out about tax charge on child benefit.

166 replies

Banoffeepie29 · 05/09/2026 12:29

Hope this is OK to post. I've been such an idiot! I had some good advice on here recently about taking control more of my finances in an unequal marriage. I created a HMRC account on the app and realised I was only claiming child benefit for 2 children when I have 3! As I've recently learnt it's important for your pension credits to claim, I started a new claim for 3rd child but then read about the high income tax charge! I'm not 100% hiw much he earns, but I'm pretty sure my H earns atleast 60k. Now I am worried I will get in trouble for claiming. I'm not sure when he passed the 60k threshold, or exactly how much he is on.

Does anybody know if I will have to pay the tax charge back now? Does it get back dated? Or will it be H who has to pay it, he will be fuming if that's the case! I feel so stupid because I had no idea about this rule I'm rubbish at things like this anyway. I've got to the part of the claim where I need his NI number but now I'm worried about telling him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 06/09/2026 19:02

crazymommaclub · 06/09/2026 18:53

When you go to claim it, you can tick to claim it but not be paid. That way you get no NI gap but don’t have to faff around doing a tax return, that’s what we do

That’s not good advice for the OP when she’s in a financially abusive relationship

Superscientist · 06/09/2026 19:57

Orangeyoucan · 05/09/2026 22:15

I put your OP into Gemini Pro OP, and this is the response I got:

Take a breath—you are not an idiot, you will not get in trouble, and this is completely fixable. Thousands of parents get caught out by this every year because HMRC makes the system confusing.

1. Who Pays the High Income Child Benefit Charge (HICBC)? The tax charge is always the legal responsibility of the higher earner, regardless of who makes the claim or receives the cash.
Sidekick Accounting

  • If your husband earns over the threshold, he is the person legally liable to pay the tax back to HMRC, not you.
  • However, if he is kept in the dark and suddenly hit with a tax bill, he will naturally be upset—so this is something that needs resolving openly.
2. Understanding the Thresholds Check when his earnings rose, because the rules changed significantly:
  • From 6 April 2024 onwards: The threshold started at £60,000 (raised from £50,000). The benefit is tapered between £60,000 and £80,000 (1% charge for every £200 earned over £60k). If he earns £65,000, you keep 75% of the money. The benefit is only wiped out completely once his income reaches £80,000.
  • Low Incomes Tax Reform Group+ 3
  • Pre-April 2024: The threshold was £50,000, with full clawback at £60,000.
  • Commons Library - UK Parliament
  • "Adjusted Net Income" matters: It is based on his taxable income after pension contributions and Gift Aid. If he earns £65k but pays £6k into a workplace pension, his adjusted net income is £59k, meaning zero tax charge.
  • Turn2us
3. Does HMRC Backdate It?
  • Child Benefit itself: When you submit a claim, HMRC will only backdate payments by a maximum of 3 months.
  • The Tax Charge: If you have already been receiving Child Benefit for your first two children while he was earning over the threshold in previous tax years, HMRC can technically ask him to pay the historical charge. However, he may have already been dealing with this on his Self Assessment or PAYE without discussing it, or his pension contributions may have kept him under the radar.
4. How to Claim Without Getting the Cash (Protecting Your Pension) You were 100% right that claiming protects your State Pension. Each year you claim for a child under 12, you receive National Insurance Class 3 credits. If you do not want to deal with repayments or financial arguments:
  • On the Child Benefit form (online or paper), there is a specific question asking: "Do you want to receive Child Benefit payments?"
  • You can tick "No".
  • Selecting "No" means no money is paid out, which means zero tax charge for your husband, but you still get the National Insurance pension credits awarded to your name.
How to Talk to Him Framing this conversation around retirement security makes it much easier: "I was reviewing my National Insurance record for my state pension and realized that because our third child wasn't registered on the Child Benefit system, I've been missing out on stay-at-home pension credits. To register them, HMRC asks for both parents' National Insurance numbers. We can either choose to receive the payments and adjust through your tax code/pension, or simply opt out of the cash payments so there is no tax impact on you at all while keeping my pension intact." If he earns between £60k and £80k, you are financially better off taking the payments even after the charge. But if keeping the peace in an unequal marriage is the priority right now, opting out of the payments lets you protect your future pension without risking an unexpected tax bill.
Show quote history

Yet if you explicitly ask it if a person in a financially abusive relationship should claim child benefit if their husband earns between £60-70k. It says to definitely claim it and make sure it's in an account the husband can't access. As "* Net Financial Gain:* At an income of £60k–£70k, the family is still better off receiving the cash than opting out. Even if he has to pay back 50% of it at £70k, she gets 100% of the money into her bank account"

There is so much nuance to life and this is something that AI can get and at other times can't get. AI definitely has its uses but I would have caution over using it for advice in complicated and nuanced circumstances. It often is incorrect about matters. I do use it at times and it is amazing how much you can get it to give completely different advice depending on small caveats that you include or highlight. Completely different but I tried to use it recently to see if my daughters slow weight gain had tipped into "restricted growth" yet. The first response was nope absolutely fine. I went through the details and it hadn't correctly determine any of her weight/height percentiles. When I explicitly gave it her percentiles it said "yes consult your paediatrician". We are under medical supervision already so it didn't make any difference to my actions but if we weren't and I was a concern mother I would have been incorrectly told not to fret. ,

Original poster
Banoffeepie29 · 06/09/2026 21:31

crazymommaclub · 06/09/2026 18:53

When you go to claim it, you can tick to claim it but not be paid. That way you get no NI gap but don’t have to faff around doing a tax return, that’s what we do

It's difficult because the money actually makes a really big difference, especially soon when I will be going on maternity leave. H doesn't share finances with me either so I think that money is important for the kids. Hopefully, it won't be too much of a bother for him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Banoffeepie29 · 06/09/2026 21:33

ConBatulations · 06/09/2026 18:54

Still claim for the other children. If he is over £80k then he can pay it back. If he is closer to £60k then there will be little to pay back if any and overall you will be better off. The children will get their national insurance numbers when they are 16 and your state pension credits are paid until the youngest is 12 if your earnings are too low. You need to earn £129 per week to be credited from earnings.

Thank you. I will see what H says regarding this, thank you. I do realise it's important to claim. I just hope he doesn't have to pay too much back. I haven't shown him what HMRC says yet as I have been at work.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 06/09/2026 21:42

Banoffeepie29 · 06/09/2026 21:33

Thank you. I will see what H says regarding this, thank you. I do realise it's important to claim. I just hope he doesn't have to pay too much back. I haven't shown him what HMRC says yet as I have been at work.

Show quote history

Heaven forbid your husband has to pay back any money from his £60k a year that he doesn’t share with you or his family.

You earn £6/7/k a year and have to ask him for money for swimming lessons!

Tiptopflipflop · 06/09/2026 21:46

It's counter productive not to claim for the third child as you'd be better off overall to claim, even if he has to repay a bit of it.

WorthyMintKoala · 07/09/2026 13:38

Banoffeepie29 · 06/09/2026 18:23

I mentioned it to H today. I asked him at first if he does tax returns, he said no. Then I said it might be worth doing one because he may have a high income tax charge because of my child benefit. He did swear and was angry (although not at me really, more at the system). However, he said his salary is basic rate £58k but when he has enhancements (he works weekend and nights also) it bumps it up above 60k (that's why I thought he was on 60k). I told him I don't want him to get caught out so it's worth doing one. He did seem calm after, just annoyed about having to pay it. I then had to go out, so will have to show him properly again tommorow. Hopefully, he will be OK and be just under the threshold, I'm just really hoping that he doesn't have to pay a lot back. Think I will avoid claiming for other children at present until I know more about what he has to pay.

As for posters telling me that our finances aren't normal, there are issues around this and other things that I have previously posted on mumsnet about. Thank you for all the practical advice everybody has given me.

I wouldn’t put off claiming for the other children. Anything that needs to be paid back for this tax year isn’t due yet as we haven’t finished it yet. He could also have time to adjust his pension payments to bring his annual income under £60k before the end of the tax year.

Original poster
Banoffeepie29 · 07/09/2026 16:27

sittingonabeach · 06/09/2026 10:09

Do you have to pay for everything child related? Is there a reason you are having another child?

Show him the rules for child benefit if he won’t tell you directly what he earns

I pay for things like clothes, swimming, etc. For the children. And also if i take them out anywhere without my husband being there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Banoffeepie29 · 07/09/2026 16:41

Caterina99 · 06/09/2026 10:57

Your DH is on 60k and you earn about £600 a month and he makes you transfer him the money for swimming lessons?!

How do you pay for food shops, kids clothes etc? Everything for the family should be joint and you have full access to it.

If he knows you claim the CB (which you’ve said he does) then it’s his responsibility to check he doesn’t have to repay any of it

However sounds like you have bigger problems than the CB charge

We share the food shops to be fair. I usually manage to afford it and kids clothes etc but I have no money for savings or much for myself. Unfortunately, I was out of work for a couple of months due to pregnancy illness so had no wage for two months and I'm still not able to work many hours. I have a credit card which I have been using even though I really didn't want too because i now have debt, but kids schools shoes, coats etc. days out during the holidays, and it all adds up. Even CB for two doesn't go that far.

OP posts:
Original poster
Banoffeepie29 · 07/09/2026 16:42

WorthyMintKoala · 07/09/2026 13:38

I wouldn’t put off claiming for the other children. Anything that needs to be paid back for this tax year isn’t due yet as we haven’t finished it yet. He could also have time to adjust his pension payments to bring his annual income under £60k before the end of the tax year.

Show quote history

OK thanks, I still can't get any further because I need to know his net income and he doesn't know yet. Hopefully he can find out.

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 07/09/2026 16:52

Banoffeepie29 · 07/09/2026 16:41

We share the food shops to be fair. I usually manage to afford it and kids clothes etc but I have no money for savings or much for myself. Unfortunately, I was out of work for a couple of months due to pregnancy illness so had no wage for two months and I'm still not able to work many hours. I have a credit card which I have been using even though I really didn't want too because i now have debt, but kids schools shoes, coats etc. days out during the holidays, and it all adds up. Even CB for two doesn't go that far.

Show quote history

You shouldn’t be solely responsible for the children’s expenses.

child benefit is a contribution, not a cover all.

Caterina99 · 07/09/2026 16:53

Banoffeepie29 · 07/09/2026 16:41

We share the food shops to be fair. I usually manage to afford it and kids clothes etc but I have no money for savings or much for myself. Unfortunately, I was out of work for a couple of months due to pregnancy illness so had no wage for two months and I'm still not able to work many hours. I have a credit card which I have been using even though I really didn't want too because i now have debt, but kids schools shoes, coats etc. days out during the holidays, and it all adds up. Even CB for two doesn't go that far.

Show quote history

OP I’m sorry but this is financial abuse. Your family unit can afford these costs, your DH is just not sharing with you. So he’s sitting with loads of savings and can buy whatever he wants and you are running up credit card debt to buy your kids shoes?!

Claim all the child benefit you can. Even if your DH has to pay back 100% of it (unlikely - probably it’s a very minimal amount once his adjusted net income is calculated as this includes pension contributions ) then so he should, because that is money that should be spent exactly as you are doing - on your joint children!

I appreciate you are stressed at the thought of him having to pay back money and being angry about it, but this situation is entirely his own making. Please consider your future with this man!

LydiaJayne · 07/09/2026 21:22

Banoffeepie29 · 07/09/2026 16:41

We share the food shops to be fair. I usually manage to afford it and kids clothes etc but I have no money for savings or much for myself. Unfortunately, I was out of work for a couple of months due to pregnancy illness so had no wage for two months and I'm still not able to work many hours. I have a credit card which I have been using even though I really didn't want too because i now have debt, but kids schools shoes, coats etc. days out during the holidays, and it all adds up. Even CB for two doesn't go that far.

Show quote history

So what does he pay for?

Original poster
Banoffeepie29 · 07/09/2026 21:44

@LydiaJayne Almost everything, mortgage and bills. He does work very hard for us I'm not denying that, which is why I was worried about the tax charge.

OP posts:
LIZS · 07/09/2026 22:32

Banoffeepie29 · 07/09/2026 16:42

OK thanks, I still can't get any further because I need to know his net income and he doesn't know yet. Hopefully he can find out.

Show quote history

He can find out what? He should have a p60 for 2025-26 (and previous years)already stating his earnings and pension deductions, so any earnings above the threshold are clear. From this he can complete a self assessed tax return, registering with hmrc if he does not do one already. How many years back do you think it might affect? The current tax year’s self assessment won’t be due until Jan 2028 by which time he could have agreed to be deducted via paye.

Superscientist · 07/09/2026 22:34

Banoffeepie29 · 06/09/2026 21:33

Thank you. I will see what H says regarding this, thank you. I do realise it's important to claim. I just hope he doesn't have to pay too much back. I haven't shown him what HMRC says yet as I have been at work.

Show quote history

Do you think your husband is currently sat thinking about ways to make your life financially easier?

There's a lot going on, and I know it's complicated and very easy for those in the outside to say ask for this and demand that but please, if you do one thing - start making small decisions that benefit you even if they cost your husband.

If your husbands NI number is given alongside the child benefit claim I think he would have been notified that he needs to do the form previously. Suggest he looks into the new form they have done to allow you to avoid a self assessment form.

Next step is look to see how you can make your money go further by getting him to pay for them and a discussion about finances. You shouldn't be getting into debt whilst he is sitting on money.

OhamIreally · 08/09/2026 17:19

I feel so sorry for you Banofee 🥲

Original poster
Banoffeepie29 · 10/09/2026 07:13

I finally managed to get H to look at his net earnings. It was around 65-67k. He looked at the child benefit claim with me and I explained that he should do a tax return so he doesn't get caught out. He wasn't very happy and said he will end up owing lots of money, and that he has never heard anything from HMRC about needing to pay anything back. He was going through the claim with me online and told me to stop claiming child benefit because in his words 'he can see a big fine coming his way.' I didnt press the button not to claim but now I don't know what to do. If I carry on claiming he will probably find out somehow, then owe lots of money and he will be very angry.

OP posts:
WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · 10/09/2026 07:25

You need to leave him. He is abusive.

Do not stop claiming.

ConBatulations · 10/09/2026 07:36

You and your H don't seem to understand the system.

If you make a new claim now it will be in 2026-27 tax year. If the earnings are £65k then you will still keep 75% of the value of the child benefit. The longer you wait to claim the less money you will have as claims cannot be backdated by more than 3 months. H still has the option to reduce the tax charge by increasing pension contributions. Any tax charge will not be due until Jan 2028 or can be paid by PAYE.

For the tax year just finished 2025-26 there is no fine. There will be a tax charge as a % of child benefit received in that year. He needs to register for self assessment or use the simpler system from HMRC. Tax charge due by Jan 2027 or PAYE.

For 2024-25 and earlier there may be a fine if high income child benefit tax charge applied and was not paid. Finding this out as soon as you can will reduce this don't delay dealing with this.

To repeat. A new child benefit claim now will not affect any fine or tax charge in previous years and you will be better off financially and for the non financial reasons already given in this thread.

Overthebow · 10/09/2026 07:41

HMRC will find out at some point and he will get a big amount to pay back if he’s £7k over the limit. Presuming you are currently claiming for 2 DCs and he’s been over for a few years, it will be a bill of £1800ish and more if more years or you carry on claiming. He needs to do the tax return now or it will keep building and be more in one go to pay back.

Superscientist · 10/09/2026 08:04

You can now pay back through PAYE
https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit-tax-charge/pay-tax-charge-paye
He needs to read this page and complete the form

Self assessment will be needed for previous years though

LittleBearPad · 10/09/2026 08:27

OP you should keep claiming.

He needs to sort out his tax affairs. It’s not your responsibility.

You should also consider whether this relationship is adding to your happiness.

LilyBunch25 · 10/09/2026 08:28

Banoffeepie29 · 10/09/2026 07:13

I finally managed to get H to look at his net earnings. It was around 65-67k. He looked at the child benefit claim with me and I explained that he should do a tax return so he doesn't get caught out. He wasn't very happy and said he will end up owing lots of money, and that he has never heard anything from HMRC about needing to pay anything back. He was going through the claim with me online and told me to stop claiming child benefit because in his words 'he can see a big fine coming his way.' I didnt press the button not to claim but now I don't know what to do. If I carry on claiming he will probably find out somehow, then owe lots of money and he will be very angry.

This whole update screams that your husband doesn't take responsibility for anything himself, especially the part about he hasn't had HMRC contact him to repay anything! It's HIS responsibility to check the rules regarding his finances! And worse that if it does transpire he owes money back you seem terrified, frankly, of the backlash. With all due respect you seem to be so used to his controlling and narcissistic ways that you can't see this for the truly unhealthy setup it is.

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 10/09/2026 08:36

Banoffeepie29 · 10/09/2026 07:13

I finally managed to get H to look at his net earnings. It was around 65-67k. He looked at the child benefit claim with me and I explained that he should do a tax return so he doesn't get caught out. He wasn't very happy and said he will end up owing lots of money, and that he has never heard anything from HMRC about needing to pay anything back. He was going through the claim with me online and told me to stop claiming child benefit because in his words 'he can see a big fine coming his way.' I didnt press the button not to claim but now I don't know what to do. If I carry on claiming he will probably find out somehow, then owe lots of money and he will be very angry.

You absolutely should keep claiming.

The whole setup that allows CB to still be claimed in households where there is a high earner is precicely in order to support women in your situation. You absolutely have the right to keep claiming. Sorting out the tax consequences is his responsibility and he has been spectacularly ignorant and a pisspoor parent to have not heard about it before now, but that isn't your problem.

As his earnings are less than £80kpa you as a household will still be better off with you continuing to claim, and your children are legally entitled to that money.

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