How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

I’ve found that to be quite common in my experience. A few families I’d supported would have parents with undiagnosed Sen themselves who’s dc would often present much more severely than their parents.
My own DC are neurodivergent but one of my children is disabled due to his very limited capacity. Turns out partner and I are also ND. We had no idea, just thought we were a wee bit quirky. As it happens him having spread sheets on his favourite video game characters and writing journal entries for every film he’s watched since aged 5 or myself who kept a stray dog for 4 days in my bedroom without my parents knowing arent typical behaviour. I swear my mum actually told her colleague “lwren has been barking more than usual” and just presumed I’d taken up howling at the moon or something. My guess is, it’s genes 😁

I could only find statistics for families with 3 or more children (rather than more than 3) and 44% of these are living in poverty which is much higher than one or two child families. So it is a societal issue to decide to have far more children than you can afford to look after, especially if all of them are disabled and likely to need care long term or even for life. The majority are not from the Global South but I don’t see the difference that makes. I’m not going to pretend it’s fine and nobody else’s business for people to have too many kids, allow them to live in poverty and leave them with poor life chances.

that's what many of us do, on a regular basis. I had many years of sleep pattern like this and had to work 60 hours a week to provide for my family. Survived on coffee

I am a global majority, ethnic minority person, of Indian heritage.My mum is one of 8. When she came to this country in the 70s, she immediately got contraception and had only 2 children. Advised me to do the same. Son preference was strong in my community back then, but my mum stuck with 2 girls and never had to go on benefits, luckily. She was able to work and study further, and encouraged me to.

The birth rate is declining even amongst ethnic minorities. No one in my family born after the 70s has more than two. We want to support them ourselves and educate them. I do not think it is racist to advocate for smaller families even in ethnic minorities.

So welfare spending for families where no one in the household who works is 2-3% total spending between £6-10 Billion per year.

(Ops husband works btw)

Pensions £146 Billion per year

Compared to tax evasion/avoidance per year £39 Billion

Oh dear, so misguided and using erroneous arguments to not prove a point. Here we are again. Personal attacks. Predictable...people are touchy when others say the (previously) unsayable.

People aren't better off on benefits than working (not that it's a binary) unless they have adverse circumstances such as illness, disability or caring responsibilities. Even then, they're not necessarily better off. Disabled people and carers are disproportionately likely to live in poverty.

If you say so.

That's all very interesting (genuinely) but not related to my point.

I actually think she did. Just under different name

Right so you need to look at those stats with a critical eye instead of just concluding that large families equal more poverty. Who has the large families, what barriers do they face in life and in overcoming poverty, why are people having larger families, and so on. You also need to assess the extent to which large families are problematic - or not.

It's not a superficial issue.

Not true. They can be. Fact check yourself. But I guess you don't want to for obvious reasons.

As a general rule, they are not.

You want to be looking at future projections, not just immediate circumstances. After all, that's the premise of the op.

DH do overtime? He doesn't even work a 50 hour week.

I have to say I do agree with alot of other posters. 5 children is alot regardless of disabilities. You can't assume all of them are not going to have disabilities or that you will always be in the same financial position. You pushed yourself right up to your means and then lost income. Life is hard now and the state is propping you up. I have no idea why dc1 and 2 will cost more being at uni surely that less food and washing and water use etc ? And uni is expensive for everyone.. They could get part time jobs. Your youngest is 11 so sounds like they are all at school and you are cooking , cleaning and sleeping ? I get the sleep but other people leave the house a mess to get to work, use a slow cook etc, make quick and easy meals. Aswell as a zero hour or flexible jobs which do exist. All sounds like excuses i am sorry. 5 days a week they are at school or uni i assume ?

Thanks for being honest enough to admit you were incorrect when you confidently stated 'People aren't better off on benefits than working (not that it's a binary) unless they have adverse circumstances such as illness, disability or caring responsibilities'

There is no more money coming from UC once the kids age out so the only option is to either find a job or for DH to increase his hours, Not sure what else OP realistically thought anyone could suggest.

Backfill, why not

3 Children on DLA + Carers Allowance, UC and a wage is not a small income all in. Some have to work and care. Appreciate it might not be as much as you have been getting OP but think of it like this, other carers might not be as ‘fortunate’. Thinking single adult who needs to care for parents or elderly relatives. You’ll find a way and not having a go but either cut back or earn. For those of us taxed to high hilt, also had one disabled child as well as 3 elderly relatives to care for on top of working 50+ hours many week also tough. Survived sometimes on no sleep. Not a competition at all but just mean don’t assume those working and caring aren’t also greatly suffering/struggling. Best wishes regardless. Life not easy.

If that's how you interpreted it, ok.

Hoping to I’m sure

😂Ay ay aye

Their closest uni might not be doing their chosen course. Or that was the only one they had an offer from.

Why do people keep saying it is all her fault? On Mumsnet of all places.

Get a job. You chose to have 5 kids.

So who is paying for them then?
busybody! As taxpayers it definitely is our business where the money we earn through work gets spent. There is no undertone in pp’s post other than what your vivid imagination sees. You will be calling her a racist next ffs