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How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

1000 replies

elliejjtiny · 26/05/2026 12:19

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 26/05/2026 19:43

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:36

Here's the thing: my DH also was laid off some time ago and took ages to find another job. Then he had to take a paycut. We managed because we only have 2, and I work fulltime.Layoffs are so common these days. How can one rely on a job for life, as the OP has? I don't understand how women say " Oh, my husband has a great job so I am going to have a large family." That husband may die, fall ill, lose his job... Plan for the unexpected.

It's never a good idea to have a massive family or rely on one income unless you are Jamie Oliver. I will be telling my kids that.

I largely agree. Though sometimes with disabled children, you have very little choice but to rely on one income which is why carers of disabled children on UC aren't required to work.

I don't see the point in kicking OP when she's down. She has 5 children, they are here. What does telling her that she shouldn't have had them achieve really? Not to mention pp saying that OP's life sounds great, of course it doesn't.

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:43

HardToTrust · 26/05/2026 19:41

I don't know if you are joking or not but in case you are being serious.
Here is the facts-

The BOE have fired several warning shots recently about the state of the economy and the way the country is being run.

The IMF has commented several times on the UK spending too much and needing to change things.

The Bond Market is charging us more than Greece or Morocco to borrow. That is how worried they are about our financial viability. Given how much we owe the bonds markets a tiny change in interest means ££££££

So there is 3 reputable sources sounding the alarm on the UK.

Apart from that it is well accepted that the stock market is overinflated at the moment due to the AI bubble. Anyone that has a stocks and shares ISA should know this or if you have a defined contribution pension. If AI does not turn out to be as profitable as they are banking on then it will make the dot.com bubble bursting look like a kids party.

Background - degree and professional qualification in accountancy. Over 30 years working experience. Reads and watches lots of financial and current affairs podcasts/information.

If you think I am talking rubbish fine. Surely though you don't think the BOE, IMF and bond markets though are just firing warning shots to be mean.

The UK has been living far out with it's means for about 50 years. Fixing it is going to be very painful. No skin of my nose if you want to bury your head in the sand.

This poster is right. Not that I will vote Reform. But they will get in anyway.

Redty10 · 26/05/2026 19:43

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 18:55

Personally I think 5 children on one income is too much for anybody, disabled or not, unless they are Beckhams.

Many of us only had two or one because life is unpredictable and illness/disability/ job loss can strike at any time.

Even they both have an income….

user3769863490 · 26/05/2026 19:44

Not aimed at the OP in particular, but I really think anyone that has kids be that one child or 5 should prioritise life insurance and critical illness insurance. We are all one accident or death away from being in this position and its madness not to be prepared.
My cousin recently lost her 46yr old husband to a heart attack - but fortunately they had insurance so their house will be paid off and she hasn’t got to worry about money at least in an awful time in their lives.

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:45

Redty10 · 26/05/2026 19:43

Even they both have an income….

Well yes, even on two incomes.

I must add that I don't think the OPs life sounds great at all. It sounds very hard, as I imagine are the lives of most parents of disabled children.

Karma2023 · 26/05/2026 19:46

Why not post your income and costs to see if people can help or do so on MSE.

9 weekends to visit dc at Uni is excessive so costs could be reduced there plus you could increase your opportunity to work. Consider flexible work such as cleaners, tutoring, if you the skills or elderly care. Most will accommodate a reduced working schedule and they are always looking for workers.

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:48

Simplelife1 · 26/05/2026 19:40

Then why explain your personal circumstances if its not open to discussion?

They were deemed to be suitable for a Blue Badge. That is all there is to it. If you think blind people should not have one, then write to your MP.
Or better still, just be one of those twats that stands near the BB parking and tells people they don't look disabled.

MrsCompayson · 26/05/2026 19:48

nearlylovemyusername · 26/05/2026 19:21

Reform will not sort this out. Reform will lead to utopian collapse.

As to the rest of your questions:

  • this year welfare bill exceeded all receipts from income tax. Just think about - if you pay income tax, the entire amount goes to support people like OP. NHS, police, education etc are funded by other taxes.
  • we pay 111bn annually on servicing debt and this amount increases steadily because markets don't believe in UK stability and demand interest on government borrowing much higher than most other European countries.
  • we are at the end of Laffer curve - current taxation and welfare system discourages work at all levels. This means that people who can work stop doing so because taxes are too high and benefits are too generous.

Don't you really understand this??
I'd dare to guess that OP used to take in benefits (still takes) way much more than the average tax paying family after tax.

Just on the last bullet point, can you give me some figures that show people who can work who have stopped doing so because taxes are too high and benefits are too generous. Do you think that this is happening now?

I am not just being a pian for the sake of it, can you guve me some actual data that supports what you are saying?

Because I think its a bit disingenuous to say the welfare bill exceeds all income tax receipts, that's not just families with big kids who don't work is it? Can you give the figure for families in the position that the op is in?

That's how this conversation started.

HardToTrust · 26/05/2026 19:48

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:08

OP is disabled, is a carer, and is sleep deprived.
Sleep deprivation can be lethal.
She sounds broken. And this thread is full of people taking joy in that and kicking her whilst she is down.

People who are working their arses off only to have a huge amount taken in tax to fund families like the OP are also bloody tired and feeling depressed. Not to mention feeling like complete mugs. Nothing like being up early for your long commute before putting in a full days work, returning home and doing housework/helping your children and collapsing into bed at 9pm to make you bloody knackered.

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 19:49

user1476613140 · 26/05/2026 19:36

Watch out, you almost sound jealous!🤣

No. Not at all.

I'm glad the gravy train has reached 2 stations... Only 3 more to go.

But I do wonder why society picks on economic migrants from abroad who want to work when we have bred a generation like the OP who have done everything possible, through their own choices (to have such a large family), not to work. To make themselves economically inactive for decades. Then will have their hand out later again when they get ill and infirm.

It's the Brits like OP who have drained us, not the people in hotels seeking asylum...

Controversial I know. Oh well. :)

ForWittyTealOP · 26/05/2026 19:50

Some rude people on this thread. Here are some very simple rules of etiquette.

(1) It is none of your business how many children other people have. No ifs, buts or exceptional circumstances. Not your concern.

(2) If you believe other people's children to be defective, damaged, non-productive or otherwise not acceptable to you, keep that view to yourself. Again, non-negotiable.

Following these rules will ensure that you continue on the path of learning to become a decent person.

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:51

ForWittyTealOP · 26/05/2026 19:50

Some rude people on this thread. Here are some very simple rules of etiquette.

(1) It is none of your business how many children other people have. No ifs, buts or exceptional circumstances. Not your concern.

(2) If you believe other people's children to be defective, damaged, non-productive or otherwise not acceptable to you, keep that view to yourself. Again, non-negotiable.

Following these rules will ensure that you continue on the path of learning to become a decent person.

Edited

Afraid I disagree with the first.

I agree with the second.

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:51

HardToTrust · 26/05/2026 19:48

People who are working their arses off only to have a huge amount taken in tax to fund families like the OP are also bloody tired and feeling depressed. Not to mention feeling like complete mugs. Nothing like being up early for your long commute before putting in a full days work, returning home and doing housework/helping your children and collapsing into bed at 9pm to make you bloody knackered.

You can take leave from work. You can't have leave from caring duties.

Glowingup · 26/05/2026 19:51

ForWittyTealOP · 26/05/2026 19:50

Some rude people on this thread. Here are some very simple rules of etiquette.

(1) It is none of your business how many children other people have. No ifs, buts or exceptional circumstances. Not your concern.

(2) If you believe other people's children to be defective, damaged, non-productive or otherwise not acceptable to you, keep that view to yourself. Again, non-negotiable.

Following these rules will ensure that you continue on the path of learning to become a decent person.

Edited

Agree with number two but not number one. It is the rest of society’s business if people have loads of kids they can’t afford to financially support. It’s horrifically irresponsible.

Kirbert2 · 26/05/2026 19:52

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:51

You can take leave from work. You can't have leave from caring duties.

Yep.

Collapsing into bed at 9pm sounds like a dream.

flapjackfairy · 26/05/2026 19:54

HardToTrust · 26/05/2026 19:48

People who are working their arses off only to have a huge amount taken in tax to fund families like the OP are also bloody tired and feeling depressed. Not to mention feeling like complete mugs. Nothing like being up early for your long commute before putting in a full days work, returning home and doing housework/helping your children and collapsing into bed at 9pm to make you bloody knackered.

you could always follow suit then if you.think.they have such a great lifestyle.

HardToTrust · 26/05/2026 19:54

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:43

This poster is right. Not that I will vote Reform. But they will get in anyway.

I am actually relieved to see others who are aware of what is going on with the decline of the UK. I actually forgot to mention that we are very vunerable as well to things like the Iran war due to importing huge amounts of our food and energy. Food prices are going to skyrocket later this year and the effects of fertiliser shortages start to trickle through.

I don't know if reform can or will fix it. I know they backed down on the triple lock and that is disappointing.

I think you are right and they will get in. So many people are so very angry just now.

Whether they get in or not, life in the UK is about to become quite different.

Northermcharn · 26/05/2026 19:55

ForWittyTealOP · 26/05/2026 19:50

Some rude people on this thread. Here are some very simple rules of etiquette.

(1) It is none of your business how many children other people have. No ifs, buts or exceptional circumstances. Not your concern.

(2) If you believe other people's children to be defective, damaged, non-productive or otherwise not acceptable to you, keep that view to yourself. Again, non-negotiable.

Following these rules will ensure that you continue on the path of learning to become a decent person.

Edited

Wow. Of course 1) is our fcking business. We're paying for it.

HardToTrust · 26/05/2026 19:56

flapjackfairy · 26/05/2026 19:54

you could always follow suit then if you.think.they have such a great lifestyle.

I have too much self respect to be a scrounger. Anyway I gave up work at 51 and now live on my own money until my first private pension kicks in. So no more work for me. 30 years of paying high rate tax was quite enough especially in light of the way the government is frittering it away now.

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:57

Northermcharn · 26/05/2026 19:55

Wow. Of course 1) is our fcking business. We're paying for it.

The kids are already here. There is zero point is asking OP why she had them. None at all. She can't return them!
OK, so cut off her money. She still wont be able to work as she would still be caring for them, still taking them to appointments and still scraping by on 4 hours sleep a night. Plus they will all then be starving.

Britainisgreat · 26/05/2026 19:57

Don't have 5 kids you can't afford.

HardToTrust · 26/05/2026 19:58

Northermcharn · 26/05/2026 19:55

Wow. Of course 1) is our fcking business. We're paying for it.

It's amazing isn't it.
We have to pay for the benefits but we are not allowed an opinion on it.

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:58

Britainisgreat · 26/05/2026 19:57

Don't have 5 kids you can't afford.

It's a bit fucking late. What is she meant to do? Shove the back in?

Ladygregory1 · 26/05/2026 19:59

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:05

But why have 5 children at all in these times? Disabilities or not.

Anyway, I think the only option for the OP is to work after her DH gets home.

Disabled or not…5 kids is not necessary…I actually think it’s quite selfish

EmeraldShamrock000 · 26/05/2026 19:59

BusySpinningPlates · 26/05/2026 19:42

@elliejjtiny
Yes, I agree 100% with @EmeraldShamrock000 about sleep medication. My dc has been prescribed melatonin and it can be life-changing; they are slow release and can really help get them a decent sleep. And we have found that dysregulation and a whole load of other challenging behaviours really reduce when they have had a decent sleep. It could be transformative for your dc - and for you - in so many ways. If you were to get more sleep you might feel able to make some changes, and some employment during the school day may become possible, which might ease the financial pressure a bit.

If you weren’t s

Definitely life changing. On the very odd occasion we run out, DS can stay up all night, no problem, with melatonin, he’s gone by 10pm.
Ask your GP for a consultant referral.

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