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How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

1000 replies

elliejjtiny · 26/05/2026 12:19

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

OP posts:
SeekingSolutions76 · 26/05/2026 19:26

Probably already been said but a raise in income won’t help as it will just reduce the amount of universal credit that they get. For every extra £1 they earn UC take 70/75p in the £1.
this is why people fall into the benefit trap. My friend recently lost £700 a month by her child leaving education. Her UC reduced from £900 to
£200. In order to be better off she needed to earn more than £900 extra. As UC would keep reducing until she was no longer entitled and then still had a shortfall.
I don’t think they make it clear as to how this is a top up to support you and it will come to an end in most cases. Even those with pip and motabiliy payments that eventually becomes for the child when they become an adult.

Kirbert2 · 26/05/2026 19:26

Jellox · 26/05/2026 19:22

I’m sure it’s been mentioned but would it not be easier for DH to be the SAHP and you work FT?

That way you’ll both be home weekends and you’re going to eventually have to get a job anyway so it’s a good chance to build your career up whilst DH is still healthy enough to help carry the load.

The house is through DH's work so if he was a SAHP, they would then have the expenses of moving house that they might not be able to afford.

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:27

There's not many alternatives people can suggest.
OP's eldest is already working part time, which is a great achievement.
I was going to suggest downsizing but she says the house comes with her husband's job. Another plus.
The only option might be online work in the evenings, but that field seems saturated.In my part of London, people are desperate for cleaners, even weekend ones. But posters are saying that's a cruel suggestion.
I always think most people can often reduce their food bills by eating less meat, but not sure if her DC have special diets.

Reform is going to change everything, so if you are considering children, be very wary that they can upend your life.

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 19:27

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:22

She's not worked, chosen to have a huge family, paid for by others... No boss, no professional development, no commute, no work politics, no work stress, Sunday night dread...
Sounds great to me

No pension, no career progression, no proper sleep, no annual leave or sick pay, no respite. That is the reality of someone with disabled children.
Work sounds like a jolly compared to what some parents of disabled kids have to deal with... and they can't just take annual leave and forget about them for a while.

All her choice... After 2 she knew that disability was likely... She chose to have more.

CHOSE

If she'd stopped at 2, she'd be in a much better position to work and build a life now, instead of more putting her hand out...

CHOICES.

emuloc · 26/05/2026 19:28

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:23

They were deemed to be suitable for a Blue Badge by the people who issue them. What you think is irrelevant.

This. The meanness is real.

user1476613140 · 26/05/2026 19:29

nearlylovemyusername · 26/05/2026 13:46

what's the point of going to uni, assuming getting loans, if not to join the workforce?

To learn and focus on personal development? 🤷‍♀️

Periperi2025 · 26/05/2026 19:29

SeekingSolutions76 · 26/05/2026 19:26

Probably already been said but a raise in income won’t help as it will just reduce the amount of universal credit that they get. For every extra £1 they earn UC take 70/75p in the £1.
this is why people fall into the benefit trap. My friend recently lost £700 a month by her child leaving education. Her UC reduced from £900 to
£200. In order to be better off she needed to earn more than £900 extra. As UC would keep reducing until she was no longer entitled and then still had a shortfall.
I don’t think they make it clear as to how this is a top up to support you and it will come to an end in most cases. Even those with pip and motabiliy payments that eventually becomes for the child when they become an adult.

It's totally clear if you go on 'entitled to' and play around with scenarios. It just takes a bit of forward thinking, effort and time.

loislovesstewie · 26/05/2026 19:31

Simplelife1 · 26/05/2026 19:21

So they don't have mobility issues? Someone else has driven them to said parking space? Why do they need to be on the doorstep of where they want to go? They are able to walk medium distances? Nope no blue badge needed

Oh you really are a classic aren't you! Tell you what, tape your eyes shut tomorrow and try going about your day. Try finding your way round in unfamiliar places, try going shopping, walking across a road or car park, getting your hair cut, buying new clothes or any other activity when you can't see.
I've met some people in my time but you take the biscuit. If I said what I want to say I would be banned.
You want people with disabilities to have no life at all. I hope you never end up like that.

Kirbert2 · 26/05/2026 19:31

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 19:25

She's chosen to have 5 children in a row. All whilst relying on benefits to pay for them...

The fact they are all disabled is a different issue altogether.

The fact that after having 2 disabled children, then 3, she chose to have 4 and 5,all paid for by benefits, is again a totally different issue.

This is v simple. She's chosen to have 5 children with no idea how to pay to raise them. Bar me, you, the old people next door, the single mum working hard, they can pay for this woman's children...

You keep ignoring the fact that her DH does work and only had to take a pay cut after they already had 5 children.

In any case, you can't say it sounds great whilst conveniently ignoring the fact that the reason she doesn't work is because her children are disabled. Of course it doesn't sound great, come on now.

IncompleteSenten · 26/05/2026 19:31

Simplelife1 · 26/05/2026 19:21

So they don't have mobility issues? Someone else has driven them to said parking space? Why do they need to be on the doorstep of where they want to go? They are able to walk medium distances? Nope no blue badge needed

My sister is blind. Light perception only. Lost her sight in her early 40s. Do you have any idea how frightening it can be to be able to see nothing? To be so vulnerable?

You should try guiding her through a busy car park then come back and say she doesn't need a blue badge. Unless you think the driver should stop outside the place, get out of the car, guide her to somewhere, tell her to wait (totally blind, alone, unable to see her surroundings) and wait for them to go find a space (however long that takes, park and get back to her. then do it again when leaving.

Actually, dont answer that. Sadly, I suspect thats exactly what you'd expect.

HobGobblynne · 26/05/2026 19:31

nearlylovemyusername · 26/05/2026 19:21

Reform will not sort this out. Reform will lead to utopian collapse.

As to the rest of your questions:

  • this year welfare bill exceeded all receipts from income tax. Just think about - if you pay income tax, the entire amount goes to support people like OP. NHS, police, education etc are funded by other taxes.
  • we pay 111bn annually on servicing debt and this amount increases steadily because markets don't believe in UK stability and demand interest on government borrowing much higher than most other European countries.
  • we are at the end of Laffer curve - current taxation and welfare system discourages work at all levels. This means that people who can work stop doing so because taxes are too high and benefits are too generous.

Don't you really understand this??
I'd dare to guess that OP used to take in benefits (still takes) way much more than the average tax paying family after tax.

Well the majority of income tax actually goes to supporting pensioners - over 50% of the welfare bill is pension related - rather than families like the OPs.

Also, taxation and the welfare state don’t discourage work. If you’re able to, working always means you have more in your pocket, even with tax and welfare accounted for, than if you don’t.

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:32

user1476613140 · 26/05/2026 19:29

To learn and focus on personal development? 🤷‍♀️

Also the whole uni experience. Moving away from home, the social life and societies. Meeting new people and making new connections. It encourages independence.
A young disabled adult should get to experience that even if they might find it difficult to find work after.

raisinglittlepeople12 · 26/05/2026 19:33

Social services may be able to provide supportive care to help you enter work- speak to them.

user1476613140 · 26/05/2026 19:33

letmebetheone · 26/05/2026 14:01

This is a situation that the benefits system has encouraged. Families happily having children they cant afford to support without benefit help but knowing the more children they have the more benefits they will get and then panicking when the bubble bursts because the children grow up.

Edited

Someone I know has just recently had baby no11.... had her first aged 16 and almost 40 and still going strong.

HobGobblynne · 26/05/2026 19:34

SeekingSolutions76 · 26/05/2026 19:26

Probably already been said but a raise in income won’t help as it will just reduce the amount of universal credit that they get. For every extra £1 they earn UC take 70/75p in the £1.
this is why people fall into the benefit trap. My friend recently lost £700 a month by her child leaving education. Her UC reduced from £900 to
£200. In order to be better off she needed to earn more than £900 extra. As UC would keep reducing until she was no longer entitled and then still had a shortfall.
I don’t think they make it clear as to how this is a top up to support you and it will come to an end in most cases. Even those with pip and motabiliy payments that eventually becomes for the child when they become an adult.

You lose 55p of every £1 of your award (after the first £427 (more if you don’t have housing costs) but you’re better off because you also have your wage. That’s the benefit of the taper system.

RapunzelHadExtensions · 26/05/2026 19:36

PicknStick · 26/05/2026 15:10

All the commitments you’ve listed are on the weekend and before and after school bar 1 overnight stay a year. So you have 9-3 everyday to go to work.

It’s no different from every other family. They work in, in school hours unless they use after school clubs or rely on family members. The domestic duties get done when the kids are at home.

This.
It reminds me of my ExDH's first wife who had never worked, all kids school age, and legitimately said to the mediator she couldn't because 'When would I do the food shop?' 😂

user1476613140 · 26/05/2026 19:36

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 19:27

All her choice... After 2 she knew that disability was likely... She chose to have more.

CHOSE

If she'd stopped at 2, she'd be in a much better position to work and build a life now, instead of more putting her hand out...

CHOICES.

Watch out, you almost sound jealous!🤣

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:36

Kirbert2 · 26/05/2026 19:31

You keep ignoring the fact that her DH does work and only had to take a pay cut after they already had 5 children.

In any case, you can't say it sounds great whilst conveniently ignoring the fact that the reason she doesn't work is because her children are disabled. Of course it doesn't sound great, come on now.

Here's the thing: my DH also was laid off some time ago and took ages to find another job. Then he had to take a paycut. We managed because we only have 2, and I work fulltime.Layoffs are so common these days. How can one rely on a job for life, as the OP has? I don't understand how women say " Oh, my husband has a great job so I am going to have a large family." That husband may die, fall ill, lose his job... Plan for the unexpected.

It's never a good idea to have a massive family or rely on one income unless you are Jamie Oliver. I will be telling my kids that.

MrsCompayson · 26/05/2026 19:36

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 19:21

Yes, I can't imagine an employer would take you on with that language.

I'm shocked. Really.

Yeah, I am the only person in the world who swears! Stop being silly.

HobGobblynne · 26/05/2026 19:36

user1476613140 · 26/05/2026 19:33

Someone I know has just recently had baby no11.... had her first aged 16 and almost 40 and still going strong.

Except the 2 child cap was only lifted this month so she wasn’t having children knowing she’d get more benefits

NorthXNorthWest · 26/05/2026 19:40

JaneFondue · 26/05/2026 19:27

There's not many alternatives people can suggest.
OP's eldest is already working part time, which is a great achievement.
I was going to suggest downsizing but she says the house comes with her husband's job. Another plus.
The only option might be online work in the evenings, but that field seems saturated.In my part of London, people are desperate for cleaners, even weekend ones. But posters are saying that's a cruel suggestion.
I always think most people can often reduce their food bills by eating less meat, but not sure if her DC have special diets.

Reform is going to change everything, so if you are considering children, be very wary that they can upend your life.

Why is cleaning cruel? People will kill for a trustworthy, reliable cleaner. How can it be bad to be one?

Simplelife1 · 26/05/2026 19:40

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:23

They were deemed to be suitable for a Blue Badge by the people who issue them. What you think is irrelevant.

Then why explain your personal circumstances if its not open to discussion?

HardToTrust · 26/05/2026 19:41

MrsCompayson · 26/05/2026 19:13

Can you please let us into to this big disaster waiting to happen?

You say people losing benefits will be the least of their worries?

Why will be we living in a third world country?

How will Reform help? What particular policy will help?

Please give me some facts and figures, I am not able to make the connection between welfare support for big families with disabled children and the coming apocalypse?

I don't know if you are joking or not but in case you are being serious.
Here is the facts-

The BOE have fired several warning shots recently about the state of the economy and the way the country is being run.

The IMF has commented several times on the UK spending too much and needing to change things.

The Bond Market is charging us more than Greece or Morocco to borrow. That is how worried they are about our financial viability. Given how much we owe the bonds markets a tiny change in interest means ££££££

So there is 3 reputable sources sounding the alarm on the UK.

Apart from that it is well accepted that the stock market is overinflated at the moment due to the AI bubble. Anyone that has a stocks and shares ISA should know this or if you have a defined contribution pension. If AI does not turn out to be as profitable as they are banking on then it will make the dot.com bubble bursting look like a kids party.

Background - degree and professional qualification in accountancy. Over 30 years working experience. Reads and watches lots of financial and current affairs podcasts/information.

If you think I am talking rubbish fine. Surely though you don't think the BOE, IMF and bond markets though are just firing warning shots to be mean.

The UK has been living far out with it's means for about 50 years. Fixing it is going to be very painful. No skin of my nose if you want to bury your head in the sand.

loislovesstewie · 26/05/2026 19:42

Simplelife1 · 26/05/2026 19:40

Then why explain your personal circumstances if its not open to discussion?

Are you going to take up my suggestion of spending a day as a blind person? You might be a better person if you did.

BusySpinningPlates · 26/05/2026 19:42

EmeraldShamrock000 · 26/05/2026 19:13

OP are your children prescribed sleep medication? There are options available to aid sleep.

@elliejjtiny
Yes, I agree 100% with @EmeraldShamrock000 about sleep medication. My dc has been prescribed melatonin and it can be life-changing; they are slow release and can really help get them a decent sleep. And we have found that dysregulation and a whole load of other challenging behaviours really reduce when they have had a decent sleep. It could be transformative for your dc - and for you - in so many ways. If you were to get more sleep you might feel able to make some changes, and some employment during the school day may become possible, which might ease the financial pressure a bit.

If you weren’t s

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