How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

It’s a perfectly reasonable statement. You appear to only want to help the needy on your own terms. That’s not how it works.

Yep.

My son gets the highest rates DLA. He goes to mainstream school and will attend university if that's what he wants to do.

I see what you mean. I agree, sadly.

This is why big families are ridiculous. If your circumstances change then you’re screwed. You’d probably be able to manage with two or even three children but four or five is incredibly hard. From the sound of it even if the child with autism wasn’t diagnosed until he was nine you had very clear signs.

People just get fed up with supporting other people’s poor choices.

Does this mean you don't have rent or a mortgage to pay for?

Me too. Maybe it’s not too late to invent one?

My student nurse DD can’t commit to a pt job because of placement hours so she picks up cleaning jobs through an app. It’s Air BnBs she cleans. Find out if there’s anything similar near you. Facebook is good for finding these sorts of casual jobs.

But knowing you had two children with disabilities you didn’t, like the OP, go on to have three more children, keeping your fingers crossed that they would not also have life limiting disabilities.

Then I will deal with it. I have substantial savings and a good family unit. What's that got to do with it?

That has nothing to do with choosing to specifically have more children when you already have disabled children. And it also has nothing to do with not wanting to live in this world as a disabled person. The hypothetical chance of me becoming disabled still does not change the fact I wouldn't want to live in this world, as a disabled person. What's your point?

I'd suggest you spend some time reading.

Scandi countries tax lower and middle earners much more than we do. Their benefits are time limited and linked to previous contributions but also not means tested, unlike here, e.g. high earners have the same access to free/cheap childcare as lower paid. It makes social contract completely different.

ETA: OP is a perfect example of why people end up "needing" state support. And it's not a good case unfortunately.

Precisely. Peoples ignorance astounds me.

Ds don’t show any signs of his degenerative neuromuscular condition until 8. Even then it was mild.

he was diagnosed at 15 with a genetic condition and now at 21 uses a wheelchair.

I could have gone on to have more kids before his first symptom even materialised - who each had a 50% chance of inheriting it.

As it is me and his dad separated when he was a toddler and once I knew it was genetic and I carry the gene I decided not to have anymore.

I would look for a term time only MTA position within a school.
Roles like these do come up fairly frequently at least in our area.
I worked as an MTA/TA up until my youngest went to school because I couldn’t afford to put 3 children in holiday clubs so looked for a role within school hours.
The older 2 are now in secondary/heading to secondary school so I’ve only got one that needs wrap around care so I now work 4 longer days all year around.
As an MTA I worked 11-1.45 Mon-Fri term time only, it meant that I could do the school run, go and do the food shop/chores before going in.
When I finished I would go and prep tea and then do the school run.
Quite often I would cover as a TA 1:1 if someone had phoned in sick so that I wouldn’t go home after dropping my children off, which bumped up my hours.
My DH works 6 days a week so most of the childcare etc falls to me, but working those few hours each day was a chance to mix with other adults and do something for myself.

No. This is what a move to the far right looks like. It's not just the foreigners but everyone who they feel doesn't deserve a place in society or who doesn't have the financial and social capital to escape from it.

It has very nasty shades of recent history.

First they came.......

And now you're not making any sense.

exactly this! chartwells(lunch and cooking) or TA in a school. Yes you will be tired sometimes - we all are
Yes busy weekends visting uni kids - yes common
If you want more money you will need to earn it! I have been to work today (NHS) with just 2 hours sleep last night. Its life i am afraid

Stop it with the GCSE history. You're being hugely offensive to anyone who lived that life. How dare you.

We knew my daughter was autistic at 2 years old. She was referred to an edu psych by 3.
my husband earns £180k and we have 2 children as can’t really afford more in terms of money but also time as my daughter needs so much support and care. I couldn’t give 4 extra children the time she needs as an autistic adhd child

you need to find uni's nearer home!!

You are absolutely right. And it’s a fair system. I do not mind paying tax. I’m quite happy for what we get for it, basically free childcare and no need to pay for uni.

Best not to cloud the issue with facts. Many people on this thread don't do inconvenient facts.

How much hyperbole on this thread just because some of us have opposing views on OPs decisions, you'd think we'd actually committed a crime with some of these responses! See the German nazi camp poster

Scrap the 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting DC1 at uni. I know they are disabled but if they are able to attend uni then chances are they are able to get the train/National Express - both provide assistance to disabled passengers.

Dc1 works part time in university holidays but dc2 can't as he has selective mutism.
So what's DC2's plan for doing a degree and after they graduate?

It's all very DARVO