Currently going through my sixth miscarriage at 42 - where do I go from here?

[TammyinCork]

Trigger warning: Current miscarriage, previous losses, living child

Two days ago, we received the news at our ten-week scan that baby's heartbeat had stopped, and there was no development after seven weeks. Absolutely devastated... This is our sixth first-trimester loss (we also have a five-year-old son). I was on progesterone twice a day, low-dose aspirin, 5mg folic acid and Proceive Omega 3 and pregnancy multivitamins from positive test onwards, and was eating a very healthy diet throughout. I have never smoked or vaped and don't drink alcohol.

After the last loss 18 months ago (which I was also on aspirin and progesterone for), both myself and my husband had gone for testing at the Cork Pregnancy Loss Clinic, and all results came back normal. They just said it could be my age and egg quality (I was 40 back then and recently turned 42), and can do no more for us.

I now want to book an appointment with Dr Shehata in Epsom (I am originally from London but moved to Cork nearly four years ago, and services are a lot more limited here).

Has anyone managed to have a successful pregnancy after this many losses, and what did you do differently?

Very sorry for your losses. That is really hard. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s anything you can do about natural ageing and egg quality decline, other than consider IVF with donor eggs? If it were me I think I would draw a line and stick with the one child I have, given your age and the increasing age gap you would have between your children if you are successful at some point. I would also be worried about the higher risk of things like stillbirth and disability etc as you get older. I mean that kindly though, and know it must be very hard to draw a line. There are lots of benefits to having one child and you don’t want to miss out on enjoying their childhood because you are too embroiled in the pursuit of another baby all the time. It goes very fast.

Hi, thanks for your reply. I wouldn't consider donor eggs, but agree that there have been benefits to having one child as well. He really wants a sibling, though, and I am hoping against hope that we can somehow give him one. If I see Dr Shehata and he can't help me, then at least I know I will have done everything I could. Services are just very limited here in Ireland!

That’s fair enough, I feel for you and hope it works out. Don’t blame yourself though or feel you ‘could do something differently’ - it sounds like you’ve done everything you can to support a healthy pregnancy. You can’t help your age and it’s not a failing on your part.

Hello, fellow 42 year old here, have had 2 losses and now under Professor Shehata. I was tested for immune issues, and was found to have very high NK cells. Shehata is confident he can resolve the issue and is completely unconcerned about my age. Having six losses indicates it’s unlikely to be just egg quality. It’s expensive and time consuming, but I would say worth having the tests done to know where you stand. Good luck and I am so very sorry for your losses.

This is so encouraging to hear, especially that he is not concerned about your age! But I know that steroids and intralipids can have bad side effects - is this something you'd be concerned about?

Honestly, yes it is, I’m not looking forward to it at all. Will start trying from the end of this month. That said, there’s a group here all going through it with varying side effects so it might not be too bad. I’ve decided to give it six months and then reassess, so at least there’s something to work towards. The medications I’ve taken so far (hydroxychloroquine and Humira) have had no effect, so may yet be okay. Also, the protocols vary depending on your results, so you may not need so much medication, or anything at all.

Totally feel your pain and I’m sorry you’re going through all this. I’ve just suffered my 4th miscarriage in a row. We found out at 9 week scan that heart beat had stopped at 8 weeks. Beyond broken. We also had a Tfmr before that so 5 losses in a row since July 2023. I have two children from a previous marriage but all these losses are with my current partner who desperately wants to be a dad 💔 I turned 42 last month. I was on progesterone, aspirin and high dose folic acid too and was so hopeful after seeing a heartbeat at 6 weeks. I had also been taking coq10 for about 3 months.

no advice just wanted you to know you’re not alone ❤️

Ps a friend who is the same age also said her consultant isn’t worried about the age thing and said if you’re getting pregnant still then go for it x

A very good point - thanks for sharing that! Is there a new thread here with people's experiences of Dr Shehata's protocols?

So sorry to hear of your losses - I hope you are getting a lot of support. We saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks as well: I know the statistical likelihood of a miscarriage is a fair bit lower then, and drops down to something like 0.5% at 10 weeks, so it feels doubly painful. We never saw a heartbeat in any of the other five losses... My son was sad to hear that he wouldn't be a big brother this time round. Would you be going to a consultant like Dr Shehata as well?

Oh bless him. That’s heartbreaking. Hardest thing ever was having to tell my two we had lost ours with the Tfmr. All was well at the 12 week scan so had told them. Was heartbreaking.

Who and where is that consultant? We just can’t afford anything privately unfortunately so IVF isn’t something we can consider. Tommys have said I can be referred to their RMC in Coventry so I’m asking my GP to do that referral for me.

@TammyinCork yes there are a couple. The one I’m in is https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5228367-immunenk-cells-pred-thread-33?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

The group is so helpful, much more experienced than me too. Come join us!

wishing you so much luck and strength x

Why are you telling your 5yo so early? That's really not a good idea.

I took steroids after multiple losses (doing IVF with tested embryos so knew it was pretty unlikely to be genetic issues/egg qualities etc). It did work and I'm now pregnant but the steroids were HORRIFIC. The side effects have been hideous and much longer lasting than just the tablets themselves. I would seriously consider whether you want to do that to yourself. I have a 4yo and they basically made me unable to parent for 4 months. If we get to take a baby home I will obviously be grateful but I'm not sure if I could say it was 'worth it' considering the sacrifice.

I start to show very early, around five weeks (even though it's just a bloat), and have been having strong symptoms throughout. By ten weeks I had a noticeable bump. Also, seeing the heartbeat gave us a lot more hope that it would be a successful pregnancy, as we had only seen one before with our son. Sorry to hear the steroids have been so rough on you - the side effects really vary a lot.

That sounds very hard re: telling your two children :-(

That's great re: the referral to Tommy's. Professor Quenby is meant to be very good also! Dr Shehata is based at the CRP Clinic in Epsom. Since I am based in Ireland, I can no longer get any NHS referrals. Kind of wish I hadn't moved over now, but because my husband's business was in rural Cork, we had no choice!

Very helpful - thank you for sharing!

Hi Tammy so sorry for the awful journey you have had. I’m from Northern Ireland and background two healthy pregnancies and then 4 recurrent first trimester losses within a year. I would recommend seeing professor conor Harrity in Dublin he does ivf but also recurrent miscarriage. After seeing him I got pregnant again and I’m now 24 weeks. I had nk cells and chronic endometritis and after his treatment of endometritis when fell pregnant he gave me steroids, clexane, aspirin and two weekly intralipids and everything has worked out fine so far. He works for few clinics down south if you google him, he also is really considerate regarding testing prices etc and won’t make you do anything you don’t need to

Hello.

just wanted to add some positive vibes. I had our “miracle” at 43 after 5 losses with a 10 year gap. (Had 2 losses before our first child).

Similar to you, clexane, asprin, high dose folic acid, pregnancy vitamins and progesterone, never smoked, vaped no alcohol for over 15 years. Still miscarried.
Under the care of a reoccurring miscarriage clinic who were completely transparent saying there is no real evidence to support any of this medication but if I’m willing, they will prescribe it. I was desperate of course.

So we made the decision to stop. Egg quality was the potential problem due to age.
That last miscarriage was probably the worst due to the length of it, the pain and torrential blood loss. I put that all down to the medications.

Anyway, thinking I had some retained products of conception as I was so very very unwell, I had a scan.
It was miracle baby which for some reason stuck! Nothing other than folic acid and vitamins.

Could not and still cannot believe our luck. 🍀

It’s worth making contact with Dr Shehata to see if they have colleagues they work alongside in Ireland. I know Dr Ramsey did (male infertility here). Also if you have insurance there’s a decent network of consultants to link with. It’s much easier here to access consultant led care (had 2 in London 1 in Ireland) . Harder for specific testing clinics, they seem to link with UK labs

I’m m just wondering if you spoke to them to see if you can get a referral? I know of friends who accessed some UK clinics via GP referral

Hi there, this is extremely useful info - thanks so much. We might switch to him if I manage to get pregnant again... It would make more sense than flying back and forth between Cork and London regularly. I am so glad that you got your rainbow baby after Professor Harrity's treatment! I Googled him but couldn't find anything he does in Cork - does he have a clinic at CUMH?

Also, if you don't mind me asking, did you have any side effects from steroids and intralipids and Clexane?

At 42 I would be thinking of stopping TTC as it’s likely to be down to egg quality.

That must be so hard, but at 42, I’d be giving up.

Hi there, I'm glad to hear this. Congratulations - it is good to hear a success story that wasn't down to all these expensive meds.

Yes, I was thinking that too - thank you!