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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Are single dads welcome here?

167 replies

Niceguy2 · 12/01/2009 00:38

Hi all

Not sure if I'm welcome here or not...after all, the name is mumsnet! Apologies if I'm not....

How do others cope with being a single parent? I've been a single dad for a while now. My kids are great, my job is great. The only problem I have is how do I meet other people????

Night after night I sit here with nothing but the computer to keep me sane! I need to make new friends but how?? I don't have any babysitters, I can rely on a friend occasionally but I don't like to ask for fear of imposing.

Striking up conversations with other women at school are out. They're all in little cliques and assume you're trying to chat them all up! Blokes just don't understand my position.

I've tried the whole Internet dating thing but it would seem a lot of women are put off by a single dad. Most without children don't want the hassle. Those with children......prefer men without kids. It would seem I can't win!

Surely I'm not doomed yet?? I'm only 33, have a good job, two well behaved kids. I'm surrounded by happy couples everywhere I go! Arrgh!!!

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 12:22

oh i dont know liffey maybe its just me or is it the NY thing that's got me thinking
i mean so much can happen just in the space of one year
and probably like me you never imagined being a lone parent
i was/am def up for no more kids
but then what happens if i meet the one?
through recent experiences i've learnt not to blind myself to other people
as i now bitterly regret it

LiffeyMermaid · 13/01/2009 13:23

nah! Not for me! I want to concentrate on the things I've let slip. It may be too late for a career, but I'd love a reasonably well-paid job .... when the children are both at school. Also, I'm 37, so even if I met somebody tomorrow, I wouldn't rush into it, I don#t want to have children after 40.

I want to have a job, a small house... and a boyfriend.. ??? maybe, if possible. No more nappies!

sleepingwiththeenemy · 13/01/2009 13:55

Something NiceGuy2 said about adopting a dog....FAR less hassle than dating again, loyal, faithful, doesn't answer back....hmmmm....

Original poster
Niceguy2 · 13/01/2009 14:54

Dog's can't put the bin out or get a round of drinks in at the bar either!

OP posts:
Paddlechick666 · 13/01/2009 15:02

I don't think I'll be a getting a dog anytime soon!

Far too much comittment and responsibility.

Boyfriend would be much easier IMO AND comes with benefits

HelenBurns · 13/01/2009 15:02

Neither did most of my exes, though

Right. Dog it is.

Original poster
Niceguy2 · 13/01/2009 15:10

Ha ha Helen. You meeting wrong men.. I put the bin out and I was brought up old fashioned so I always pay for dates!

Oh I can cook pretty well too!

OP posts:
LiffeyMermaid · 13/01/2009 15:57

A dog is worse than a child, it'll never grow up.

I think a man should pay for your drink the first few times he takes you out, as it's code for letting you know if he likes you or not. If he won't buy you a sodding drink on your first date then that doesn't bode well.

doesn't mean you have to take the piss and order tripple martinis. I would like a man to WANT to pay for the first meal out, and then later, you can split, so long as the relationship is equal enough and honest enough that you can say, no, I'm broke! how about pizza!? And a walk on the beach, bring your hound dog!

LiffeyMermaid · 13/01/2009 16:00

Paddle I agree! Sometimes I thnk I've given up, but I've a long way to go yet before I reach total despair!, the day a dog seems appealing than a boyfriend then I will just don a habit and join the sisters of mercy or something

sleepingwiththeenemy · 13/01/2009 16:05

LOL...you DO all know I'm joking? . Niceguy2....you put bins out?????? You pay for drinks????? What part of the country are you from, cos I've obviously been looking in the wrong place for my men!

spookycharlotte121 · 13/01/2009 16:19

wow a housetrained man! Now that is impressive. The men in bristol are all vile and seem to be after one thing, I have given up looking for a guy and am just going to focus on getting my degree done. Spose I have time on my side tho..... Im still bored of bing single though.

mumnotarobot · 13/01/2009 16:23

where is it you live again nice guy2...lol sounding a bit ideal.

spookycharlotte121 · 13/01/2009 16:26

Lol would be so funny if you all started fighting over him we could hold an auction.....

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 16:31

me thinks niceguy's ego is getting a good massaging here ladies lol!!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 16:34

yeah charlotte same thing crossed my mind too
hey maybe we should post on a 'men only' site eh?

spookycharlotte121 · 13/01/2009 16:37

Oooh now thats not a bad idea.... we could play the damsel in distress card and flutter our eyelids at them all..... tee he he!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 16:40

ooh shall we....lets lol!!

Original poster
Niceguy2 · 13/01/2009 16:45

lol if only I thought you were all serious!

For the record I live in Nottingham.

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 16:48

how do you know im we're not ???
and thats not too far from me

Original poster
Niceguy2 · 13/01/2009 16:53

Where are you then?

OP posts:
spookycharlotte121 · 13/01/2009 16:56

dam.... nottingham is too far from bristol lol! I would be too imature for you anyways.... Im only 21 although I feel about 80 atm.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 16:57

oh very close to you niceguy lol!!
asbm rushes off quick to cancel her online dating sub!!

Paddlechick666 · 13/01/2009 17:08

you lot crack me up!

there are good, housetrained guys with kids out there.

the best ones have joined SWK and provide some balance in the usually stereotyped single mother parent environment.

they usually take a small amount of man bashing in good heart too.

just recently one has fixed an oven for one member and another sorted some burglar lights for another member.

it's kinda nice having some local guys who you are friends with who can come over and help out occasionally.

one guy has promised to fix the dent in my car actually - forgot about that! must give him a call.

anyone in London, we're all going to the Natural History Musuem 7th Feb.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 17:12

yeah all for having local guys to come and help out occasionally lol!!
niceguy doesnt seem to be taking the hint thou lol

spookycharlotte121 · 13/01/2009 17:18

D'ya think we scared him off Oops!!! I seem to have that effect on men!