Considering a move to Dubai with young children and mixed feelings

[Surfingirl]

My husband has been offered a job in Dubai, we currently stay in the country with 2 young children - aged 5 and 1. 5 year old is starting school in a few weeks. We have a lot of family and friends close by and I work part time (2.5 days a week) and stay with my children the other days. I love my life here, feel settled etc so I am really wary of moving. I would stay at home with the children in Dubai for the first year or 2 then put my littlest into P/T nursery at age 3. We have been offered a very good package but I am still unsure, feel im sacrificing a lot. Has anyone made this move and have any insight.
I have not been to Dubai before but I have been to surrounding areas (Abu Dhabi, Qatar) so I have an insight of holidaying there.

I would not live in Dubai. Yes they are trying to make progress on human rights, but no laws have changed, they just often turn a blind eye because they’re trying to be more modern.

they also are effectively a slave economy.

We lived there for eighteen months and left again, it was such a ghastly place. It's not somewhere I would raise a child. You're happy where you are. Why would you even contemplate it?

Is there anyway you could go and spend some time in Dubai before your husband accepts the job? Is it a long term contract or would it be for a year or 2?

I only know 1 family who have moved to Dubai, they both work and have 2 kids and are very happy, they have also made lots of friends and have built themselves a support network over there.

But I think you need to think about what you’d do if you hated it, how easy would it be for you to come back?

Sounds like a terrible idea to be honest

Firstly, what happens if you don't like it? How convinced are you that dh would move back? Would you have a legal right to bring DC back if you split?

Its unfortunate you've never been. But even if you had a holiday is very different to living there. Figure out what your day to day life would look like and whether you'd be content.

I know a few people who moved, some happy, some miserable, quite a few split when dh wouldn't come home.

I agree that you'd be sacrificing a lot - your job, your network of family and friends. Are you sure it's worth it?

I just asked AI about you being able to bring the DC back if you split. It'd be classed as abduction if he didn't agree. That is likely not the whole story but look into it!

I have a friend stuck in Australia because her dh left her but wouldn't let her bring the baby back to UK.

Wouldn't even consider it.

With the current extremely volatile situation in that part of the world I would be staying put if I were you.

We lived in Dubai for 7 years and loved it. If I had kids similar age to yours, I wouldn’t hesitate and focus on saving, saving and saving. You said you have been offered a good package so should be able to save. And when you come back to UK, you can live more comfortably. Can make most of Middle East and Asia travel due to being in the middle of the world so not as much time difference or travel time

No. Because you will be 100% reliant on him for money. Your own career will stall. Along with pension, savings etc. If anything happens to your relationship you are stuck there due to child access. Only go if you hate your life and it’s your only option.

No way. If you don’t like it you will be stuck there, unable to leave with your children unless DH agrees.

I know several couples who have moved there and raised families. One was supposed to be temporary but they loved it so much they’ve now settled there. Another friend didn’t want to go and stayed at home with the kids but I know that the separation has been impactful and they’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices to make it work. It’s not a place I have any interest in visiting, let alone living in but it clearly works for some. I’ve been told the secure compounds are extremely good and safe and there have been no issues. I can only repeat what I’ve been told. I guess if it’s short-ish term for an exceptionally good return, then it’s absolutely worth doing, certainly to give yourselves a more secure future. A holiday to scope things out might be a good idea at this stage.

I've lived in Dubai, now in AD. I was a school leader so have some insight into family life there. Quality of life is great, very safe, orderly, loads to do, easy to make friends. There are some lovely communities (we lived in Mira) and it's easy to save up. We have no regrets at all.

There will always be those who hate Dubai, many of them have never been there.

Do you have a way back if it doesn't work out? Both in terms of jobs and houses, but if one of you loves it and the other hates it? If the kids don't settle? Would you find jobs here easily enough if tou came back?

Sounds like you were all happy and content with your life before this offer came along and turned your heads, right?

So literally the only thing must be the money (god knows there isn't a cultural/scenic/weather/human rights reason to live in Dubai).

So now it's really the cost of giving up your current life for a payout. Will it be THAT life changing? Like 2 years and then you can both retire type payout? Only you can decide what it's worth to you, and if that grass really is greener because they use obscene amounts of precious water to create a fake oasis while their near-slave workers die of thirst

This
I wouldn’t go if it was just me and my partner
I certainly wouldn’t be taking kids there not a chance
please do some proper research 🧐

I wouldn't move anywhere I hadn't previously visited.

That would be an absolute condition before I committed to any huge move.

You are happy and settled and have a good social network close by. Is the money worth giving that up for? How easy would it be to return and start back here.

Think carefully. You don't want to get stuck.

No right or wrong answer here, just what's best for your family.

Terrible cruel corrupt place. Don’t go.

It’s not for me for many reasons.

For you, I wonder about the fact you open with “we live in the country”. Do you like living in the country and engaging in walking, horse riding, gardening etc? Because all of that is pretty impossible in Dubai. However, if you live in the country in the sense of you just drive everywhere and like having your own family space, then it might be for you.

There is nothing in the world that would make me move to Dubai (I’m Jewish and my mother is Jewish ‘and’ gay so it’s not really an option anyway). And you’d have to force me to bring my children there - particularly my daughter. Nightmare.

But in your situation I don’t understand why unless it’s crazy money and for a short amount of time. You have a good life with family and friends and a job. Unless your husband is out of work and you can’t pay your bills in can’t see why you’d destroy something you like so much.

My husband and I are immigrants (moved to the uk from America 20 years ago) so I’m not anti-change at all. I’m super anti Dubai and very jealous of people who have a strong network of family around them - it’s really hard without that and it’s the one thing that made me consider moving back.

I wouldn't

I'd stay in the UK and let him go

I hear you purplethistle: I'm a British expat in Canada and we have no family support network really, so I am very jealous of people who have a good one close by. It counts for a lot.

Crunch the numbers - is it a good package after you factor in school fees, medical insurance, cost of living and flights home?

Also, consider the weather, you would be indoors for most of the year.

Double and triple check the numbers. A friend wanted to go back to Dubai and was offered a great job, but cost of living had soared and she couldn't afford her old life so decided not to go.
And are you sure your DH has a visa offer than means you can work?