Considering a move to Dubai with young children and mixed feelings

[Surfingirl]

My husband has been offered a job in Dubai, we currently stay in the country with 2 young children - aged 5 and 1. 5 year old is starting school in a few weeks. We have a lot of family and friends close by and I work part time (2.5 days a week) and stay with my children the other days. I love my life here, feel settled etc so I am really wary of moving. I would stay at home with the children in Dubai for the first year or 2 then put my littlest into P/T nursery at age 3. We have been offered a very good package but I am still unsure, feel im sacrificing a lot. Has anyone made this move and have any insight.
I have not been to Dubai before but I have been to surrounding areas (Abu Dhabi, Qatar) so I have an insight of holidaying there.

I honestly would say I am in a bit of a funny place, the mum guilt of not being with my kids 2.5 days during the week, im thinking of am i throwing away precious time I could have with them when they are young, in a new country etc.
I am awful at decision making!

Nope - I would not go if I were you.

We live in Abu Dhabi which we love, we're in a lovely quiet area, amazing community and school. These things have such a big impact on your QoL so think carefully about where you choose.

I've heard great things about Dubai and certainly our friends who have moved to AD miss the buzz and the wider range of things to do there.

I think on MN you're going to get such a wide range of views especially from people that would never consider a move to the ME in the first place.

I'd recommend joining one of the British mums of Dubai FB group - you can get a lot more specific feedback. You can also find people to meet with for coffees etc ask advice about best places to live vis-a-vis your budget etc

What I would say is if you decide to move try and throw yourself into meeting people (so many people moving so lots of people much more friendly and open to meeting than I've found vs 20 years in London).

Exactly this!

I've enjoyed living overseas with my family. But it is very hard at times. I wouldn't do it if you aren't sure you want to. Because even if you're really positive there will be times when you wish you hadn't moved.
If you're genuinely excited by the idea then absolutely go for it but just know it will be tough at times.

No. And to all the people who loved it there and said it’s safe. Are you purposefully ignorant of the human rights abuses and the slave labour camps on the outskirts of the city? I work with someone whose response to being told this was ‘don’t judge somewhere till you’ve been’. No. I don’t need to visit somewhere to know the atrocities there. People like it for the same reason they like AI, it’s an easy holiday if you have zero empathy for others.

I question (and judge) those on here who see the posts about human rights and talk about how great it is. Being unaware when you went is one thing. For threads like this to exist and still talk about how great it is, why? What part of slave labour are you happy about? The justification for a ‘nice’ holiday is insane.

I'd recommend joining one of the British mums of Dubai FB group

because that won’t be heavily modded …..

A number of countries are still advising against travel to Dubai - New Zealand for example (it’s one of the main routes between NZ/Aus and Europe, hence why NZ citizens might be going there).

https://www.safetravel.govt.nz/destinations/united-arab-emirates

I have no idea how actually risky it is but literal government experts think it’s too dangerous to travel there and I assume they have substantial evidence / expertise backing up their opinion.

I wouldn’t go if you’re happy where you are. But of course it depends on your values, priorities, and the financial benefits. I’ve heard lifestyle creep can be REAL there with a high cost of living.

I get you on the comments though - this is clearly you doing research, to understand others’ experiences!

OP, people are informing you of issues and to research those issues yourself. If you can’t be bothered to do it for yourself then at least inform yourself for the sake of your children. It’s not negative, you’re being informed about why it’s not an ideal state to support or live in. I’m sorry it’s not an echo chamber of lies that you clearly wanted.

So you’ve never been? So you’ve read about it on the internet? Nothing but accurate information I’m sure.

This! Why would you want to live somewhere built by slaves with terrible human rights abuses. No amount of money would entice me to live somewhere so ethically barren

I know three families who moved to Dubai (One and a half have returned to the Uk) and have been there recently.

It wouldn’t be for me at all, it’s not a pretty city, a mishmash of mediocre tower blocks with endless new build estates round the edge, lots of traffic (at the wrong time it can take 45 min to do a couple of miles), nobody walks anywhere, all the stuff to do is expensive man made “attractions”. It feels a bit like one giant shopping mall. The beaches are grotty as they are dredged sand propped up with sandbags- you can watch oil tankers and cargo ships passing. It’s too hot to be outside for half the year, I couldn’t live like that.

It’s also FAR more expensive than it was so I echo pp comments about checking whether you will actually be better off financially once you factor in rent etc. Rents are insane and you end up needing memberships for this that and the other rather than going to the playground or library like you might here.

and that’s leaving aside the concerns about human rights, freedom of speech, racism sexism and corruption. If you get on the wrong side of a UAE citizen you are stuffed. If you happened to split and your DH wanted to keep the kids there, he can. Just so you know.

Hmm, bit harsh, the beaches I have been on were beautiful .

But OP if you’re incapable of using google we can do it for you https://www.amnesty.org/en/location/middle-east-and-north-africa/middle-east/united-arab-emirates/report-united-arab-emirates/

If you google those sentences it should bring up the various stories. People can be quite naive thinking you can act the same there as you would here. Did you not see the man who took photos earlier in the year of the missiles all over the news?

This would be a good place to start. You can read individual stories.

UAE Legal Expert | Detained in Dubai

This is one the bbc covered

Craig Ballentine: 'Christmas miracle' of man detained in Dubai over Google review - BBC News

I mean their own ruling family - have you not head of Princess Latifa? Please don't move over there until you've read about all of this.
Normal people have been detained there for much less.

So your response to getting some information that doesn't suit your delusions is to discount it and delete your account? Well done, OP, you might fit into a certain kind of circle in Dubai very well.

Don't.

It is a soulless place with a very dubious record on human rights in general where women are considered second class citizen.

I would suggest that your husband goes on his own, but only if the job is really well paid and he can save a decent amount to bring back home, and then he can come back after a year.

If you love your life here and your kids are settled I think it is a mistake to move.

I don't see the value of giving up your home, family, friends and your own career aspirations just so that he can make a bit more money.

There are even flight attendants who have been arrested over Whatsapps. Please do research and read news etc. Don't just rely on a forum of people whose communications etc are monitored in a different way to here.

'In the early hours of 7 March, after being woken by a loud explosion and feeling his room shake, the cabin crew employee took a single photograph on his phone and shared it privately via WhatsApp with colleagues, asking whether it was safe to leave for work or remain where he was. He did not publish the image publicly or intend to cause alarm. The image was subsequently forwarded by others.

Despite this, he has been treated as a serious criminal suspect, accused of offences relating to state security and public order.
Radha Stirling, CEO of Detained in Dubai, said “This is not someone spreading misinformation or attempting to undermine the state. He was reacting to what he believed was a dangerous situation. He had just arrived back in the country, had not seen any warnings, and simply shared an image privately with colleagues to ask if it was safe to go to work.
“Authorities have confirmed that they identified Sergey through active electronic surveillance, tracked him down, and asked him to attend a police station for what was described as a ‘chat’, where he was then arrested. This raises serious concerns about the monitoring of private communications and the treatment of ordinary residents as security threats.

“We are seeing a disturbing pattern where individuals who are effectively victims of regional instability are being criminalised for their reactions to it. This long-term Emirates employee is not a threat to national security. He is a loyal worker with no criminal history and someone who clearly meant no harm.

“Just last week, a British Emirates employee was released, but the consequences remain severe. Former detainees are not only recovering from the trauma of being in prison for several weeks, but many have also lost their jobs.'

BREAKING Second Flight Attendant Detained in Dubai Over WhatsApp Image as Cybercrime Crackdown Escalates

Ah yes. Delete the account, ignore the replies, pretend it never happened. Fingers in ears and blinkers on. As PP said, sounds like you could be the right sort of person to live in Dubai.

You asked a genuine question and you got genuine answers. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sorry op col is cost of living! Very high in Dubai

How good is the package? Friends were offered accommodation, nanny, travel back to uk once a year and a massive salary (250 each) for a finance tech role. They stayed four years in the end but the children have really struggled to settle back in the uk as schools are so different - they say they are noisy and disruptive here and no one listens.

Sorry for late reply been out all day
there’s enough replies on here now with some very good points about why not!

No, I’ve never been and have no desire to. I don’t need to visit an area when journalists (not mainstream media) have reported on the atrocities. Again, anything to justify a sunny holiday. I’m sure the state are very good at hiding the workers out of sight from naive tourists.

Visiting and not knowing is one thing. To be made aware and then accuse others of making up information about exploitation is another.

The OP was looking for advice, not a pile on from the usual virtue signallers who love it when anyone mentions Dubai on here so they’re can jump on and say how wonderfully principled they are. Never been but claim to know everything about it.