Considering a move to Dubai with young children and mixed feelings

[Surfingirl]

My husband has been offered a job in Dubai, we currently stay in the country with 2 young children - aged 5 and 1. 5 year old is starting school in a few weeks. We have a lot of family and friends close by and I work part time (2.5 days a week) and stay with my children the other days. I love my life here, feel settled etc so I am really wary of moving. I would stay at home with the children in Dubai for the first year or 2 then put my littlest into P/T nursery at age 3. We have been offered a very good package but I am still unsure, feel im sacrificing a lot. Has anyone made this move and have any insight.
I have not been to Dubai before but I have been to surrounding areas (Abu Dhabi, Qatar) so I have an insight of holidaying there.

I know several people who have moved over there for the apparent financial benefits. Most have moved back when it doesn’t work out a couple of years down the line. Friends have enjoyed their time there but it hasn’t been particularly successful in most instances I’m aware of.
Personally I wouldn’t want to live in Dubai. Although it be open to relocating somewhere else, not in the Middle East. You should make sure you don’t set yourself up for hardship should your marriage breakdown at some point.

@Surfingirlthere are expat Facebook groups in Dubai where you can get input from
people who live their currently. I think that would be far more useful than getting advise from people who have never visited there

Another saying col in Dubai is really high- be very very certain especially if you love your life now

Not in the middle of the Middle East conflict, no I’d not go, I’m surprised anyone would, but I guess money talks.and people will put their families in any sort of harms way for hard cash and career advancement.

youre 94 miles from Iran, you’d have to be utterly mad to do it. There has been literally thousands of ballistic missiles, drone attacks and cruise missiles from Iran to Dubai due fo proximity and about 250 people injured some seriously, I think three deaths we know of. And it’s cost them 10s of billions in damage. The Dubai authories are trying to keep a tight lid on how bad it is.

the culture as well is very different, they bomb the building next to you, don’t take your phone out and take a pic, you’re going to jail. Sit in women and child onky spaces in public transport. Dress modestly at all times out of the home. Make sure your knees and shoulders are covered.

for me, no way, not now. Not in the middle of the middle east conflict.

Depends on two things:
is it a temporary (eg 2 years) or permanent move?
How solid is your relationship?

If it’s temp and you have a rock solid relationship with a partner who is fully supportive of you and your kids, then I’d go just for the experience.

if either of those things are uncertain, not a chance.

I am going to use my own country, the United States, to talk about why I think this is a bad idea because criticisms of Dubai often are discarded as racism.

In my country, most of the time life is actually really great. Many people have a decent life. If you have money, a great life is almost guaranteed.

However, when things go badly, they can go very badly. The letter of the law and the culture truly matter. Attitudes towards minorities and women matter when the law does not do enough to protect marginalized groups. We are all betting on nothing going wrong. Some of us have better odds than others, but that doesn’t mean we are safe.

It will be an experience you may love it or not. The only way to find out is try it, how long is the contract or is it permanent? It will be hot obviously, from what I've heard you could live very well and there is a big expat community. Civil rights not good but it mostly wont impact you if you can live with that.

I would hate to move there especially if I had young children for many reasons. But mainly because it's not the sort of environment I would want to bring my children up in.
Only you know whether you would like that type of lifestyle where it is illegal to be gay and women are not equal members of society.

I wouldnt even go there on holiday. If you have any doubts about your relationship dont go.

Some people love it, some people hate it.

If you are happy making money whilst others are basically slaves go. Some of us have higher standards. I would never live in a place built around a pretence. You know if it's for you or not. The war in Iran would put me off too, very unpredictable how that will pan out. It's very eratic,

I have daughters and I hesitate to even do a flight stopover in an ME country due to the lack of rights and legal protections.

I don’t think this thread is very helpful for you, criticism from people who have never lived or been there isn’t worth much.

I live in AD and so much on this thread is total rubbish. Whilst I agree Dubai isn’t for everyone, I suggest you join one of the ‘Brits in Dubai’ Facebook groups suggested above to get a more accurate idea. @thornburyalways has good insights on living in the country too.

For your specific situation I’d say any move abroad should only be done if you are all-in, and if you don’t want to leave where you are now it will never work. I’ve known a lot of expats come and go, and without exception the happiest ones are the ones that throw themselves into life there and treat it as an adventure they want to get the most out of, even if that’s only for 2 years.

What sector are you in? Would you be able to work online at all if you did go, just to maintain some financial independence of your own?
Would you and your husband be able to pre-agree on how long you would go there for, e.g. 3 years and then go back to the UK/at least reassess the situation before renewing the contract? How long is the initial contract for?

I'm writing this sitting in a pub wearing shorts and a vest top. I don't know where you get your information from.

As for the conflict, there's been nothing in the UAE for months. It's very safe and peaceful, if a bit hot right now.

I have friends in this situation too (diffferent country) He cheated. She still can’t bring the kids home to family support. Awful situation. Tread carefully.

I have family there with nursery/school aged children. We stay there 3-4 times a year for several weeks to get away from the British winter, and of course to spend time with them.
living there is completely different to visiting or holidaying there, and certainly the complete opposite of what influencers post.
The schools are great, smaller classes and it’s good that children from all nationalities are schooled together. The lifestyle is great for everyone- there is every activity you can think of - my family’s children go to chess club, surfing, golf, tennis and football. There are fantastic play areas for the little one, all indoors and air conditioned and the nurseries are great. My family’s children have a supportive and fun friendship group with locals, school parents and work friends.
There is plenty of culture - the old spice and good souks, abras on the creek, wildlife in the marshy areas, a glorious opera house, open air concerts and sporting events. My family saw Coldplay and Ed Sheeran and we have been to Dubai gold cup horse racing and the International golf. There are plenty of good restaurants, some very expensive and exclusive but many family ones. The traffic is very congested but there is a clean and efficient metro and taxis are very cheap.
I lived in Kuwait for a few years and loved it. I also love Dubai, not for its superficial glitz but for the opportunities it offers to experience life to the full. I have never heard of anyone wanting to return home once they get there, but I’m sure there will be a few on here.

Are you South Asian OP? I only ask because some of the phrasing used in your post made me wonder.

An Indian friend of mine’s husband was offered a job there (he didn’t accept in the end) and she said in her experience the locals are racist towards South Asians because so many of the lower status jobs there are done by South Asians.

I know the U.K. is far from perfect when it comes to racism but in her view it was worse a lot worse in the Middle East.

My family have South Asian friends in Dubai, as well as friends from all over the world. They seem to be happy there.

My nephews were brought up in Dubai from birth, they had the most amazing childhood with opportunities you could only dream of, travelling the world with their sports teams.

We lived in the gulf for several years, loved it, and managed to repatriate about £500k tax free which made quite a difference to our lives back in the UK.

We loved the heat, the ease of meeting people from all over the world, the Arabic culture, and the easy travel to lots of interesting places.

If you love it here and feel settled I would suggest it isn’t the right thing to uproot yourselves. It sounds like you have a nice life here with a job, supportive family and friends. No amount of money would have made me give that up when my DC were very young.

I can’t comment about Dubai because I’ve never been there and don’t know much about living there. Would your husband be prepared to work there for a year on his own?

Not in a million years

Hi @HeronWading thanks for your insight...could you advise on why it was so bad? Thanks for your reply.

@Therescathairinmybath thanks for your reply. I wouldn't be keen to live apart for the year. What is swaying me towards going is having more time with my kids/much more to do/better quality of life.

No Im from the UK! That is shocking in regards to the racism.