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DH has a brain tumour

350 replies

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 06/01/2019 15:05

I've posted before about my DH, who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in 2017. He had a lung removed, chemotherapy, and was told the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes but was dormant. His last oncology appointment in November was quite positive and he was cleared to go on holiday in Germany in December.

While we were away I noticed that his memory was quite bad, but he's always been a bit absent minded so didn't think anything of it. He had been having headaches, but was due to have his eyes tested so again thought it was that.

Over New Year he started slurring his words, drooling, and being quite abrupt and snappy. My parents remarked that his personality had changed and wondered if it was his meds.

Yesterday I couldn't understand anything he said, so against his wishes phoned 111, who spoke to him and sent an ambulance. He got very distressed and stopped speaking, so that his speech couldn't be assessed. The paramedics thought he had had a stroke but he wasn't meeting all the FAST markers. When he got to a&e they sent him for a brain scan and the results showed that the cancer has spread into his brain. He has two lesions and a tumour, which is "not small". He was put on steroids and is now going to be an inpatient for the foreseeable future.

I am devastated. I don't know what to expect, he hasn't seen his oncologist yet but she is due to come round today or tomorrow. His speech is even worse today and he is speaking out of one side of his mouth only, and drooling every time he speaks. He's in denial and is convinced he's going home tomorrow, even though I have tried to break it to him that he won't be.

Had anyone been in this position? What do I need to ask the oncologist? Any tips for what could make him more comfortable? What happens next? Please be gentle.

OP posts:
Nix32 · 05/02/2019 06:04

I am so, so sorry to read this. He sounds like a wonderful person.

Honeywort · 05/02/2019 06:53

I’m so, so sorry. The absolute strength and depth of love between you and your darling husband shone out of every post.

MiceSqueakCatsMeow · 05/02/2019 06:56

I'm so sorry that your dh has passed away.Thanks

Lolly86 · 05/02/2019 07:03

I'm so sorry Flowers

StandUpForYourRights · 05/02/2019 07:09

So sorry to see your sad news. FlowersFlowers

OnTheHop · 05/02/2019 07:11

Oh love.
I am so sorry.

TanteRose · 05/02/2019 07:16

So very sorry to hear this devastating news, Gretchen Sad
No words Flowers

LadyLapsang · 05/02/2019 07:29

Gretchen, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Your love and care for your husband shone out in every post. Don't think about until the end of time, just take things day by day. You and your family are in my thoughts. Flowers

Redland12 · 05/02/2019 07:35

So sorry🌹🌹

Soontobe60 · 05/02/2019 07:40

So so sorry to hear about your husband. Life can deal very shitty blows at times, and this is just about at shitty as it gets.
You'll have lots to do, lots to talk about and plenty of times when you'll feel overwhelmed in the days and weeks ahead. Feel free to pop back on this thread to have a midnight rant when you want.
Sending big hugs xx

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 05/02/2019 07:50

Gretchen it's so unfair. I'm so sorry.

crabb · 05/02/2019 07:55

So very sorry for your loss, Gretchen. Love from Australia.

FrenchSchnoodle · 05/02/2019 07:57

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry x

anniehm · 05/02/2019 08:00
Thanks
Ticcinalong · 05/02/2019 08:00

So very sorry for your loss, your husband sounded a lovely man. It is so unfair Flowers.

Chasingsquirrels · 05/02/2019 08:02

I'm so sorry to read this AndNoneForGretchenWieners.

FeedMeBooks · 05/02/2019 08:05

I am so sorry for your loss. Such sadness but his place in your heart will go on.

IrenetheQuaint · 05/02/2019 08:13

I'm so sorry, Gretchen Flowers

littlestrawby · 05/02/2019 08:17

I am so so sorry Thanks

SnowsInWater · 05/02/2019 08:22

So sorry for your loss x

CreakyBlinder · 05/02/2019 08:24

Oh Gretchen, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your DH.

MamaBearThius · 05/02/2019 08:26

So sorry for your loss

VictoriaBun · 05/02/2019 08:33

Sorry for your lossFlowers

HamiltonCork · 05/02/2019 08:38

I’m so sorry Gretchen Flowers

oh4forkssake · 05/02/2019 08:48

Gretchen, I am so sorry for your loss and the awful time you've been through, particularly in the last month. I hope you and your family manage to find strength in each other.