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Life-limiting illness

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DH has a brain tumour

350 replies

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 06/01/2019 15:05

I've posted before about my DH, who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in 2017. He had a lung removed, chemotherapy, and was told the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes but was dormant. His last oncology appointment in November was quite positive and he was cleared to go on holiday in Germany in December.

While we were away I noticed that his memory was quite bad, but he's always been a bit absent minded so didn't think anything of it. He had been having headaches, but was due to have his eyes tested so again thought it was that.

Over New Year he started slurring his words, drooling, and being quite abrupt and snappy. My parents remarked that his personality had changed and wondered if it was his meds.

Yesterday I couldn't understand anything he said, so against his wishes phoned 111, who spoke to him and sent an ambulance. He got very distressed and stopped speaking, so that his speech couldn't be assessed. The paramedics thought he had had a stroke but he wasn't meeting all the FAST markers. When he got to a&e they sent him for a brain scan and the results showed that the cancer has spread into his brain. He has two lesions and a tumour, which is "not small". He was put on steroids and is now going to be an inpatient for the foreseeable future.

I am devastated. I don't know what to expect, he hasn't seen his oncologist yet but she is due to come round today or tomorrow. His speech is even worse today and he is speaking out of one side of his mouth only, and drooling every time he speaks. He's in denial and is convinced he's going home tomorrow, even though I have tried to break it to him that he won't be.

Had anyone been in this position? What do I need to ask the oncologist? Any tips for what could make him more comfortable? What happens next? Please be gentle.

OP posts:
GU24Mum · 04/02/2019 18:38

I've been reading your posts too. I can't think of anything helpful to say except that I really am thinking of you and your OH and hoping that you are both coping with this as well as you can. x

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 04/02/2019 23:46

My amazing, kind, lovely DH passed away this afternoon, my heart is shattered and I don't know how I will get through the rest of time.

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 04/02/2019 23:47

I'm so very sorry for your loss SadFlowers

Costacoffeeplease · 04/02/2019 23:49

So sorry to hear this, so quickly too. Be kind to yourself Flowers

GhengisCalm · 04/02/2019 23:49

I am so sorry my thoughts are with you and your family.

CaptainJaneway62 · 04/02/2019 23:51

Flowers I am so sorry to hear you have lost your amazing DH. Flowers

bellabelly · 04/02/2019 23:55

I'm so sorry for you. I can't think of any wise words that might help but please know that people are thinking of you and wishing you the strength to cope with this.

Merchantgirl · 05/02/2019 00:07

So sorry for your loss.

OhWifey · 05/02/2019 00:45

So sorry for your loss

notapizzaeater · 05/02/2019 00:48

I'm so sorry for your loss x

MadisonAvenue · 05/02/2019 01:05

I’m so sorry, my thoughts are with you Flowers

BradleyPooper · 05/02/2019 01:10

I've been reading your posts and am so desperately sorry for your loss. Thanks

SnotttyNosedSheila · 05/02/2019 01:15

I am so sorry for your loss. You could not have done any more to support him through his horrible illness. Please be kind to yourself xxx

cakegoblin · 05/02/2019 01:17

So sorry Flowers

WH1SPERS · 05/02/2019 01:28

💐🌺🌷for you and your family

1fluffydoodle · 05/02/2019 01:43

Sending love and virtual support to you and your family at this sad time, so sorry for your loss 💔🥀💔

LadyFuchsiaGroan · 05/02/2019 01:56

I am so sorry for your loss.

Romanmonkey · 05/02/2019 01:58

Gretchen, I’m so very sorry for your loss.

UAEMum · 05/02/2019 02:28

When you told us he was better the other day, I did wonder. Sometimes, near the end when people die they seem to pick up. It's like nature's way of giving you a good time with them right at the end. I have been following your post throughout and been thinking of you.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through this and deeply sorry for your loss.

namechangedyetagain · 05/02/2019 02:57

So very sorry for your loss Flowers

You absolutely don't need to worry about getting through the rest of time. For now you do it minute by minute. That is good enough.

thebings · 05/02/2019 03:33

I have just read this thread and I am just so sorry for your loss, I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and wishing you well xxx

thebings · 05/02/2019 03:34

You have displayed so much love and courage and I am sure that he would be proud of you x

citychick · 05/02/2019 03:46

So sorry for your loss. Flowers

Zoflorabore · 05/02/2019 04:07

Oh op I'm so very sorry :(

The absolute love for your dh has shone out of every post. He will have known how much you adored him and did everything you could to make his life more comfortable throughout this horrific journey.

Please look after yourself, love to you and the ds's xx

Peridot1 · 05/02/2019 04:58

I am so sorry for your loss Gretchen. So sorry. Sad Flowers