Fuck it all, my cancer has spread

[elportodelgato]

Hoping someone is out there similarly unable to sleep.

I had breast cancer in 2014, found out it had spread to my bones last October & now (yesterday) was told I have small tumours in both lung and liver.

I'm waiting to find out what my options are but the stupid thing is that I feel COMPLETELY FINE.

My oncologist has been trying to give me some positives, but it all seems completely bloody hopeless tbh. My DH & I celebrated 10yrs of marriage this year and my darling DC are just 6 and 9

Not sure what I'm asking here more than a hand hold tbh. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep.

So sorry to hear this.

Life can be very unfair sometimes.

Hoping for a more positive outcome for you and that you are surrounded my family and love and support during these difficult times.

I'm sorry you've had bad news my battery is just about to give up so I can't stay but I am thinking of you.

Hand hold here. Not sure what to say but hand holding. Sounds shit tbh. Sorry.

Thanks Mrs
For unfortunate reasons my DH is not with me until tomorrow although lovely mates have scooped me up and let me howl at them.

Sorry to hear this. Life can be so very unfair. Hoping that there is a good prognosis and outcome for you and your family

Thanks all, this time in the morning is so lonely
My oncologist was (relatively) upbeat about there being good options for me which are not chemo (yet) but honestly, this is just shit

It sounds unlikely, but being positive is probably the one thing that will help the most at this stage. You and DC are in my prayers xxx

How absolutely shit that is, I'm so sorry. Howl and rant all you like.
I'm not surprised you can't sleep xxx

I'm so sorry to hear this 🌺

When do you see the oncologist next?

That's so shit, I'm sorry.

After someone close to me had terrible health problems I really struck me that we all need to focus on making the most of whatever time we have, however much that turns out to be.

That is absolutely shit, I’m sorry.

I see a new oncologist on Monday to look at my options. I know I'll feel better and more in control once I have a plan, but just getting through this weekend will be a bloody slog

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm not sure what to say but thinking about you and your DDs.

Well bastard cancer at it again. So sorry OP. Howl. Scream. Rant.

Then gather your strength for whatever comes next. 💐

I'm so sorry. I have no idea what the right thing is to say but I'm here and able to listen.

What do you need to do to get through the weekend?

I had been doing so well on my current treatment for it in the bones, the treatment was really minimal and was working well - I am fit and able to go running etc
This feels like such a blow & I feel like I've been fast forwarded to a really dark place where I am not ready to go yet

This weekend I think I need to cuddle my kids, try to be kind to myself, take sleeping tablets. Any other ideas?

I'm so sorry OP.

From what I've heard and read, oncologists don't like to bullshit and give false hope so I have my fingers crossed that there are good options there for you to get you on the road to recovery asap.

Yes my oncologist is very straight with me. When I told her I might as well jump in front of a bus, she told me I wasn't allowed to as she hadn't given me permission to give up yet. So.

Sounds like a good plan. Mine would be keep busy get outside and run around with kids. Get physically tired so I'd sleep a bit (?). We belong to the NT so I'd visit somewhere.

Sorry to hear that OP. Your plan for the weekend sounds like a good one.

Your weekend plans sound ideal. Some nice meals too?