Fuck it all, my cancer has spread

[elportodelgato]

Hoping someone is out there similarly unable to sleep.

I had breast cancer in 2014, found out it had spread to my bones last October & now (yesterday) was told I have small tumours in both lung and liver.

I'm waiting to find out what my options are but the stupid thing is that I feel COMPLETELY FINE.

My oncologist has been trying to give me some positives, but it all seems completely bloody hopeless tbh. My DH & I celebrated 10yrs of marriage this year and my darling DC are just 6 and 9

Not sure what I'm asking here more than a hand hold tbh. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep.

[elportodelgato]

Lelleybells I'm sorry your friend is going through this bullshit too
What stage is she at and how is her treatment?

[Chimchar]

Really sorry to hear your shitty news.
I hope you’re able to have your lovely weekend, and that next week brings hopeful news x

[M4Dad]

You're a very brave lady, great plan for the weekend!

[pimmsy]

I'm sorry about your awful news.

I'm also hoping you have a lovely weekend.

[StarsAndStripes18]

Elport, offering you a handhold and

Sending you love and prayers, hope you're able to have a lovely weekend

[TwitterQueen1]

ElPorto and everyone else in the same shitty boat - you will find loads of support on the MN Lacies cancer support thread here.

It is a wonderful place where we all scream, rant and rave and generally just shout FUCK IT.

It's not fair is it? I go for walks - I like to feel the sun on my face. Bit tricky at 5.30am though... It's good that you've got friends to support you - mine have been great too.

[SandunesAndRainclouds]

Sadly I have nothing helpful to add.

But I'll leave this here:

Fuck you cancer. You're not welcome. Now fuck the fuck off 🖕🏼

[elportodelgato]

Gosh I really appreciate the sympathetic swearing, thanks all!!
I used to be a regular on the cancer thread when I had my first treatment (& when it was still the Tamoxigang!) but maybe I need to head on over there again to have a rant

Thankfully home now, wearing pjs, drinking tea, cuddling my DH

[Theworldisfullofidiots]

Have a great evening.

[Stopyourhavering]

elporto Im an oncology research nurse and help run clinical trials (NHS based) have you asked if you might be suitable for any trials?... it will depend on nature of your breast cancer - do you know if you are Her 2+ve or triple negative?.... treatment varies depending on what kind you have....look on cancer research UK website to see if there might be some near you and discuss with your oncologist- there are several options she may have already discussed- changing hormones you may already be on ( anastrazole/letrozole / tamoxifen) and/or chemotherapy?
Do you have contact with breast care nurse or specialist nurse - I'd give them a call too

[ineedaholidaynow]

Hope you have a lovely weekend

[Battlescar]

I'm adding to the fuck off and fuck you cancer vibe for you OP. Thinking of you and your family xxx

[Valentine2]

I can't really add anything that others haven't said. Please Have those cuddles with your DCs today and tell them there are people out there working their bones off to fight this fucking disease for people like their mum.
Hand hold from me too. And a cup of hot sweet tea.

[user1485708795]

Dear Elportodelgato, this is my 1st ever post on Mumsnet - I wanted to tell you that I am in New York City sending you love & hugs across the Atlantic. F_K C__R. I hope you have a lovely weekend with your family.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

Watch strictly

Oh come on, there's no need to punish yourself, it's not your fault!

🤣

I'm glad you've had a cuddle with your DH & that you've got good friends. Cancer is an utter, utter bastard.

You sound very fit & healthy & your Onc sounds positive, Please try not to plummet into the Big Black Hole of Doom.

We are all here kicking cancer's arse with you. The bastard isn't getting away with it!

[elportodelgato]

Thanks all, just what I needed to wake up to this morning!

Stopyour - yes, I think a trial is going to be my best option. I am moving over to a new oncologist & I've been told it's likely they will keep me on hormonal treatment rather than chemo for now as my bones are responding well to the current hormones (letrazole, zoladex, plus denusomab) so it's likely the new sites will respond to a change in hormones too. And I am fit and well with no current symptoms or side effects so I'm a good candidate for a trial. My brains a bit fuzzy but I think I am ER+ ? Need to find my box of notes. I do know this stuff but I try to forget it sometimes IYSWIM

Sorry that's probably way too much pharmacy talk for everyone else!

We're actually having dinner with friends tonight which will hopefully inject some normality and Strictly will have to be watched on Sunday morning instead

[Theworldisfullofidiots]

Have a lovely evening and we promise no strictly spoilers!

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Oh bugger. I remember you from when you were first diagnosed. I didn’t realise you had mets.

I was probably under a different username then, though I can’t remember what it would’ve been

I’ve got bowel cancer mets to my lungs. I know what you mean about feeling well. I’m on chemo which does make me feel quite grim for a few days, but in between I feel healthier than I have been for ages.

[elportodelgato]

Hi LeslieKnope! (Also a big fan of parks and rec here)

Yes I got bone mets diagnosed a year ago, which was a huge shock but the treatment has been so light touch I've barely noticed it - monthly jabs, daily pills and no side effects.

This new spread seems a lot more serious though. What chemo are you on? And is it having an effect on the primary cancer and / or the lung mets? I want to stay off chemo as long as I can but I'm aware it's down the road at some point... what a fucker it is.

[Justaboy]

elportodelgato So sorry to hear about your condition. My ex wife had developed breast cancer just at the time we split and it did clear up but the bugger has come back with a bit of a vengeance recently and it seems a double mastectomy is what she faces now poor woman.

I would ask you to consider any clinical trials that might be on the go at all do know someone who does medical research and without that no or little disease cure treatment progression will be made.

However you may be pleased to knw that your post has had a positive outcome one of our staff is dong a half marathon for breast cancer research she did ask for a small donation a tenner would do but sod that the company with give her a couple of hundred now!.

Hope your outcome is good really do:)

[MyGuideJools]

⚘⚘ my heart goes out to you. 💕

Fucking cancer can piss off, it took my lovely dad last month.

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Hi el

I’m on FOLFIRI and cetuximab. I don’t think either are used for breast cancer. They’ve been keeping my lung mets stable for over a year. I had the primary removed when I was originally diagnosed as it was stage III at the time. Then I had the recurrence a year and a half ago.

The hormone treatment sounds promising so hopefully you can avoid chemo for a while. And some of them really aren’t too bad. Did you have chemo first time round? I’ve found this regime much easier than my previous chemo.

[Frazzled2207]

So sorry to hear this. i’m sure your team will have a great plan of what to do next.

[qwert1]

Thinking of you. Sending you virtual flowers, chocs and whatever it is that you like to drink: be it tea/coffee or something stronger. . Huge hug. Xx