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Life-limiting illness

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I think my DH is dying

426 replies

Hellenbach · 04/10/2015 04:50

I can't sleep. It's been 13 years since DH was originally diagnosed with cancer. He had a big operation and we had many years of good health.

Then it came back and it's been a rocky road of different treatments over the past few years.

We are running out of treatment options now. He is currently on no treatment as the last one stopped working.

I can't believe how much he has deteriorated in the last few weeks. He has been bed bound for 6 days, barely eating and in pain. He is skin and bone and sleeps all day.

On Thursday he is going into hospital for radionuclide therapy. They will inject him with radioactive medicine. He has to stay in a lead lined room for 24 hours.

When he comes home he has to sleep in a separate bed for two weeks. We can't touch him for two weeks either. He has explained this to Ds1 who is 9 and very upset about it.

DS2 is 5 and has learning difficulties so is less aware.

I just don't know how DH will tolerate the treatment when he is so weak and frail. We are hoping it will stabilise the cancer. We won't know if it's worked until several weeks afterwards.

Just need a bit of hand holding.

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 15/05/2016 01:38

Oh, I am so very sorry. Deepest condolences to you and your darling boys.

Flowers
ineedtopoas · 15/05/2016 01:50

I'm so sorry for your loss

I'm glad your dh is no longer in pain but I'm so sad for you and your DC

I hope the vipers on Mumsnet can support you in the coming weeks and years FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers

Wish

ineedtopoas · 15/05/2016 01:50

*wishing you peace

echt · 15/05/2016 02:03

So very sorry for your loss, Hellen.

ScarlettSahara · 15/05/2016 03:16

Hello Hellen,
Just found your thread & wanted to express my sympathy. I lost my mum to cancer as a child & she died at home & have since then lost my Dad too. Please do come back & ask for support from Mumsnetters if needed - sometimes friends are not quite sure what to say or do.
I am glad you were able to have your DH at home & that things were explained to your DS's. My Dad felt unable to tell me mum was dying so it came as a terrible shock - it is so much better to be open. I do know my Dad told me he felt a sense of relief that all the suffering was over. Hope this helps a little Xxx Flowers

Lolly86 · 15/05/2016 03:42

So sorry for your loss X

Strokethefurrywall · 15/05/2016 03:55

I feel like I'm a day late and a dollar short.

But I'm here and I'm holding your hand very very tightly - I am so sad for you and your boys' loss Thanks

starsmurf · 15/05/2016 05:05

I am so sorry for everything you've been through and the grief you are now going through. Flowers I just hope you can find a little comfort on MN.

Rainbowqueeen · 15/05/2016 05:20

So sorry

You and your family are in my thoughts

GuyMartinsSideburns · 15/05/2016 05:27

So sorry for your loss. I've been thinking of you and your family for days. I'm terrible with words especially at such important times but I'm glad you were all able to be together at the end and I hope that despite everything it was peaceful for you all. It's been a hard and terrible time for you but you are loved and you will all be okay.

Much love to you and your family xxxxxxxx my thoughts continue to be with you.

Expatmomma · 15/05/2016 06:26

I am so sorry for your loss.

The relief that the end of suffering has come is normal. It's also very common to then feel guilty a few days down the line about that relief.

Please be kind to yourself... All feelings are normal and valid.

As you step forward in this new life my wish for you is peace in your heart, a deep strength and a desire, in time, to live life to the full.

Living and grieving well is the greatest gift you can give you boys.

Take care
.

Goingtobeawesome · 15/05/2016 06:44

I'm so sorry Flowers.

toriap2 · 15/05/2016 06:57

I am so so sorry for your loss. Thinking and praying for you and your boys xxx

notonyurjellybellynelly · 15/05/2016 07:22

I'm so sorry to hear this Helen. Xxxx

Julius02 · 15/05/2016 07:54

I've been thinking of you. So sorry for your loss. X

FedupNagging · 15/05/2016 08:13

Oh Hellen I am so sorry - your dh is no longer suffering but it is the start of a long road for you and your boys.

I will be thinking of you. Flowers

morbidhamster · 15/05/2016 08:42

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've been following your thread and thought about you many times, particularly this weekend.
I wish you and your children continued strength.

Greydog · 15/05/2016 08:51

I am so very sorry to read this

BendydickCuminsnatch · 15/05/2016 12:06

((((((Hellen and the baby Bachs))))))

I don't have any words but just really feeling for you all Flowers

YouSay · 15/05/2016 12:29

I am so sorry Hellen.

8FencingWire · 15/05/2016 12:41

All my love, Hellen, hope you find the strenght you and your family need. I'll light a candle for you all tonight. Flowers

Bimberley · 15/05/2016 12:53

I am so sorry Hellen! All my love to you and your DCs.

FourFlapjacksPlease · 15/05/2016 13:01

I'm so sorry for your loss Hellen. Thinking of you.

Timepasses · 15/05/2016 15:53

My thoughts are will you and your family Flowers

stressedoutnfedup · 15/05/2016 17:02

sending my love to you and your family, I lost my husband 5 weeks ago to cancer, so i know what your going through