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Original poster

I think my DH is dying

426 replies

Hellenbach · 04/10/2015 04:50

I can't sleep. It's been 13 years since DH was originally diagnosed with cancer. He had a big operation and we had many years of good health.

Then it came back and it's been a rocky road of different treatments over the past few years.

We are running out of treatment options now. He is currently on no treatment as the last one stopped working.

I can't believe how much he has deteriorated in the last few weeks. He has been bed bound for 6 days, barely eating and in pain. He is skin and bone and sleeps all day.

On Thursday he is going into hospital for radionuclide therapy. They will inject him with radioactive medicine. He has to stay in a lead lined room for 24 hours.

When he comes home he has to sleep in a separate bed for two weeks. We can't touch him for two weeks either. He has explained this to Ds1 who is 9 and very upset about it.

DS2 is 5 and has learning difficulties so is less aware.

I just don't know how DH will tolerate the treatment when he is so weak and frail. We are hoping it will stabilise the cancer. We won't know if it's worked until several weeks afterwards.

Just need a bit of hand holding.

OP posts:
daydreamnation · 09/05/2016 21:10

Another stranger wanting to send my love and thoughts to you all. I hope your dh death is peaceful, you all sound incredible Flowers

PacificDogwod · 09/05/2016 21:10

Hellenbach, I am very late to your thread but hope you don't mind me adding my wishes for your and your family's peace and strength.

I hope you are able to have as much meaningful time together as is possible and that you feel your DH's care is looking after his comfort and dignity.

Nobody should have to travel the road you are on, but many do. Peace and light to you Thanks

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 10/05/2016 01:31

I have no idea what you are going through, Hellen but I am still here and still sending you all the love and comfort I can muster. You have been incredibly strong through this horrendous ordeal and I am completely in awe of you.

I truly hope your DH's passing is peaceful, surrounded by those who love him. You have undoubtably been a huge comfort to your children but also to your husband as well. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to have to be the strong one through it all. When your strength has gone, come here and we will all be here to rally round and hold you up.

Huge amounts of love and prayers to you, your DH and your DC. Flowers

Goingtobeawesome · 10/05/2016 07:06

Thinking of you this morning Flowers. Sounds so useless to say that but I hope it helps a tiny bit that you are not alone.

velocitygir1 · 10/05/2016 07:09

In my thoughts and prayers Hun, I don't know exactly what you are going through-my stepdad died in a hospice so I am aware of the stress and heartbreak it evokes.

I hope dc are able to cope. It's heartbreaking to read your posts and I pray that his passing is painless as possible.

God bless

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 10/05/2016 07:39

Hellen I'm so very sad for all of you, life really can be so unfair 💐

I'm really sorry your McMillan experience has been awful - they're like the little girl with a curl. It's such a shame because they can be brilliant.

I hope your DH can go peacefully. With family members they have prepared us for how it might go, hearing it for the first time it was terrifying, but fortunately each time it's been pretty peaceful. One of my Grandads died in a hospice, it was such a lovely place with such fantastic staff and it was so comforting knowing they were on hand whilst we were in such a lovely, home from home, room.

Much love to you all
X

CeriBerry · 10/05/2016 11:17

Hellenbach- sending you all the cariad and strength in the world Flowers

mostlyexhausted · 13/05/2016 19:36

Sending you strength and hugs and warmth. Flowers you can do this.

Original poster
Hellenbach · 14/05/2016 18:34

My DH died yesterday at 9.30pm. It was the hardest week of my life and I was relieved it was over. I hadn't realised it would be so harrowing in the end.

It hasn't sunk in yet. I feel so mentally and physically drained.

The DC seem okay. The youngest is asking lots of questions about where the body goes. My eldest is probably in shock like me. Even though we knew it was coming the finality was so sudden..

My heart goes out to anyone in the same situation.

OP posts:
ColdAsIceCubes · 14/05/2016 18:35

Flowers much love to you all xx

PresidentCJCregg · 14/05/2016 18:39

Oh Hellen. I've been watching your thread for the longest time and I'm so, so sorry for your loss and what you're all going through.

Flowers
MaliaGrace · 14/05/2016 18:41

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry for you all. Love and thoughts to you all x

icklekid · 14/05/2016 18:43

So sorry to hear your sad news hellen hope you are surrounded by family and friends at this difficult time Flowers

duplodancer · 14/05/2016 18:50

Flowersthinking of you. You have been so strong for your DH and your DC. I am so sorry for your loss.
Completely different but I lost my Dad last week after a horrible couple of months and I found after his death there was some freedom to think about the good times which I hadn't been able to do at all during his illness. I hope you find comfort in the same.
How lucky he was to have you and what a comfort you must have been. He must have been a wonderful man for you to care so well for him.

maybeIwillmaybeIwont · 14/05/2016 18:50

So sorry to hear this news, it's been a hard journey for all of you Flowers

TooTiredToBeCreative · 14/05/2016 18:50

So sorry for your loss. Sending love to you and your children xx

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 14/05/2016 18:55

So sorry for your loss. Flowers

gardeningsarah · 14/05/2016 18:56

I've been reading your thread since the beginning, so sorry hear your news. Flowers

spanky2 · 14/05/2016 18:59

I have only just found your thread. I am really sorry your dh has passed. Sending love to you all. Flowers

CremeEggThief · 14/05/2016 19:00

Sorry for your loss. Flowers❤

tibni · 14/05/2016 19:00

So sorry to hear your news X

TheGingerBreadWoman · 14/05/2016 19:02

I've been following this thread from the beginning and I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss x

meffhead · 14/05/2016 19:03

I am so very very sorry Hellan ..... The last few days are horrendous and the fall out only comes after the funeral.
I'm so glad the kids are holding it together. We talked earlier in about DSIL losing her dad and the battle they had faced for the past 8 years.
He's been admitted this morning and given a driver... Glossy eyes and they have called for the family.
My old friend list his fiancée yesterday .... She was 40 and had an autistic son aged 5 ....
This weekend is proving to be SHIT !!!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 14/05/2016 19:04

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

needfemaleadvice · 14/05/2016 19:16
Flowers

I'm so sorry OP for this. It sounds so harsh and I feel for your children.

Although you're grieving It really helped me to release anger when I played some cricket a month or so after its over. I lost a grandparent to cancer as well (although they were like a parent to me and like you I was there at the end.)