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Life-limiting illness

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I think my DH is dying

426 replies

Hellenbach · 04/10/2015 04:50

I can't sleep. It's been 13 years since DH was originally diagnosed with cancer. He had a big operation and we had many years of good health.

Then it came back and it's been a rocky road of different treatments over the past few years.

We are running out of treatment options now. He is currently on no treatment as the last one stopped working.

I can't believe how much he has deteriorated in the last few weeks. He has been bed bound for 6 days, barely eating and in pain. He is skin and bone and sleeps all day.

On Thursday he is going into hospital for radionuclide therapy. They will inject him with radioactive medicine. He has to stay in a lead lined room for 24 hours.

When he comes home he has to sleep in a separate bed for two weeks. We can't touch him for two weeks either. He has explained this to Ds1 who is 9 and very upset about it.

DS2 is 5 and has learning difficulties so is less aware.

I just don't know how DH will tolerate the treatment when he is so weak and frail. We are hoping it will stabilise the cancer. We won't know if it's worked until several weeks afterwards.

Just need a bit of hand holding.

OP posts:
mysteryknickers · 14/05/2016 20:47

So sorry Hellen. This is the hardest of times but DH knew he was surrounded by love Flowers

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 14/05/2016 20:50

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH, although you probably don't feel it, your strength shines through your posts - what an amazing wife and mother you have been throughout, but please don't forget about yourself. My thoughts are with you and your family Flowers

Chasingsquirrels · 14/05/2016 20:56

I've only found this thread since my DP was diagnosed last month and have cried over it for you and your dc and for what I now see in my immediate future.
I wish you all the strength you need at the moment Hellen.
Take all the help you need, you will have people who love and care for you and what to help - let them.
There are no words xx

Justtrying · 14/05/2016 21:07

So sorry Hellen, thinking and praying for you and your sons. Flowers

1234hello · 14/05/2016 21:20

I'm very sorry to hear this Hellen. Flowers

Sending you strength and comfort. Be kind to yourself, you have been through a huge amount. Xx

ParadiseCity · 14/05/2016 21:21

I'm so sorry Hellen.

CakeUpWall · 14/05/2016 21:28

Much love to you all. Flowers

Unescorted · 14/05/2016 21:30

Hellen I started following your thread a few months ago. Your strength through this has been amazing. Sending love to you & your boys. xxx

flanjabelle · 14/05/2016 21:33

I'm so sorry for your loss op. May he rest in peace after his brave battle. Sending you strength during this awful time. Flowers

chocolatecheesecake · 14/05/2016 21:40

I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you and your boys strength and support over the days and months to come. Flowers

GlitteryFluff · 14/05/2016 23:01

I'm so sorry xx

PhilPhilConnors · 14/05/2016 23:03

So sorry Flowers

Milliways · 14/05/2016 23:11

So sorry to hear your sad news. Sending love and prayers to your family x

notapizzaeater · 14/05/2016 23:18

Flowers. So sorry for your loss.

confusedandemployed · 14/05/2016 23:24

Much, much love to you and your DC. You did your lovely DH proud, now look after yourselves. I agree with PP, between now and the funeral will be limbo time. Real life kicks in after.

And it will be so hard, but weirdly easier without the burden of terminal illness (and the harder again, because you feel bad about feeling better).

Just go with the flow and love each other FlowersFlowersFlowers

All my sympathies.

mineofuselessinformation · 14/05/2016 23:28

However much you're expecting it, it still comes as a massive shock.
Thinking of you and yours. Xxx

AJ279 · 14/05/2016 23:31

I'm so sorry for your loss. You sound absolutely incredible with all you have been through, my thoughts are with you and your family Flowers

PacificDogwod · 14/05/2016 23:42

Hellenback, my sincerest condolences. I am so sorry for your and your children's loss. Life can be so unfair and I hope you can find the strength to carry on and find happiness again at some point.
Thanks

sarahbanshee · 14/05/2016 23:59

So sorry for your loss - wishing you peace.

OrlandaFuriosa · 15/05/2016 00:17

Hellen, so sorry.

Yes, it is harrowing, exactly the right word.

Well done with your DC's.

It's been such a long time, your reserves will be depleted. Be prepared for numbness followed by reaction. Try to keep eating, drinking, having a little fresh air. Soup is very helpful for the non hungry adult. As is chocolate. There will be lots to do, but cherish yourself as well as the DCs when you can. It's important.

Thinking of you all

Mummylin · 15/05/2016 00:38

Flowers so sorry for your loss.

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 15/05/2016 00:39

Hellen I am so sorry for your loss. You have been so very strong for so long - your comment about it being a relief is completely understandable.

I have been a part of this thread since day 1 and I will continue to hold you in my thoughts in the coming days and weeks. Just know that you are not alone (as is obvious by this thread) and there are plenty of people who are here for you as you process your grief. Strength is not required here.

So much love to you and your DC. FlowersFlowers

FoolMe · 15/05/2016 00:43

So sorry for your loss Flowers

CiderwithBuda · 15/05/2016 01:14

Bless you all. I am sorry. You have been so strong. Flowers

exWifebeginsat40 · 15/05/2016 01:23

so sorry for your loss. I have shed a tear and sent a prayer up for your family tonight.