Kimberley Quinn and SIMON HOGGART??? The NOTW has really lost it this time....

[JanH]

story (allegedly)

SCREAM WITH MIRTH @ THESE!

Actually the whole thing is very DH Lawrence - pity Alan Bates has gorn (he has, hasn't he?)

Perhaps Madame Tussauds will run up a quick waxwork tableau

Kimberley as Mary, Stephen as Joseph, Hoggart as a Wise Man and Blunkett as the Donkey

These are fantastic! Ks, spot on, can hear Andie saying that in her dreary monotone!

Blunko and Hoggart wrestling naked in front of a roaring fire ...

Channel 5

Kimberley - Jade Goody
David - Darren Day
Simon - Mike Read
Stephen -James Hewitt

Omg ks, I had read that somewhere actually, now you come to mention it (not the Telegraph though, oh no!). My word, she really does sound unhinged doesn't she? What a thing to idly wonder about. too much time on her hands maybe? Hmm, maybe not otoh...

sobernoel!

ha ha ks!

'Do you come here often?' 'Umm, has anyone ever told you you're gorgeous?'

"hey baby, can i examine your identity card?"

A mad woman I know has a conspiracy theory that the reason she's slept with DB is because she's a secret agent of the FBI (or similar) and her mission is to ensure that lots of anti-terrorism legislation gets passed. The logic being, that as nobody would go to bed with Mr B out of sheer unbridled lust, it must be an onerous mission!

I quite like that explanation! But I can't think where Simon Hoggart comes into the picture. No doubt some of you budding scriptwriters out there might be able to think of a plot!

Hoggart has admitted it, OMG no wonder she didn't want DNA.

Picture the scene........Trisha (to camera) and after break, we have the results of "Whose baby is it anyway"

Welcome back.....and the result reveal that X you are not the father, soooooooooo oh no this is most unusual Y you are not the father.

Hold on, calm down everybody, is Z in the building ?? How are you with poooey bums.

Dimberley (always a friendly sort) slinks of as fast as her bump can allow her.

To be continued

Must get child to childminders.

Oh how real life interferes with MN

I LOVE the 'infrequent indeed'! Oh right then, then's practically celibacy isn't it? What with having a husband and a lover to fit in, I suppose it did limit her shagging time...
And there as me thinking 'infrequent indeed' was the normal description of marital sex...
Gah!
I feel sure she would have had John Mortimer had he been, um, up to it.

OMG - how many men has this woman sh*gged? Dh has got me Simon Hoggart's book for Christmas (he's rubbish at "secret" presents) - I won't be able to read it now without thinking of this. She's got dreadful taste in men - I man, if you're married to an old wrinklie I guess you are obliged to do the deed once in a while, but to voluntarily have it away with not one but two other old wrinklies...I think she has a paunchy, grey, saggy fetish going on there.

Tinker, pmsl at your very un PC comment !

All these lovers - it puts me in mind of this song by Tom Lehrer here

at least this years activities should spice up the Hoggart and Quinn family round robins.

OldieMum, I knew it was going to be Alma as soon as I saw the link All modern women are not jealous!