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Original poster

Women who leave their children

122 replies

sandyballs · 22/06/2006 13:32

I'm interested in your views on this article.
Sorry, fail constantly with links

www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=391876&in_page_id=1879

It's a subject close to my heart as my sister in law has left her 4 children, and although I try not to judge her, I just cannot get my head around what she has done, and how she can bear to live separately from them.

No parping because it's in the Daily Mail

OP posts:
MrsGordonRamsay · 22/06/2006 13:34

Here

MrsGordonRamsay · 22/06/2006 13:35

Or not as the case maybe.

Original poster
sandyballs · 22/06/2006 13:35

THank you. It's not there though, think I've done it wrong. It's in the Female section on the left hand side.

OP posts:
Piffle · 22/06/2006 13:36

here it is

Original poster
sandyballs · 22/06/2006 13:38

THanks

OP posts:
littlerach · 22/06/2006 13:39

My mum is stepmum to 3 children. The youngest lives with her and my stepdad, the other 2 are adults.
Their mother left them when the ypoungest was 5.
She has had v limited contact with them since.

In fact, just over a year ago, they found out, accidently, that she was moving to costa rica with her partner. They weren't going to tell either of their children until they had moved. She then came back to visit her father, without telling her kids, and made no arrangements to see them. it was only a coincidence that the youngest went to visit his grandparents and saw her there.
She has never paid child support, and shows no interest in them at all.
Just don't get it myself.

lucykate · 22/06/2006 13:41

there was a programme on sky one about this last night, same lady was featured in it.

FrayedKnot · 22/06/2006 13:43

When I first met DH, he had some friends who I also became friendly with for a while.

They had 3 kids, the youngest was about 9.

Dont; really know the circumstances behind what happened but their relationship broke down and wife left.

She was already working full time in London and commuting 1 1/2 hours each way so barely saw the kids anyway, but when I saw them together as a family at weekends etc she seemed a really loving (if slightly unconventional) parent. Always made things fun for the kids. I do think also she has a drink problem although very "social" iyswim.

I still don;t really understand the reasons for her leaving or how she could do it, I think she must have been very mixed up and unhappy.

Dior · 22/06/2006 13:44

Message withdrawn

muma3 · 22/06/2006 13:45

my mum left me when i was 12 to work away . i was left at night on my own . when i was nearly 14 she would go for weeks . when i fell pregnant at 14 1/2 she left completely and i was living with dd1 father and parents.

i have had 3 dd's and i still dont understand how my mum could live with her self . she just up and left with out telling me .

Piffle · 22/06/2006 13:47

I would hate to judge someone without knowing full facts. I also know I could never leave my kids - certainly not for another man, nor for freedom.

cutekids · 22/06/2006 13:49

this has made me feel so upset....i really couldn't bear to be away from my kids. i suppose everybody is different though and no we shouldn't judge. still very,very sad though.

Blandmum · 22/06/2006 14:06

My cousin walked out on her husband and two children because she was having an affair with a younger man who did not want her children around, She then went on to have another two children with him, showing her original boys that it wasn't children that she didn't want it was them.

This wasn't an abusive relationship, she walked out because she wanted to, and she totaly fucked up her original two kids, the elder is a drunk and an arsonist.

I do judge her, she was a selfish twat....and I've never used that word on mn before

Fully accept that other woman may have very real reasons

homemama · 22/06/2006 14:20

I would rather stay in a loveless marriage (not that I'm in such a place) than walk out on my kids. DH and I have talked about this and decided that if we fell out of love or in love with someone else, we'd put off a split until the children were teenagers. We both feel that as we've made the decision to have children then we have a responsibility to provide a stable family life for them.

I'm not judging anyone else and people have to make decisions that are right for them but I could never leave my son. I don't think DH would have the same physical longing if he had to leave but I know it would break his heart.

NotAnOtter · 22/06/2006 14:21

My mum left when i was 14 and my dp's mum left when he was 14
Inexcusable - you made your bed - lie in it.
Dont like dp chuck him out
He wont go - move out with kids

ALTERNATIVELY

Admit how totally selfish you are and expect nothing from those you ditched

nutcracker · 22/06/2006 14:25

My mum left me and my brothers but I am thankful to her for that.

Her and my dad were going through an awful divorce and our lives were being totally wrecked. We all wanted to live with my dad anyway and when I managed to get a soliciter to write a letter on my behalf stating how strongly I felt about living with my dad my mum gave up the custody battle and moved out.

Pruni · 22/06/2006 14:27

Message withdrawn

lisalisa · 22/06/2006 14:36

Message withdrawn

FrayedKnot · 22/06/2006 14:37

I didn;t realise there were so many Mners who's mothers had left them. Very for all of you.

Pruni sometimes I wonder will I still love DS as much when he is 16 and leaves his smelly washing all over the floor, probably smokes, almost certainly drinks, and wants to snog all the pretty 16 year old girls who come his way.

I think I know what the answer is

NotAnOtter · 22/06/2006 14:38

You wont Pruni same way i wont

NotAnOtter · 22/06/2006 14:41

LisaLisa you could be me!

lisalisa · 22/06/2006 14:54

Message withdrawn

NotAnOtter · 22/06/2006 14:56

I think my post natal problems are currently labelled as' Not classic depression - anxiety' but aside from that we are lookin good!

lisalisa · 22/06/2006 15:09

Message withdrawn

Northerner · 22/06/2006 15:10

I just do not feel sorry for women who leave their kids. Imo they are selfish, and putting their own needs before that of their kids. The materbal chip is clearly missing.

My MIL packed a suitcase for her boys (aged 6 and 8 at the time) put them in the car and drove to their Fathers house, he had just married her arch enemy and the boys hated her. She chucked them out of the car telling them to go and live with their Dad as she had had enough. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

They never lived with her again. She saw them every other weekend if she didn't get a better offer (ie a date or a shag)

I would walk over hot coals to keep my ds living with no matter what the circumstances.

Rejection from your own Mum is the worst possible kind and you acrry the scars forever.