DH has complained that he doesn't want his dinner on the table when he gets in from work!

[Dragonbutter]

He says he i'm a bit too prompt.
He gets in at 6.30pm and the kids have usually already eaten. I'm usually starving, but want to eat with him so try to have dinner timed for 6.30pm.
But he wants me to time it for a bit later.
IHBU?

i would want to wait too i hate coming in and then having a meal put in front of me

You should aim for 7.15 if you can. It's nice to unwind a bit before eating.

Message withdrawn

I wouldnt want to eat 2 seconds after walking through the door. Sorry.

Yes, let him unwind first and smell the food cooking so he will be famished and rearly enjoy his meal.

God no. I hate coming in from work and my tea is ready. I like to get changed, chill out a bit and 'get hungry'.

If you are starving, why don't you have a small snack when you are giving the DCs their tea, and then aim for you and DH to eat around 7.15/7.30?

maybe have a little snack yourself when the littlys have their tea, then hopefullly you can last til DH ready?

I suppose i want dinner eaten so i can tidy up and my jobs for the day are done... so i can relax a bit.

DH gets his tea when I am ready with it - whether it be when he walks in through the door or an hour later.

I would give him at least 15 minutes to get his shoes off, change if he wants, go to the loo, get a drink or something. I would hate to eat as soon as I came in too.

6.45 at least or 7pm if possible. I would just need long enough to get comfortable.

If you have your food waiting for you the minute you come through the door you would also feel under pressure to leave work bang on time and also it would make it a big deal if there was some sort of travel delay and you knew your tea was spoiling.

So do you all eat after the kids have gone to bed?
mine are 3 and 1, and go to bed around 8pm.

I really don't like the idea of sitting around for an hour while DH feels ready to eat, then heading off into the kitchen again for the 'evening shift'.

I have other things i like to do in the evenings while the kids are in bed.

No we all eat together. I will not do separate meals.

we eat about 9ish tbh...kids eat earlier of course. No big deal to wash two plates and cutlery etc later..I just stick it in the dishwasher anyway

YABU

Don't you want to sit down on the sofa with a glass of wine for a chat and a cuddle before supper?

And if not - you should think about it

we eat about 7.30pm

dh comes in and cooks it

Surely he could do the dishes, if you have cooked? Or do them together?

One of you can put DCs to bed whilst the other one cooks?

I'm with you on wanting to get everything done so I can relax, but dh would hate to be fed as soon as he gets in. Mind you he gets in a while after children are in bed so I have time before to get house straight get things done tfor the morning, prepare the meal, so only leaves cooking and tidying kitchen afterwards.

Can't he cook?? My husband would cook for me. Or if not, why not cook quick stuff together - stir fry etc, or make something for later while the kids eat their tea.
If eating later meant I felt I had to retreat to the kitchen while my dh sat in front of the telly, feet up, I wouldn't like it either.
What do you tend to do in the evenings?

Frankly, I thought the idea of 'dinner on the table' died out in about 1975! I am genuinely astonished to find it still going on, but at least your dh isn't the one demanding it.

Usual routine is to have dinner, kids are usually on their yoghurts by then. Then DH plays with kids and gets them ready for bed while i tidy up the kitchen.
Then DH reads DS1 a story while i give DS2 a bottle. Then they both go to bed and then we open the wine. I'm usually exhausted by that point and glad of some peace and quiet.

Well as with any issue in a relationship, if it only suits one person then it won't do and has to be adjusted. Talk it through with him and work out what he needs/wants and what you need/want and how best to manage a compromise that ends up with both of you getting most of what you want.

Actually, I tend to get 'dinner on the table' for 7.30. DH gets home at 7.20 (if the trains on time, otherwise we eat when he gets here. DH doesn't 'demand' it, but we all like to eat together as a family, and the DC are hungry by then and it is starting to get late anyway.

Why can't dh do the bedtime routine whilst you cook, then come down enjoy dinner with you and the wine. If you clear up as you go along, I find the kitchen takes 5 minutes after dinner.

madamez - good advice.

There you go.