DH has complained that he doesn't want his dinner on the table when he gets in from work!

[Dragonbutter]

He says he i'm a bit too prompt.
He gets in at 6.30pm and the kids have usually already eaten. I'm usually starving, but want to eat with him so try to have dinner timed for 6.30pm.
But he wants me to time it for a bit later.
IHBU?

My dh would just love to come home to his dinner on the table

... because when he gets home HE does the cooking for both of us (dc's usually eat eaten earlier) and we eat around 8.30

DH is a crap cook.

He can't be that crap. Anyone can oven cook something, or make a stir fry, or pasta.

we do that COV

I also like to do my mosaics in the evening. This evening i plan to do all the filing. Not very interesting i know but not things i can do with the kids around.

It's interesting that most of you agree and i am willing to change the routine a bit. But still want time to do the things i want to do in the evening, so will need some compromise i think.

Dragon what time do you go to bed? We usually eat around 8-9pm, I still get a couple of hours to myself to do what I want (usually mn ), or cake decorating if I have an order to fill.

Could you try and free up some evening time by getting other things done during the day, or at the weekend?

I reckon you could get things like filing done with the DCs around, no reason why not really.

I go to bed around midnight. I really love that time once the kids have gone to bed though.

i used to make dinner for 5 then the dc and whoever was home ate then, if not it got microwaved later- i refuse to cook twice. i wanted time to relax after work

my xp was hopeless at cooking- i will never foget when he cooked for me after i'd had dd. he made pizza and chips- the chips were still frozen and the pizza was burnt

My DH is so eager to eat dinner that he usually has a sandwich on the train and can barely get through half of what I've cooked !!!

My dh is in anywhere between 4 and 5, kids are starved by 4 so i have it ready about half 4 and if dh not in he warms it up for when he is! I would say 1 or 2 out of 5 he has to warm it up. We all eat the same and then when all fed i can chill when in they are in bed....

After many burnt offerings over the years, I have found a system that works for us:-
DH phones to say what time he is home. If I know he is still in the office I add another 45 minutes onto that time allowing for him to be delayed at work. I then add another 20 mins on to allow him to unwind when he gets home before his food. If he is home earlier, he has extra time to unwind

If he phones from the car, I add on 10 mins for travel then 20 mins for him to unwind.

Dragonbutter: my DH is the same and he doesnt want his meal kept warm or warmed up either sooooooooooooooooo I cook the DC's meal and when DH comes home he goes straight into the kitchen and cook ours

i'm the same, i cook for dcs and dh cooks for us. we eat at about 9. couldn't stand to eat at 5 or 6..

Ok so this evening ended up being a bit of a nightmare. Routine all to pot.
6.30pm DH arrives home, eats cereal, quick chat then took kids out to play on the skateboard etc.
7.30 sit down to dinner, both children provide dirty nappies, baby beside himself with tiredness so shouting while we eat.
8pm kids ready for bed, stories.
8.30pm DH and I collapse on bed for a cuddle, nearly fall asleep
10pm I've filed 3 cardboard boxes worth of crap mixed with important documents (have done NO filing for a very long time, just filling the spare room gradually) and DH has done the kitchen.

So everything still got done, DH had his dinner a bit later, but that hour from 7.30-8pm was horrible.

It'll get better, dragon.

Honestly, having your dinner at an exact time is very old-fashioned. My 72 year old MIL does this

Weird thing is i'm really not a routine person. The rest of the day just sort of happens when it happens, but i just want it all to stop when the kids go to bed and i want all the madness to stop as soon as possible so i can get myself together, collect, and get on with something useful/fun/uninterrupted etc.

So you all think i should stop living like a 72 year old in 1975???

eating a separate meal with a 1 and 3yo just milling about and ready for bed sounds like a nightmare.
I would go for eating after they are in bed, and maybe pull bedtime forward a little to give you more evening?

We sometimes eat as soon as DH gets in but not other times. DH's hometime varies quite a lot, also the DC have evening activities and playdates. Usually we eat together but not if it is a play date. So then we would have ours warmed up about 7.45 usually. Otherwise we eat as a family at about 5.30-6.

Today however we ate 15 mins after I got in with both children and I made it! I got changed and then bunged on the chunky meditaranean pasta soup to heat through (made it on Monday) and chopped up some bread and it was there. I very anti cooking twice in an evening.

Aww! I do understand where you're coming from. In fact, you're not wrong at all .. it's just that people don't want to eat the minute they get home.

This time of year, how about more finger food .. perhaps a buffet, or a barbeque .. a few nibbles left out for a hour or so?

And in the winter, lots of wonderful stews and casseroles you can slow cook, and people can eat when they want?

I know. Neither of us being 'unreasonable' about it at all. But it might be time to change things a bit. I'm happy to eat a bit later as long as it's not all down to me to tidy the kitchen up afterwards and for my 'work' to go on until 9pm.(The kitchen isn't big enough for two people, unfortunately but i've had fun imagining you all in your massive kitchens with some sort of breakfast bar where you sit and discuss the day while DH throws together a stir fry).

put the kids to bed and then cook something quick, ditch the pots in the sink and LEAVE them - believe me, nobody will steal them overnight. They will still be there in the morning.

Nope. My toilet basin is bigger than my kitchen.