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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

Today I realised I really am a hoarder as I struggled to open my bedroom door

125 replies

BlondieMuver · 26/06/2025 16:18

I'm very embarrassed to admit this but I'm a hoarder.
Today, it was like I seen the reality and enormity of the problem.

I needed to find a shirt and tie for my son. I nearly just went and bought new ones but suddenly I realised, I do this all the time.

My bedroom is full of clothes. Most I barely wear, many brand-new with tags.
Its now so bad I struggled to open the door this morning and (this is awful) I push clothes aside to get into bed Blush

I had to literally climb on the clothes to open the window last week.
There was almost no floor visible.
I hate my dc coming into my room. Im so embarrassed of it.
No-one else has seen it.

I've always struggled with clothes. Big family. Love shopping, especially clothes and trainers.

When I split up with exdp, it got much worse as I have the room to myself. No accountability.

I keep telling myself I will sell the clothes etc but of course, I never do...

I've removed about 10 black bags today.

My plan is to sell the clothes by weight and donate everything with tags on to charity.

I was so overwhelmed earlier.
I feel such guilt, embarrassment and shame.

Any strategies or advice appreciated. I have to deal with this.Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 16:24

Lactofull · 13/07/2025 14:47

Surely now you can see the wood for the trees! That is your motivation. You have made such progress.

how big is your house op?! Because if as you say your children literally could not enter your room, and in the first day alone you removed 42 black bags and wasn’t even half way through…. I can’t believe that none of your children living at home didn’t mention

how long has it been like this?
were your children that lived with you concerned? Commented on it?

Show quote history

The dc would say your rooms messy but they are teenagers and not that bothered. It was like my room just became the house/family dumping ground.

It started after my relationship ended 6/7 years ago but gor much worse on the last 2 years.

OP posts:
Lactofull · 13/07/2025 16:25

BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 16:24

The dc would say your rooms messy but they are teenagers and not that bothered. It was like my room just became the house/family dumping ground.

It started after my relationship ended 6/7 years ago but gor much worse on the last 2 years.

Show quote history

I suppose their benchmark is pretty low if this has been building for 6/7 years

get the fan on, get off mumsnet and clear that 2nd (3rd or 4th!) wardrobe!

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 16:26

Dutchhouse14 · 13/07/2025 15:14

You've do e brilliantly! 10 bin bags and acknowledging the issue is a significant step.
Don't feel shame, no one is perfect.
Of course ideally listing them to get some money, especially new with tags would be great, or doing a boot fair, but I totally get it's another thing to organise and feel overwhelmed with so it can be a barrier.
Is a skip a feasible option?
I do this every couple of years of course I know I should do tip and charity shop runs, post on vinted etc but it's so much effort.
Skip outside chuck all unwanted stuff in, skip people sort and recycle, some people may even skip dive and free up space, get it collected problem solved, quick easy and relatively pain free, although not cheapest option but sometimes needs must

No, I wouldn't use a skip.
Everything has gone to somewhere it will do someone else some good.
I have driven to more charity shops in the last couple of weeks, then I have in my entire life!

OP posts:
Lactofull · 13/07/2025 16:28

Do they harass you every time for gift aid?!

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 16:29

Lactofull · 13/07/2025 14:48

You bedroom must be enormous with all this furniture!! Any progress on all the boxes stacked up?

It's a decent sized room. About 9m x 11m.

I dealt with everything on the floor first so all boxes, bags etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 16:31

Lactofull · 13/07/2025 16:28

Do they harass you every time for gift aid?!

Yeah but I've went to a couple a few times and they recognised me.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 16:32

Lactofull · 13/07/2025 16:25

I suppose their benchmark is pretty low if this has been building for 6/7 years

get the fan on, get off mumsnet and clear that 2nd (3rd or 4th!) wardrobe!

Show quote history

I've run out of car space so will get back to my room tomorrow evening plus I still have the rest of the house to do and everything to get ready for the week ahead.

OP posts:
Lactofull · 13/07/2025 16:48

BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 16:32

I've run out of car space so will get back to my room tomorrow evening plus I still have the rest of the house to do and everything to get ready for the week ahead.

Show quote history

I thought the rest of the house was very tidy and organised?

myplace · 13/07/2025 16:50

You’ve done a huge amount, well done what an achievement.

Were you in the habit of storing winter clothes for the summer? I put the season clothes away, and on swap day donate/recycle a huge chunk.

It’s fairly clear which ones I don’t want, at that point. If an item has been pondered over the year before, and hasn’t been worn this year either, then it’s obviously not for me.
The jacket I love but is just the wrong length, the shirt that went so well with the trousers that I got rid of because they weren’t comfortable, the dress that looks great but I spend all evening worrying if I can still afford to go bra free…. Off they go.

I know your problem is slightly different- apart from anything else being unable to access the clothes in their heaps- but seasonal packing does have a built in opportunity for sorting!

myplace · 13/07/2025 16:52

Lactofull · 13/07/2025 16:48

I thought the rest of the house was very tidy and organised?

Show quote history

Tidy houses are tidy because of the midweek/ weekend reset, aren’t they?

I work from home and have older kids, so do a Monday and Friday morning whip round. Anything left out or needing attention gets it.

CoastalCalm · 13/07/2025 16:54

Lactofull · 13/07/2025 16:48

I thought the rest of the house was very tidy and organised?

Show quote history

Is there any need ? Most houses even tidy ones need some reset at the weekend and readied for the week ahead - it’s like you’re trying to catch the OP out.

OP you are doing amazing !

lljkk · 13/07/2025 17:12

Wow you're making terrific progress, OP.
Keep it up.
And don't go buy new stuff!!

There are funner ways to spend money, honest. x

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 18:50

Lactofull · 13/07/2025 16:48

I thought the rest of the house was very tidy and organised?

Show quote history

It is because I spend evert Sunday cleaning, washing, batch cooking. 5 people live here so it always plenty to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 18:50

lljkk · 13/07/2025 17:12

Wow you're making terrific progress, OP.
Keep it up.
And don't go buy new stuff!!

There are funner ways to spend money, honest. x

Yep, I realised I buy the same stuff over and over again. I don't need anything!

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 18:51

CoastalCalm · 13/07/2025 16:54

Is there any need ? Most houses even tidy ones need some reset at the weekend and readied for the week ahead - it’s like you’re trying to catch the OP out.

OP you are doing amazing !

Show quote history

Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 18:54

myplace · 13/07/2025 16:50

You’ve done a huge amount, well done what an achievement.

Were you in the habit of storing winter clothes for the summer? I put the season clothes away, and on swap day donate/recycle a huge chunk.

It’s fairly clear which ones I don’t want, at that point. If an item has been pondered over the year before, and hasn’t been worn this year either, then it’s obviously not for me.
The jacket I love but is just the wrong length, the shirt that went so well with the trousers that I got rid of because they weren’t comfortable, the dress that looks great but I spend all evening worrying if I can still afford to go bra free…. Off they go.

I know your problem is slightly different- apart from anything else being unable to access the clothes in their heaps- but seasonal packing does have a built in opportunity for sorting!

I used to but stopped.
I have to make new systems for my clothes/belongings/room.

Someone suggested a decluttering book earlier, I'm going to have a look at that to try to keep motivated.

OP posts:
Yesyouknowit · 14/07/2025 20:46

Don’t get the book op…. Just more clutter

get rid of two wardrobes and one chest of drawers when you have sorted everything out. No one needs all the furniture you currently have in just your bedroom!

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 16/07/2025 00:53

My bedroom is fitted so the furniture is firmly staying!

When the room was done, 7 of us lived in the house. That's alot of clothes, bedding , towels etc.

It's only 1 summer wardrobe, 1 winter and 1 formal, non alot and the room a decent size.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 16/07/2025 01:12

Blimey op you’re doing so so well. Just think how much you’ve raised for charity with this clear out. Well done!

Rather than feel ashamed I think you should feel proud that you’ve recognised a problem, faced up to it, and done something about it. That’s fantastic!

mathanxiety · 16/07/2025 04:49

BlondieMuver · 13/07/2025 18:54

I used to but stopped.
I have to make new systems for my clothes/belongings/room.

Someone suggested a decluttering book earlier, I'm going to have a look at that to try to keep motivated.

Show quote history

'Clean up your mess' programmes on YouTube are a great bite sized motivator for many, and they do not take up any space in your house.

SpudsIlike13 · 16/07/2025 05:08

You have 4 DC on the 01/07 then 6 DC on the 08/07 🧐???

WFHmutha25 · 16/07/2025 05:09

YouTube: clean with barbie, Midwest Magic Cleaning, aurikaterina, remi...they're all great. You might like feral trad wife too.

marriednotdead · 16/07/2025 05:11

SpudsIlike13 · 16/07/2025 05:08

You have 4 DC on the 01/07 then 6 DC on the 08/07 🧐???

The OP has already explained that the two eldest have left home.

deeahgwitch · 16/07/2025 16:12

MiloMinderbinder925 · 26/06/2025 16:28

You can get people to sell them for you.

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