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Original poster

Today I realised I really am a hoarder as I struggled to open my bedroom door

125 replies

BlondieMuver · 26/06/2025 16:18

I'm very embarrassed to admit this but I'm a hoarder.
Today, it was like I seen the reality and enormity of the problem.

I needed to find a shirt and tie for my son. I nearly just went and bought new ones but suddenly I realised, I do this all the time.

My bedroom is full of clothes. Most I barely wear, many brand-new with tags.
Its now so bad I struggled to open the door this morning and (this is awful) I push clothes aside to get into bed Blush

I had to literally climb on the clothes to open the window last week.
There was almost no floor visible.
I hate my dc coming into my room. Im so embarrassed of it.
No-one else has seen it.

I've always struggled with clothes. Big family. Love shopping, especially clothes and trainers.

When I split up with exdp, it got much worse as I have the room to myself. No accountability.

I keep telling myself I will sell the clothes etc but of course, I never do...

I've removed about 10 black bags today.

My plan is to sell the clothes by weight and donate everything with tags on to charity.

I was so overwhelmed earlier.
I feel such guilt, embarrassment and shame.

Any strategies or advice appreciated. I have to deal with this.Blush

OP posts:
Justchilling07 · 18/07/2025 15:54

@MiloMinderbinder925Thank you for the link.

Ademasstudio · 30/07/2025 09:33

How are you getting on OP?

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 31/07/2025 00:11

Ademasstudio · 30/07/2025 09:33

How are you getting on OP?

Thanks for asking.

I need to get back to it.

Summer holidays, work, life and excuses have slowed my progress.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 31/07/2025 00:15

SpudsIlike13 · 16/07/2025 05:08

You have 4 DC on the 01/07 then 6 DC on the 08/07 🧐???

I explained family set up.
Maybe read posts properly before posting... 🤫

OP posts:
Ademasstudio · 31/07/2025 06:48

BlondieMuver · 31/07/2025 00:11

Thanks for asking.

I need to get back to it.

Summer holidays, work, life and excuses have slowed my progress.

Show quote history

Oh come on OP!! You made such headway initially. This is no way to live. This is YOUR space. Your bedroom, for you, you deserve to have it nice. I know you say your children don’t care, but not being able to even open the door to your mum’s room will have registered with them as “not normal” and a concern.

if I were you, I’d confide in my adult kids and ask them for help. They’d probably love to get stuck in and help their mum!

Allseeingallknowing · 31/07/2025 15:19

Yesterday on Look North BBC, I saw a lady who spent £700 a week on clothes, so a bedroom full, several cases and a storage container full. Staggering, both the amount of money she spent on her compulsion and the amount of clothes she had. She’s apparently getting help with her addiction.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c625xkyxzkeo

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 01/08/2025 02:28

Ademasstudio · 31/07/2025 06:48

Oh come on OP!! You made such headway initially. This is no way to live. This is YOUR space. Your bedroom, for you, you deserve to have it nice. I know you say your children don’t care, but not being able to even open the door to your mum’s room will have registered with them as “not normal” and a concern.

if I were you, I’d confide in my adult kids and ask them for help. They’d probably love to get stuck in and help their mum!

Edited
Show quote history

All the floor and sides are clear and tidy. It's just organising the contents of the wardrobes and drawers.

I would never ask my adult children to tidy my bedroom or any part of my house!

It's the school holidays and absolutely full on so I'm struggling for time.

OP posts:
IncessantNameChanger · 02/08/2025 15:48

Op just keep chipping away. Put a hairband or ribbon - anything on the item at the right of your wardrobe.pull the first ten things out to the left of your wardrobe out. Try those ten things on. F you want to keep it put it to the right of your ribbon item. If you not sure then maybe you can have an afitional different coloured ribbon on the right and put it there as "not sure".

Do this everyday and before long you tried everything on. If still does close get rid of however much of the " not sure " pile until it foes. Book in Anglo doorstep collection every two weeks.

I have 4 kids, three have significant SEN..ten items a day even I can manage and I have been clinical diagnosed ( as much as you can be) as a hoarder. The only person that can help you is you. I have had so much therapy and help. Belive me it's only you that has the control.

Also another harsh reality is you need to stop buying. Cold turkey. Not doing both is pointless. ⁸

Roothewheel · 08/08/2025 15:14

Why wouldn’t you ask your adult kids to help you out OP? They’d probably be really supportive.

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 09/08/2025 23:12

Roothewheel · 08/08/2025 15:14

Why wouldn’t you ask your adult kids to help you out OP? They’d probably be really supportive.

I just wouldn't. My ds wouldn't get it and my dd would be embarrassed of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 09/08/2025 23:18

IncessantNameChanger · 02/08/2025 15:48

Op just keep chipping away. Put a hairband or ribbon - anything on the item at the right of your wardrobe.pull the first ten things out to the left of your wardrobe out. Try those ten things on. F you want to keep it put it to the right of your ribbon item. If you not sure then maybe you can have an afitional different coloured ribbon on the right and put it there as "not sure".

Do this everyday and before long you tried everything on. If still does close get rid of however much of the " not sure " pile until it foes. Book in Anglo doorstep collection every two weeks.

I have 4 kids, three have significant SEN..ten items a day even I can manage and I have been clinical diagnosed ( as much as you can be) as a hoarder. The only person that can help you is you. I have had so much therapy and help. Belive me it's only you that has the control.

Also another harsh reality is you need to stop buying. Cold turkey. Not doing both is pointless. ⁸

I don't buy much other then what the dc need but as I said earlier in the thread, the issue came about as I got it into my head I would sell the clothes.

I don't have time some days to do anything in my room as I regularly work 12/14 hr shifts.
Plus I find sorting stuff incredibly boring so I need to get it done as quickly as possible.

I have tomorrow off (first day of in 10 days) so will start on the next one and do as much as possible.

OP posts:
Roothewheel · 10/08/2025 06:46

BlondieMuver · 09/08/2025 23:12

I just wouldn't. My ds wouldn't get it and my dd would be embarrassed of me.

Show quote history

Why wouldn’t they “get it”
Their mother has been through a very difficult time, which they will obviously know about, and she has responded to that by buying things.

Your adult DD would be embarrassed by you? I take it your aren’t close (and she isn’t pleasant!). So perhaps you’re right not to ask any of them.

Roothewheel · 10/08/2025 06:47

BlondieMuver · 09/08/2025 23:18

I don't buy much other then what the dc need but as I said earlier in the thread, the issue came about as I got it into my head I would sell the clothes.

I don't have time some days to do anything in my room as I regularly work 12/14 hr shifts.
Plus I find sorting stuff incredibly boring so I need to get it done as quickly as possible.

I have tomorrow off (first day of in 10 days) so will start on the next one and do as much as possible.

Show quote history

Is this the next wardrobe?

Good luck! Get sa good audiobook

Dancingsquirrels · 10/08/2025 07:22

You're doing great

Marie Kondo book is good for decluttering. She focuses on what to keep, rather than what to get rid of

Therapy to explore why you bought so much might be helpful, to avoid repeating the cycle

Itchyoureye · 29/08/2025 14:48

Your bedroom must be looking good now OP?!

ChocolateCinderToffee · 29/08/2025 15:51

Once you’ve cleared it, have a strict ‘one in, one out’ policy for new stuff.

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 29/08/2025 17:28

Dancingsquirrels · 10/08/2025 07:22

You're doing great

Marie Kondo book is good for decluttering. She focuses on what to keep, rather than what to get rid of

Therapy to explore why you bought so much might be helpful, to avoid repeating the cycle

I explained earlier in the thread how the situation came about.

It started 5 or 6 years ago
It was due to thinking I would sell the clothes as my teens were growing like mad so between all of them, ended up with alot of outgrown clothes. Realistically I just didn't have the time to sort them and sell them etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 29/08/2025 17:34

Itchyoureye · 29/08/2025 14:48

Your bedroom must be looking good now OP?!

Yes!

Thanks for asking.

My room is very clear and tidy. No clutter at all.

I found I got faster and faster at sorting through stuff so could see what I was achieving.

Its spread now to other spaces. Like cupboards and the garden shed. It's very satisfying.

Its easier to keep on top of the laundry now as it's easier to it all put away.

I am strict with myself about putting clothes away every night.

I hide in my room now, the summer holidays have been very long in this house so it's nice to have somewhere to escape to.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 29/08/2025 17:36

ChocolateCinderToffee · 29/08/2025 15:51

Once you’ve cleared it, have a strict ‘one in, one out’ policy for new stuff.

I'm really not fussed about shopping. It's embarrassing to admit how many times I purchased the same item just because I couldn't find them... Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondieMuver · 29/08/2025 17:38

Roothewheel · 10/08/2025 06:46

Why wouldn’t they “get it”
Their mother has been through a very difficult time, which they will obviously know about, and she has responded to that by buying things.

Your adult DD would be embarrassed by you? I take it your aren’t close (and she isn’t pleasant!). So perhaps you’re right not to ask any of them.

Show quote history

That's alot of presuming...

🙄

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 22/09/2025 15:37

Have you managed to clear it op?!

Toobloomeasy · 06/10/2025 14:56

Oh shame this Op hasn’t been back, which indicates that progress stagnated. Come on op, keep at it! It will be so worth it

Tillow4ever · 06/10/2025 15:38

Toobloomeasy · 06/10/2025 14:56

Oh shame this Op hasn’t been back, which indicates that progress stagnated. Come on op, keep at it! It will be so worth it

On the 29th August the OP said the room is now clean and tidy with no clutter at all?

Latenightreader · 06/10/2025 15:40

Toobloomeasy · 06/10/2025 14:56

Oh shame this Op hasn’t been back, which indicates that progress stagnated. Come on op, keep at it! It will be so worth it

Seems a very negative way of thinking about it! In her last update she was on top of things in her bedroom and was sorting out the rest of the house. There has been almost no traffic on the thread since so no idea why you jumped straight to 'the OP has failed' rather than the thread has served its original purpose and died a natural death.

Toobloomeasy · 06/10/2025 15:47

I am so sorry!!!! For some stupid reason I missed the last half dozen posts!

good on you op

how’s it keeping?

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