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Housekeeping

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This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

824 replies

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 16:54

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

  1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)
  1. Goals vs system.
We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.
  1. You are never behind.
You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

OP posts:
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Slingingcontest · 22/01/2022 12:08

Sorry to have dropped off thread. Been in a bit of a sluff!

Hills sorry you are going through the attendant stress but hope ds's change of direction works out well and proves beneficial for him. There is never only one way of reaching an end point!

I am absolutely crap at change but that's because it's usually not instigated by me! Grin and frankly living in a different country means ongoing change and adaptatio, even after a long time being here.

Up.against it atm because I have 4 days ( today day 2) of pure housekeeping/decluttering/cleaning then we are off on hols for a week, then its February [eek] and back to "proper" routine of work/3 separate renovation projects/mini enterprise prep/house emptying/plus a thousand other things. I've really enjoyed having a break over Christmas & NY but it has definitely shown me that when I only have admin work and housekeeping to do...I don't do nearly enough of the latter! Blush So maybe having a load of things to balance is a good thing after all! Grin

Glad you're feeling a bit better Red

Sing good luck with your thirty things! And great your dd has had the pin removed!

Frankie I'm so sorry about the dog Sad I hope the rescue centre can offer support. Sorry you are all feeling below par too. Flowers sounds really stressful Flowers

StillUp congrats on spectacularly well.organised knicker drawer! Grin And your ta da list is amazing especially as you have a new born! Take it steady Flowers

Hope leak was resolved OK ED

Must just go and throttle dh. Poor dd is white and literally almost puking with nerves having studied nearly all night for really important exam in one hour (there are so many they sit them on Saturdays too) - she is really worked up.about it - and he has decided that now is the time to start frying massive greasy brunch with sausages, eggs, bacon etc, which no one else wants except him...destroying the kitchen I cleaned yesterday... overpowering smell of burning sausages and cloud of smoke .....while whistling loudly grrrrrrrrrrrr Angry Honestly sometimes he has the sensitivity of a water buffalo!

Vigorous waves to everyone!

Slingingcontest · 22/01/2022 12:20

Sing very few tasks are truly one stop imho! Not in this disorganised house anyway!

Shame it wasn't champagne Stillup! Grin And bless your dd1 in a tutu!

RedSquirrel I cannot bear folk on You Tube who witter on b4 getting to the point (yes I do see the irony in that; being Chief Witterer-on on here Grin)

Hope you survive IKEA Swallowedafly

Slingingcontest · 22/01/2022 12:21

Zoo hope you are OK Flowers

SingToTheSky · 22/01/2022 13:40

A little more progress has been made… but mostly relaxing because DH took Cagletini to dance class and that’s my relaxing time! So I watched The Middle and ate chocolate. Not even dressed. Will carry on with little OaD tasks through the day but also want to make sure I get clutter sorted. Oh how I wish decluttering was one and done 😭

I can’t really think of a power of three so all I’m thinking about next is trying to declutter a big box of papers. I’m sure I can get rid of some, and others I can at least sort into categories (some for DH to look at as he’s far better with financial stuff than me)

For once I actually have “What’s for dinner?” sorted - leftover Nando’s chicken, will get Cagletini to help chop veg and do a stir fry with rice.

Redsquirrel5 · 22/01/2022 14:44

SC don’t listen to the fat fairy telling you about swish and swipe then. I didn’t get as far as the toilet. I am looking for quick fixes but if her quick fix is to carefully get out of bed so you don’t have to make the bed I don’t think I will bother. I was looking for motivation I ended up losing the will!

So just posting as halfway through list. Under the bed takes ages but I found space in one box and put summer clothes in so now space in drawers. Second box found four rolled neck skivvies of three colours so took them out to wear and probably won’t have spare room. Hmm!

Hills I like that idea about listing jobs ( I do make lists but just cross them out) one and done sounds more satisfying.Found a hardly used notebook and have started list. Thank you. It is in bedside draw so easy to check.
I have a lot to do in this room but no point until builder comes back to point the two walls outside as wallpaper is mottled just now. In the meantime I plan to list other jobs to complete the other rooms like the hall still needs door curtain and two shades. I was hoping for new carpet but DH says no. I don’t want to pay for all of it.
Right back to the dust bunnies. Oh I do think I have company. Hopefully under the floorboards and hope it is only a mouse. I do not like livestock in my house.

Frankie is there any way that you could take the dog back not ideal but your children must come first. Did they fail to tell you anything? Sorry it hasn’t worked out.

frankiefirstyear · 22/01/2022 15:33

Red I've explained our issues but they want me to give it a little more time for him to settle down. I hope someone else with a more suitable home/lifestyle will enquire about him so he has a home to go to rather than back to the kennels 💔

Despite all the upheaval here I'm managing to stay on top of housework, just!

HillsBesideTheSea · 22/01/2022 16:01

Sing one and done is not one step tasks, it is tasks that you do once and then don't have to do for a long time. eg light bulb changing, booking MOT, etc Often these jobs will have a few steps but you can add them as the subtasks and make the task the header for a few steps.

Frankie sorry the dog adoption is not as you would have hoped

Swallowed i was slow to get going and the only thing i have achieved today is to take a walk and have gone to bed and anything that gets done with be from there with the exception of ham egg chips tea Sometimes it is exactly what we need and falls under the category of self care, and we need to remember this rather than tell ourselves we are being lazy.

Red house guests do not sound found - especially under the floor boards.

SC they do say that if you want something done, ask a busy person. I know that the busier I am the more productive i am on the stuff i always have to do. Less wiggle room to procrastinate.

Up glad you found your appointment letter

ta da
get far too little sleep
take a long walk
put the world to rights
read

I think that my next thing might be to take a nap. I has the tireds.

OP posts:
SingToTheSky · 22/01/2022 16:08

Ah thanks for clarifying hills tbh I possibly could have added more to my list then. But I’ve left off anything that felt too intimidating and multistep IYSWIM. Figured I’d get the mostly easy stuff out of the way first… will see how that goes! Theoretically most of it should be doable in the next few days.

Got a mega headache, sorting the paper work has been horrible. Going to file what I can and then rest.

HillsBesideTheSea · 22/01/2022 16:33

That seems a sensible thing to do Sing it is really about figuring out tips, tricks, systems, habits, and actions that help us as an individual with a unique approach to life.

OP posts:
Redsquirrel5 · 22/01/2022 18:51

I put window sills on my list. Kitchen was sorted by wonderful kitchen people. We had a sill lower than the worktop.They cut worktop with sink hole in one piece so that it went into the window. Brilliant. It has DD’s plants on it just now but I claim it back in spring.

Bathroom sill is in middle of walk in shower. So was tiled into like before.
So that leaves 3 bedrooms and dining room and sitting room. Need sanding then painting. Spring job. They are not very long or wide just haven’t been done for ages.

That would be good Frankie the trouble with rescue dogs and cats is you are potentially taking on a problem possibly created by another human.

Sing I agree sometimes it is quicker to tackle the easy things and get them done and out of the way. Then you can plan and tackle the bigger jobs. Only trouble is you may still find easy chores and procrastinate and leave the difficult jobs.

I have found some floor space. I am now going to pull everything into one area near the door and try and sort, store and put away what is left. Some will need to go out. It has been a slow process today but I am not exhausted by it and can see a chink of light in the tunnel.

Food needs to be made.

SingToTheSky · 22/01/2022 19:18

Well done red progress is progress! That’s one of the things that came up in Atomic Habits today actually, something we have discussed on here before that it’s better to do a tiny bit of something than none!

Also there was a chapter on habit tracking which at first I thought would be a bit pointless (as I’ve mentioned upthread, they don’t really work well for me) but it was still interesting and he made a good point about knowing what to track, when the measuring becomes the focus instead of the actual habit etc.

Frankie so sorry the dog isn’t a good fit, that must be so hard :( you’ve done amazingly to keep up with house stuff!

OU course is approaching quickly. For such a long time it’s been “someday” or “next year” and now suddenly I have a fortnight to go! I got my first email from the tutor, he seems nice and approachable. I’m planning to start the work on Monday to get a little head start, but not sure if I’ll focus on the actual textbook or the extra printed materials they sent (as a reasonable adjustment) which seem to be more about how the course is structured, how to submit assignments etc. I also need to check out the forum etc.

DH asked earlier if I was going to have set times and days, I’m not sure yet and I don’t think a strict timetable is going to work (especially around my job) but I do need to have some times set aside. Preferably going elsewhere at least once a week to avoid distractions!

frankiefirstyear · 23/01/2022 00:15

Going to start a one and done. My gloss needs doing, all just been done once. Should it always be sanded down prior to glossing or just gloss over?! Is that where the term 'gloss over it' comes from 🤔

Ladyrattles · 23/01/2022 01:12

Red glad your can see light at the end of the tunnel. Hope you get some warm days to open the windows & gloss.

Sing it's going to be exciting to start your OU course. I'd be itching to dive into the material too.

Frankie sorry to hear about the dog, hope they are able to find a better fit for him.

Stillup mmmm Magnum for breakfast, that actually sounds really nice. My lot wolf all the icecreams so there's never any when I remember to have one

Swallowed how was IKEA? Did you get anything good?

Hazel frosted brownies sounds heavenly mmmm. I making myself hungry lol

Ta Da had a good night sleep (after not sleeping the previous night), did a big Tesco food shop. Took kiddo for his booster jab. Watched Eternals with DH & kids. Cooked a healthy dinner. Organised a meet up with friends. Spent 2hrs on the Dunelm website trying to choose sale cushions 😂

Redsquirrel5 · 23/01/2022 01:13

Should be sanded first to give a key to adhere to I think. Yes, that is what I did with the new door last year. Two coats of primer lightly sanded between and then again before gloss and second coat of gloss. I was guided by a friend who was a painter and decorator.

Just finished my book tonight. The room looks better, not finished but better. The clothes didn’t take up as much room as I thought so I still have a little space waiting for the ironing. I feel I have achieved quite a lot today and moved on with a better mindset. I just need to feet it finished and keep on top of it. If I can do that with most of the rooms I think I will manage better. The trouble is I get distracted and spring is coming...gardening.😃

Redsquirrel5 · 23/01/2022 01:16

Waves to Lady.👋

Tempted to go and look at cushions now. I have enough I must not go there.

SingToTheSky · 23/01/2022 07:24

I’d definitely sand before glossing, and assuming you’re talking about things like doors and skirting boards I’d then wash with sugar soap too which gets all the dust off.

Might have a regular pupil visiting here from next month, not entirely sure why I agreed to this given it’s yet another thing to fit in, but money wise it will be worth it. It’ll certainly force us to make sure the house stays tidier, especially the hallway and living room (where the piano is) and I suppose the landing and bathroom too. Aaargh.

I’m the first one up again, I hope I can have a productive day later but pain is a bit on the high side now. Going to try and get through more of my list of OaD today - think I got 8 out of 30 fully done yesterday and made a start on another few so not bad at all really. But of course also need to continue proper decluttering, and the living room Kallax and windowsills are a total mess which would be embarrassing to let pupils and their parents see!

SingToTheSky · 23/01/2022 08:35

YesTaDa
🛼LOL into dryer
🛼went through rolling to do list and extracted short tasks
🛼ordered some stuff
🛼messaged some people
🛼ipsos mori phone survey
🛼sorted lots of paperwork (some filed some recycled)
🛼audiobook
🛼study book order, including getting friend’s order/payment for hers
🛼cooked dinner with Cagletini

Lots I should be doing today… argh!

HillsBesideTheSea · 23/01/2022 13:23

Lots that should be done here too.
BUT. the stress and associated lack of sleep has caught up with me. And i have crashed. My fibro is flaring.
Which is a problem. So i am treating myself to a fry up breakfast (not long woken up) and a gentle start to the day. In the hope that i can be productive for longer later as a result.

TO DO
file paperwork -financial, car, ds school, ds health, my health, student loan, figure out how to file/store memory stuff
lift bed
remove wax that dripped behind radiator
hoover
replace bed
make bed up with clean bedding
cook tea - or at least set it up so it can be delegated
tidy landing
deal with grill pans that were put in to soak

urgh most of that list is simply I. don't. want. to....

But first fry up breakie. that I can do, and will enjoy.

OP posts:
StillUp · 23/01/2022 13:46

Ooh I want a fry up now! Hope it helps Hills.

Not long at all before OU course starts Sing, very exciting after all the planning for it.

We are all dressed and we’ve eaten. I’ve done some laundry, made the beds and set the DW off. Write a shopping list and sent DH to the supermarket. That is all. Going to head out for a family walk this afternoon. DD2 has only experienced the school run so far, so we are going to have a wander round the harbour and to the park. Not that it matters where we go as the plan is she sleeps for most of it!

swallowedAfly · 23/01/2022 16:06

Sorry but selfishly glad to hear I wasn't the only one lacking mojo yesterday. And thanks Hills for the reframe to 'self care'. It definitely was needed.

Ikea didn't happen as the item I was going for was out of stock when I last minute checked.

Today has been mostly a bed day too but I have gotten a lot done from the control centre of my universe. Lots of forward planning for work and some proper headway on one of my targets for the year. I did get up and make ds pancakes this morning and am about to remind him that he is meant to have emptied and reloaded the dw as trade for spending my money yesterday and me ordering fish and chips for tonight.

At the minute weekends seem to be mostly about being horizontal but if that means surviving January without a crash into total can't function fatigue or depression then so be it. Hopefully energy levels will rise soon.

HazelNuttyElf · 23/01/2022 16:08

Sing you've been very productive! Try not to overdo it, do a little at a time.
hills lifting the bed etc sounds like you could do with a 2nd person helping you, please say someone is there to help you!
Up looks like you've had a productive morning, your afternoon sounds perfect, even if DD2 does sleep through it all
Frankie that reminds me that I have more sanding and painting to do, now that Christmas is over.

YesTaDas:
🛍 planned meals for the week (including writing them in my planner & putting the list on the fridge)
🛍 created grocery list
🛍 scheduled grocery pick up
🛍 went bulk shopping in bigger town 35 minutes away
🛍 put bulk groceries away
🛍 picked up groceries & went in for a couple things I couldn't get at Costco
🛍 made ranch dressing for dinner per FIL request (he was making dinner for us, it was supposed to be our turn)
🛍 went to ILs for dinner, picking up SIL on the way (and could finally give her the small pet carrier I have been trying to give her for the last 3 or 4 months!)

To do today:
☕ drink my 2nd cup of coffee! (Very important if no one wants to die today)
☕ cook DH breakfasts for the week (egg scramble type thing, that he just takes some out, warms it on a plate) only takes about 10-15 minutes to make
☕ cook casserole that will be our lunches for the week
☕ prep dinner for tomorrow, will chop the veggies etc and put it all in a bag, so I can dump it into the slow cooker in the morning before I leave for work
☕ start on my one and done list, writing it all down & see if there's anything we can do today
☕ RELAX at some point

Hopefully I'll be back on with some ta das soon 🍒👋 to everyone

swallowedAfly · 23/01/2022 16:08

Meant to say I hope the fry up hit the spot Hills and sorry you're having a flare.

Also still haven't done a one and done list - I suspect it's because I'm worried it might be 50 pages long. Will try and do it this week - avoiding doesn't help.

HazelNuttyElf · 23/01/2022 16:10

fly 💐 for you. If staying in bed is what you need to do, so be it! Take care of yourself

swallowedAfly · 23/01/2022 16:16

Thank you Hazel well done for yestadas and good luck with today todos.

merryhouse · 23/01/2022 16:53

TaDa
sent agenda and papers to pcc members

Only a week late (meeting is tomorrow Blush). The whole thing took just over an hour, too. Why do I do this to myself? I've just wasted a fortnight because of an easy not-unpleasant 60-minute job.

Ho hum.

Lost some more weight (only a little). Spent some time googling spontaneous expulsion of fibroids. Not particularly helpful.