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This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

824 replies

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 16:54

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

  1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)
  1. Goals vs system.
We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.
  1. You are never behind.
You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

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HazelNuttyElf · 23/01/2022 17:01

Ta Das so far:
😇 2nd cup of coffee drank
😇 DH breakfast made
😇 flylady app checked to see what zone we are in etc

merry procrastination is a real thing, I often dread having to do certain things, but once they are done it's a relief. Sometimes I just don't want to adult!

I still need to get dressed, I guess I should have added that to my to do list, but going to do that now. I find getting dressed really does help to motivate me to get things done, even if it's just leggings and a comfy top

swallowedAfly · 23/01/2022 17:36

It's meaning is so poignant as well: prolonging the pain. It really does.

I'm inclined to think if you know you're not going to do something today then it's best to accept that and move on rather than waste mental energy and potential to actually feel ok on worrying about it and pretending to try and make yourself do it.

Obviously can't take that too far otherwise I might never move again until they come to forcibly evict me from my bed.

HazelNuttyElf · 23/01/2022 19:15

Just stopping in with more ta das:
🐧 got dressed (leggings & comfy top)
🐧 self care: scrubbed my face, used a soft flannel afterwards, followed by face serum and eye cream. Did not put makeup on today. Pulled my hair away from my face, used lip oil as well (lips were starting to crack this morning)
🐧 rotated DW
🐧 handwash dishes washed (been there a few days 😳), dried & put away
🐧 countertops wiped down
🐧 DH put up coat rack & key rack by the door, so now we don't have to hang our coats on our dining room chairs (had the racks a few months already!)
🐧 rearranged the shoe rack slightly so more shoes can fit
🐧 rearranged cheese in tubs in the fridge so they fit better
🐧 threw away some oranges that went bad

Currently sitting down with a glass of water, it's about lunchtime now (12:15pm), which are leftovers from dinner last night

HillsBesideTheSea · 23/01/2022 19:32

rather than waste mental energy and potential to actually feel ok on worrying about it and pretending to try and make yourself do it. that basically sums out how my day has gone Hmm

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MrsTidyHouse · 23/01/2022 22:43

I got slower and slower doing the absolute minimum over the past week or so, then got a phone appt with Practice Nurse. She prescribed antibiotics, and things are a bit better today. Hadn't realised just how much I'd gone downhill. Also sad about Meat Loaf.

Now tackling mounds of clothes, hoovering, abandoned supermarket delivery in futility room. Enjoying the new-to-me phone I got myself for Christmas.

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 23/01/2022 22:46

Yestada:
❤️ Finally put bedding away from Christmas and cleared the spare bedroom of extraneous duvets, Christmas wrapping paper etc
🧡 Made stilton and broccoli soup

Spent the rest of the day in bed / asleep on the sofa.

Ta da:
❤️ Dog walk
🧡 Tip run
💛 Charity shop drop
💚 Hot date with DH at Homebase, followed by B&Q. Oh boy, does he know how to show a girl a good time!
💙 Painted some tester splodges squares in the spare bedroom and the study
💜 Started making a list of what needs doing - the whole of both those rooms needs doing properly, ceiling to skirtings, including doors. Also I think I might paint the study shelves to match the walls.
❤️ Wrote another list of what needs doing to finish our bedroom which stopped abruptly in August. Some white paint needs repairing and all the gloss work again ...
🧡 Saw DS2, who popped round
💛 2 x LOL washed and dried
💚 Did a bit of Bullet Journal stuff. Not very good.
💙 Produced roast pork with braised cabbage, cauliflower cheese, mashed swede, roasted carrots and potatoes and DD's Epic Gravy. DS2 made apple crumble. 😋
💜 Shepherded DS3 to bed
❤️ DLMS with DH when he WhatsApp'd at 9.45pm to say he thought we needed to do a Tesco order, what should go on the list? My brain is offline by then!

Sorry for lack of personals, brain won't go. Will try again tomorrow. 🍒👋

frankiefirstyear · 23/01/2022 23:10

Tidy I've been sad about Meat Loaf too, the news came like A Bat Out Of Hell.
Seriously though, very sad Thanks

swallowedAfly · 23/01/2022 23:34

Well done Wassailing.

Hope ABs continue to help MrsT.

Possibly due to other conditions but if I have any kind of infection I am hit by exhaustion and worry that I'm plummeting into full on depression well before I have any localised pain or symptoms of the infection itms. Took me a long time to notice that. I've ignored terrible respiratory infections in the past thinking I was just falling into major depression and completely overlooking the physical symptoms and assuming it was part of the former. Might stem from a period in my past where anything physical wrong with me would be blamed on mental health or stress by doctors rather than investigated and me maybe internalising that.

I've had to put on a last minute lol on a quick wash and dry programme because I had foolishly taken the contents of the laundry basket as an indicator of what needed washing only for ds to 'confront' me with the fact he has no clean shirts for tomorrow - cue telling him to go and bloody locate the dirty ones for me to wash. Also a big nag about the fact he's meant to have emptied and reloaded the dw but hadn't.

Interestingly he's gone on to actually do that and then come to say goodnight and tell me he loves me and say thank you, upon questioning what he was thanking me for it was apparently for err, everything basically Smile

Need to wake up early and hang washing out to de-crease and air in time for ds going to school and do marking and other bits and bobs before work. Would also like to clean sink and clear sides and wipe them down as part of being ready for the cat groomers visit on Tuesday (other people in my house aargh!!!!). I will in no way be ready and fully expect Tuesday morning will be full on panic mode. She's not coming till midday thankfully.

One day I may have a house that doesn't require me to have a panic attack when someone is due to visit.

SingToTheSky · 23/01/2022 23:58

ta da
🔨made arrangements re new piano pupils
🔨delegated some DIY to DH
🔨found a bag for some work stuff that he’d sorted yesterday, so it’s now all in one place
🔨cancelled most subscribe and save things on Amazon
🔨craft kit with Cagletini
🔨had a proper look at OU stuff and emailed tutor

🔨put some pictures up along the stairs
🔨booked all tutorials for the course (feb-sept), put in diary and made a list on my phone with all tutorial and assignment dates

Somewhat flagged after that, feel a bit flat now

SingToTheSky · 24/01/2022 00:13

I already feel the week is off to a bad start as I didn’t do the things I should to get ready for it

Must try and sleep now Hmm

Ladyrattles · 24/01/2022 01:44

I've decided to give myself some slack that there will be weeks I'm not able to complete all the tasks due to my health. I did have a 10min energy spurt at 9pm and managed to clear some missed jobs.

I never did decide on the sale cushions. In our house various people are triggered by patterns, stripes, colours, textures & feathers so it's a difficult task. All the ones I already bought were given the big thumbs down. Maybe I should give up and have all grey ones lol.

I hope everyone has a good start to the new week.

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 24/01/2022 07:58

This week is brought to you via the Wassail house using the words Nope, Shan't and I Don't Want To.

I am exhausted already and it's an insane week of work commitments for DH plus travelling to take FIL to the Memory Clinic follow up, I'm going back to the Hospice to see my friend, DD suddenly needs picking up from school most days if she is going to be physically able to walk the dog (an hour's round trip for a school two miles away), DS2 needs help with getting things from DM's house to his (totally opposite directions from us, no handy cut through on the third side of the triangle), and is coming here to batch cook after he's shopped as we have working gas rings and a reliable oven in a kitchen you can turn round in.

Starting with tea.

HillsBesideTheSea · 24/01/2022 08:26

Good morning.

So Home bluergh has come back around. It's Monday
Babystep is: swish and swipe - actually quite a useful one Link
Launch pad is here

Thinking point - how to make chores fun, which may help with getting kids or adults to do chores. Sorry ED it is a video but it is a short video.

Video aside, how do you convince yourself that chores are not a chore but are actually enjoyable/satisfying/etc etc it's early words are hard ?

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HillsBesideTheSea · 24/01/2022 08:28

Bad life choices mean that not only did i not get done what needed to be done for this morning, but i am also sore, tired and meh feeling. Late night coffee is a bad plan.

Ta da
1 load of washing hung up
1 load of washing in the dryer
1 load of hand washing in sink soaking
1st load of washing in the washing machine
milk etc brought in
move some stuff around so door to lounge can be closed when workman are here.

Need to get up which is proving hard because i sat down Hmm

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HillsBesideTheSea · 24/01/2022 08:43

Good luck wassailling it is a similar kinda week here. Starting with the builders Hmm

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SingToTheSky · 24/01/2022 09:46

Felt like a slow start for me as I was awake at 6.30 but don’t feel I’ve done much and yet again couldn’t get DD1 up for school. She was in tears about her wrist - the pain is worse since the pin was removed as she’s trying to get mobility back. Apparently school don’t let pupils go home unless at death’s door so the idea of going and asking to be sent home if the pain got worse was a non starter. DH has rung the school but I expect the HOY will ring if this continues.

We’ve watched the first of the 2021 Christmas lectures though, and I folded laundry during it. DD1 is now doing history, DS is about to do maths.

prettygirlincrimsonrose · 24/01/2022 10:01

I know its a few weeks into January and I was wondering if I could join.

I don't completely follow Fly Lady but I've been reading the thread and I'm finding the points of discussion really interesting. I've been trying to get into some habits, and this week we've actually been sticking to an evening meal at about 6, bath and bed for two little ones and then tidying downstairs and putting on dishwasher, washing up, wiping the sides and sweeping the floor before having a bit of time for tv or a board game. I've always really struggled with this stuff so whats sort of enjoyable about it for me is that its helping me with providing evidence for a bit of an identity shift from someone who's lazy to someone who makes a plan and sticks to it (like some of you, I've been reading Atomic Habits).

Anyway this seems like a really friendly thread and it would be great to hang out here.

Ta da

  • Shower before the kids woke up
  • Quick bathroom clean
  • DS off to nursery with nobody upset or cross
  • Dishwasher emptied

To do

  • Donate some clothes and books
  • Load of washing
  • Sort out the fridge

Last couple of weeks of maternity leave and I'm really nervous about managing to vaguely keep on top of things with work as well, especially as there's also loads of decluttering to do. But making the most of it today by meeting a friend for coffee and a walk.

SingToTheSky · 24/01/2022 10:30

Hi pretty of course you can join us! This is a friendly corner of MN :)

It’s really interesting about the identity shift isn’t it. I’ve had to change my view of myself in the last couple of years and start thinking of myself as capable (and likeable but that’s a whole other thread 😆) and I really need to apply that to my identity as a person in the home IYSWIM - I need to BE someone who looks after their environment better and actually takes pride in their surroundings.

I’ve logged onto work but nothing needs doing currently, so I can get on with starting my OU reading soon, but I am currently lurking in case DS gets stuck on another maths question, and then I think I need to do at least a little decluttering before I’m flagging too much later.

HillsBesideTheSea · 24/01/2022 10:32

Welcome aboard pretty just remember clutter didn't occur over night and it is ok it doesn't vanish over night. Slow and steady progress is often more sustainable hard stares at paperwork explosion in lounge

Managed to reduce stress levels to where can function. so all the things are happening...

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Redsquirrel5 · 24/01/2022 10:41

Welcome they are a friendly bunch I joined and have stayed years.😃still trying to Declutter lots of things are falling into place though and have become routine.

Sunday was Mass, coffee duties, lunch, 1/2 hour me time, choir, tea.

Home bleugh already.😳

Whittling a new pointy stick.

P of 3
Make bed
Put away a basket of laundry.
Dust top of one chest of drawers.

Sitting room isn’t too bad so I am going to combine it with completing the boudoir. One side is tidy, vacuumed and dusted the other is not!
I have put all the baskets that need finding homes for the stuff near the door as in it is going out if it doesn’t find it’s home. Could do with a Bewitched moment.

Feeling a bit crap this morning but I did have a good nights sleep.

swallowedAfly · 24/01/2022 10:58

Welcome Pretty

Tada:
Got ds out of bed, showered and out the door with lunch on time
Walked dog
Put some recycling out
Dw full and on
lol on (which I need to remember to hang out when I get home from work)
Homework set for all groups this week
Remote learning set for students isolating
Bath run.

Now need to jump in and out of the bath and quickly get ready and get to work on time. Pushing it.

StillUp · 24/01/2022 11:04

Hi Pretty! Good to have you with us. I’m currently on maternity leave too, although DD2 is only 3 weeks so I’m pretty much at the start of mine. Have some decluttering and organising etc I want to get done too but it’s slow progress.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling crap Red

Sounds like a difficult week Wassailing. Main aim should be to get through it I think!

YesTaDas:
✅ school uniform for the week ironed
✅ clean clothes put away
✅ started organising DD2’s clothes into pretty baskets in her drawers.
✅ shined sink Halo

TaDas
✅ everyone fed, dressed, school run complete
✅ beds made, s&s
✅ panic tidy of living room for HV visit
✅ arranged some flowers DH brought home with the shopping. yesterday (yellow sticker Grin)
✅ wiped kitchen benches and cupboard fronts as they’d been DH’d
✅ swept kitchen floor
✅ remembered middle of the night order of more storage baskets, kitchen organisers etc. Checked email and I agree with sleep deprived me and I’m embarrassingly excited for their arrival ignores fact still haven’t finished putting the last lot into use

HV has been and I’m now under a hungry baby

HillsBesideTheSea · 24/01/2022 11:18

Ta da
lift bed
hoover
more lol (loads of laundry - normal and handwash)
swap out un-used laundry hamper for a plastic storage unit that became free in some decluttering
collect pile for tip
deal with people
delegate unloading and reloading of DW - currently running
Deal with people wrt allergy control one person, just one person. Does. not. get. it
Ignore the fact that have been called unreasonable yet again.
Warned people (all of them) that tired, and stressed and don't add to it or pick a fight this week because you WILL lose.
Move heated seed starter tray downstairs to tile windowsil as concerned too warm for the new fancy, plasticy feeling windowsils up stairs
delegate some end weaving so i an finally just put some stuff away.

About to reassembly my bed, put clean bedding on, finish dealing with the laundry and then sit down to do some study - ideally need to get 4-6hrs done to catch up to where i want to be.

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HillsBesideTheSea · 24/01/2022 11:21

Oh meant to say I think it was hazel who was concerned it was a 2 person job. Unfortunately it is just a one person job because there is not enough room for 2 people to be in the room. Tiny room, WAAAAY too much furniture. And it is only a single mattress that needs lifting so not the worst thing in the world. Just awkward, annoying and by the looks off the ick I have cleaned up - dust etc. It is going to end up being a quarterly to bimonthly job. But i can combine it with hoovering my mattress that month so it is not the worst thing in the world.

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SingToTheSky · 24/01/2022 11:55

Seem to get tired after doing hardly anything at the moment. Just having a rest, again. Going to read for a bit as I barely started a chapter this morning before the Caglets needed me.

Must try and work on my One and Done list too though - having finished consulting with DD1 about a science topic list, I am halfway through.

This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach
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