Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

824 replies

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 16:54

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

  1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)
  1. Goals vs system.
We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.
  1. You are never behind.
You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 11/01/2022 12:52

Thanks Hills I'll have a look at those in a bit.

Hope panic is subsiding Fly, it's horrid when that happens.

Ta da
❤️ Tax return completed
🧡 Rescued DD from school (forgot meds, wheels came off)
💛 Received LFTs to backfill the school ones the rest of us pinched from DD
💚 Ticked some things off the braindump list
💙 Lol x 2
💜 Got dinner out of freezer.

Just eating leftover steak and mushrooms to clear fridge, then going to have to close my eyes for a bit. The dog has had me up overnight every night for at least a fortnight and I'm shattered.

SingToTheSky · 11/01/2022 13:22

Fly 💐

I really need to get moving off the sofa. Have been distracted by an Interesting But Slightly Concerning Work Issue 🤔 but have maths at 1 so seriously need to prepare. I’d hoped my computer’s internet issues would be magically fixed by now but DS didn’t even manage a full Duolingo session yesterday, it seems to have got even worse! So now I’m needing to use less interesting resources and the motivation to find them isn’t there. Gah.

Ladyrattles · 11/01/2022 16:30

Spent till 2am with an upset tummy so was expecting to be rough today... but I woke up motivated and not only cleaned the washing machine & dishwasher but mopped all the downstairs floors and washed the kitchen bin.

Tried to get some writing done too but DH was on a very loud conference call all afternoon and I constantly got disturbed by teenagers, pets, landscapers, and the front door. On the bright side... the builders are finally giving us a garden after 3mths of getting the keys.

Ladyrattles · 11/01/2022 16:31

Fly how did it go with the boiler visitor?

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 11/01/2022 20:41

Sorry you weren't feeling well, Ladyrattles but great that this morning was full of vim and vigour.

My "just close my eyes for a moment" turned out to be a three hour nap. I think my body had noticed I've finished the steroids. Not really achieved anything else except a sudden tesco trip - no fishfingers or chicken nuggets anywhere in the house - and getting everyone fed something involving protein and vegetables. I am now back in bed and will shortly be asleep, pending silencing That Ridiculous Owl.

HillsBesideTheSea · 11/01/2022 20:52

Oh fuck. I forgot about the dang owl. twatty insistant thing that he is.

Shit day here. Never made it out of bed, took too many naps, spent too many hours aimlessly scrolling/watching videos. Burnt the tea which was also an hour and half late.

BUT it hurts to breathe, my joints are swollen, there was emotional drama yesterday, and I haven't been sleeping well. There was nothing other than washing up and laundry needed to be done and it will wait.
But tomorrow is busy, and involves all the things and I need to be out of the house before 9am.

Links shortly.

Also I will explain the 2 list system better as it just looks totally overwhelming and pointless without the full context.

OP posts:
HillsBesideTheSea · 11/01/2022 20:58

Just for anyone who is not aware, the owl which we are referring is the duolingo owl

OP posts:
HillsBesideTheSea · 11/01/2022 21:01

12th Jan

Babystep: delete fly lady emails and make use of email tools to stay organised
Launch pad: is here
antiprocrastination day.

OP posts:
merryhouse · 11/01/2022 21:34

That doesn't sound pleasant Hills.

I did too much plank in yesterday's exercise class and the bit round my ribs HURTS. (Dunno why I have such a problem with plank nobody else seems to)

Hope "maths at 1" was a typo Sing? - unless your internet is so bad it took an hour to post Wink

Rob is box-setting NCIS among other things, and a couple of days ago River Song randomly turned up Grin

lol, reds
put new covers on our bedding almost immediately, go me
made bed
made toad in the hole
rang Cambridge and Norwich, as well as some good Stedman and my fave Double Oxford

Have lost the couple of extra kg, quite possibly in blood [TMI deleted]

SingToTheSky · 11/01/2022 23:09

Oh yes it was 2pm 🤣 often had lessons at 1 so got confused, luckily we both turned up at the correct time 😁🏆

Bloody hell I am tired. Have set non sleeping Caglets on sorting the pen box

SingToTheSky · 12/01/2022 00:08

ta da
💡staff meeting
💡bit of work on the laptop
💡taught 1hr maths lesson
💡emailed DD1’s English teacher
💡got Caglets to sort pens and pencils and started decluttering them a bit
💡booked tesco slot although quickly handed it over to DH

Shattered. Night all

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 12/01/2022 07:57

Fell asleep before I could deal with the owl, dammit.

HillsBesideTheSea · 12/01/2022 08:18

Streak freeze? Wassailing ?

i do not want to. Everything is still bad today. Stupid bastarding fruit jelly sweets. I need to remember that it is NEVER worth it. i will forget because they are my favourites Going to be a few more days another week or so of this crap Going to make sure to disappear them well.

Anyhow today is looking like:
Dentist
Errand run
ring bank - abroad so anxiety inducing
tame the kitchen
2 hrs of study
1 hr meeting
hope the chicken has defrosted
cook said chicken
provide food for the people before their meeting
photo copy some stuffs
tame the 2 drawers needed to finish sorting clothes storage

And if i get around to it - ironing, put all clothes away. And deal with random bag of clothes found in storage in the loft that is now in a bloody annoying place on the landing. I also need to make sure that I actually reach my 5k steps today as well. A bad day and I struggle to make 1k. A study day and i struggle to make 3k atm. Obvious when we hit the equinox and the affects of the extra daylight are really felt that is going to be easier. But right now 7pm hits and I want to hibernate!

OP posts:
SingToTheSky · 12/01/2022 09:16

Morning. Today is sponsored by the word Nope.

StillUp · 12/01/2022 09:26

Ah I caught up with the thread last night and had lots of personals, but fell asleep before posting and now they are all gone from my brain Sad

Thanks for the video links Hills. I am definitely guilty of underestimating how long things take, although I am getting better at lowering my expectations of myself and not trying to do it all every day. I quite liked ‘The Organised Time Technique’ book which has similar ideas to in the video links. I now try and make sure I do a little bit of everything through the week - housework, decluttering/other house projects, exercise, socialising, family time, me time/self-care. I had a rough schedule of fitting all of it on when I was working but it’s all gone a bit to pot on mat leave. I’m sure we’ll get into a routine though. I’m giving myself January as laid back recovery time then come February I’m aiming to get back on the flying wagon properly, start thinking of getting back into shape etc.

Few ta Das to add:
🛀 have been doing s&s x 2 the last few mornings
🛀 did a bit of tidying of bathroom
🛌 stripped bedding (baby sick incident) and got DH to put the clean bedding on
🛌 tidied boudoir including some hot spots
👶 did a bit more sorting in baby’s room having just piled up gifts on the doorway initially
📔 added various appointments etc to planner

To do:
⭕️ Sort tiny baby clothes and swap for newborn size as DD2 has outgrown the smaller things we had to panic buy Sad
⭕️ HV appointment this afternoon

SingToTheSky · 12/01/2022 10:10

Glad you aren’t pushing yourself in January Still! It is often forgotten that despite being routine a CS is still major surgery! I love the idea of doing a little bit of everything. I think that suits me better than trying to go all in with one project and burning out. That just leads to me stopping everything!

Determined to actually get moving now. A couple of friends have arranged a little social meet for our boys (and us mums TBH), so need to get DS doing a bit of HE before that really. He can do some more after, we need to be back in time for a work meeting anyway. Hoping I don’t get too cold as I’m achy already.

po3.1
❗️Some admin on phone - order meds, pay tap invoice, move money to savings
❗️Maths and English with DS
❗️Write a list of what I need to order soon

Redsquirrel5 · 12/01/2022 12:18

Another phone call appointment. At least it is with my own GP. Apparently they then decide if a face to face appointment is needed. At least it isn’t the receptionist that decides but apparently we can no longer state that we need a face to face (well actually a hands on is what I need) appointment. At least she was pleasant and I didn’t get the rude, I know everything,I’m not listening to anything you say because I am in charge receptionist!

Sing I love your first post it made me laugh and is just how I feel.

Hills read some last night and I was thinking ‘ well I rather like hearing the owls, I find them quite comforting.’ We have at least two Tawny and one or more Little Owls near here and the more silent Barn Owls which give you a fright when driving and they swoop into the windscreen with just enough time to pull out.

Going to start some housework.
✅Did get some of home bleugh done yesterday. Gathered the left out Christmas stuff and put at bottom of stairs so DH can put it in a box in the loft.
✅Tidy the dining table, cleaned and reset Christmas crockery. ✅Dumped candlesticks on the table which need cleaned.
✅ sorted some random stuff into recycling, putting away and now only small pile of BCR.

Noted to self what needs doing in dining room today. Bathroom is ok except I need to cleaned shower drain🤮 and wash floor.

✅Vacuumed all downstairs.
✅ Made lemon sole, new potatoes and veg. Trying to get DH back into some menu routine so it helps me. Making sure I have Weetabix or porridge every morning even if I don’t feel like breakfast.
✅Went to bed at decent time

Up very sensible. CS takes at least 6 weeks( 6 months in my case and not great now as too tight stitching) to recover and you have a new small person to look after. Good to here DD1 is helpful. They are great for running for things forgotten due to baby brain.

Wassailing your body took over and said YOU need rest.

Lady hope you have recovered.
Have you discovered Beamish yet? Fantastic day out. Although it is cold at the moment a visit in Winter means you can get around and view things easier. Lovely in the summer I did some School Trips 😳 with two buses and three classes and dressed in Victorian costumes but ooh the crowds and trying to explain to some German/ Dutch visitors that we were not part of Beamish and they were not to photograph the children when there is a language barrier is not easy. The weather was fantastic twice and we picnicked in the Bandstand area. It is not a cheap dayout but worth the money and I would say don’t try to do it all in one day. Spend time and know that you can return another time. Oh and the steam train isn’t always running.
Alnwick castle and grounds again a two day visit. Busy as Harry Potter was filmed there. Gardens are great on a hot day and a yurt craft tent available for small people ( and nosy big people) to participate.

Will watch that later Hills thanks.

Merry oh Toad in the Hole is a good idea. I have Cumberland Sausage and plenty of oat milk😄

Right I have just procrastinated for 1/2 hour. I have a LOL on the floor tossed out of laundry bin to take down. Wish the Fat Fairy wouldn’t go on about her laundry room so much some of us just have a washing machine in the kitchen.

I have a pile of ironing to do if DH has gone to get the ironing board for me. It now lives in the shed.

🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋 to everyone I have missed and those peeping in. I am starting to feel a bit more awake.

HillsBesideTheSea · 12/01/2022 12:57

The universe hates me. First I am being forced to sort all the paperwork to make sure I have all the financial stuff to hand. NOW i have to sort all the paperwork AND filing cabinet to look for a report on DS.

Needless to say I have feelings and am sulking.

OP posts:
HillsBesideTheSea · 12/01/2022 13:13

Red a laundry room is just another room that gets really messy and requires cleaning. And because it is not in front of you ie an out of sight out of mind room - gets out of control really quickly because people just dump things there. Laundry rooms are over rated!

OP posts:
Ladyrattles · 12/01/2022 16:28

Thanks for the suggestions Red. I love Alnwick Castle. DH lived in Alnwick until he was 10, so he took us up to visit when the kids were toddlers. We do need to go back now they've grown up. Someone told me Beamish has a lot closed at the moment so we are putting that on hold till later in the year.

Not done any new cleaning areas today, just pottered in between working on my computer.

frankiefirstyear · 12/01/2022 19:25

Distraction number 3 I’ve found to be things lurking in hideaway places so one can easily close the door on the chaos for an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ experience 😬 so let the cupboard/toy box/kallax storage box/bed drawers cleansing commence 😩. One bed drawer and one storage box gone through today and half a black bin bag of clothes ready to go to charity 😁, not much to show for 6 hours child free but had to baseline the house too, and spent at least an hour trolling through the dog rescues - off to a rescue centre tomorrow to view two dogs that are much older and totally different breeds/size to what I’m after 🙈

SingToTheSky · 12/01/2022 19:37

I often envy those with utility rooms hills but I have a feeling it would indeed just end up as a total mess that I could shut the door on!

It was lovely to meet friends today, had a nice chat. I’m gutted now though because despite it not being that cold I am now full of joint pain again. FFS.

po3.2
❗️Find out if coffee morning for local charity is still on tomorrow
❗️Sort at least one pen/pencil drawer properly
❗️Plan tomorrow’s maths lesson

HillsBesideTheSea · 12/01/2022 20:05

Today has been a day and i am pretty certain i have only just managed to get half of the to do list. I am tired and cranky and have a day of paperwork tomo. So forgive the briefness.

Launch pad
baby step: do a mission
thursday is errands

OP posts:
IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 12/01/2022 21:37

I have survived to the end of the day!
Ta da:
❤️ Dog walk
🧡 Morning routine things
💛 Breakfast
💚 Phone call 10-11
💙 Notes from phone call
💜 2hrs fossicking (technical term) through parish records 1650-1814. Still can't find this blasted family who vanish from a village in 1702, only to return in 1751 and keep going as if nothing had occurred!
❤️ Phone call with anti-coagulation Dr who had not read my notes and said I was coming off blood thinners whatever. We will see if my cardiologist agrees with him (currently, he does not)!
🧡 Took DS3 to tennis, back round to collect DD, dropped her at home, back to tennis to collect now-frozen DS3
💛 Takeaway pizza for tea due to procurement issues with basics like oil, garlic etc. Makes cooking hard.
💚 Helped DH deal with FIL who is now driving without insurance but "doesn't need insurance anyway because he's a safe driver" ! 🤬 May need to go up there and take the keys at the weekend.
💙 Booked Tesco slot and slung most of a shop in the basket (not two large bottles of whiskey à la Sing!)

Red you are quite right that my body sent me to rest. I need to listen carefully to that.

Up glad you are taking January as resting time. Overdoing it after even a planned C-section is a bad thing.

Hills good luck with both filing and feelings. Sing, hope you have not rusted solid in the cold.

frankiefirstyear · 12/01/2022 22:41

Wassailing you sound like you have such interesting days - fossicking for an absconding family sounds fascinating!