University packing lists including condoms: is this now standard advice?

[Maybeshesbornwithitmaybeitssertraline]

My ds2 has got his essential packing list for university, including condoms. I know, better to do it safely than not but really?

When I was 18 you only needed condoms if you were in a long term relationship. Is it so different these days?

I'll admit that I'm struggling with the idea that my 18 year old us old enough to go to university so the idea of him needing condoms as well is a bit out of my comfort zone.

You do realise it's 2026? Teenagers have been having sex without being in a LTR for decades.

Why would you only need condoms in a long term relationship?

Of course every fresher should have a packet of condoms. Surely everyone wants their kids to be safe?

Yes! At 18 surely this has been discussed over the years? And with your eldest?

Is this an item on the official list given by the residence hall? Did they specify a quantity? Women should really use lube each time due to microtears—was this on the list too?

I started university over 30 years ago and I’m sure condoms featured in packing lists then. Isn’t that one of the points of condoms that you use them if you have sex which may or may not be in a long term relationship?

Why would you only need condoms if in a long term relationship? Is there no risk of STIs or pregnancy if you have casual sex then?

Women don't need lube every time! 😀

Gay men need it more than women do.

I made sure my son had access to condoms from age 16 in 2003, not encouraging anything, but just in case.

I'm 60 and find your attitude incredibly old fashioned. People have sex outside of long term relationships. It's been socially acceptable right back to the 1980's.

Has it crossed your mind that he may be already?

Better than nappies isnt it?

I mean would you rather they came back with fewer condoms or an STD?

The vast majority will have casual sex. Many are having casual sex before they go to university.

It’s naive to imagine they’re all prim and proper until after they’re committed to a relationship. Plus if your son is 18 and is relatively good looking I could almost guarantee he’s already had sex.

It was a suggestion when I started Uni many many years ago, so seems reasonable that they are still suggesting them. It's sensible advice!

I am also puzzled by the "only in a long term relationship" comment.

Sounds very sensible to bring condoms.

How old are you op? I have a 17 year old and am late 40's and it was definitely not the case that you only needed condoms in a long term relationship in the 90's. Most people had casual sex at Uni and most of my friends had sexual experience before we were 18. We all went out drinking and clubbing before Uni 18 as well. We read magazines like Company and the "position of the week". Maybe we weren't shaing all this with our parents but it certainly wasn't unusual. The girls in long term relationships opted for The Pill though. Are you much older than me or did you just have a very sheltered upbringing?

This has been a strong recommendation ever since the HIV epidemic in the 80s

When dc1 started university, almost 20 years ago, condoms weren't on the packaging list, however, the student union left a welcome box in every new student's room. The box was full of useful items as well as chocolate, hot chocolate etc. There was also a box of condoms. Tbh, I think it's very sensible to take them rather than 'take a chance' without.

'When I was 18 you only needed condoms if you were in a long term relationship.'

It sounds like when you were 18 you were a bit naive! 😬

Condoms were given out at freshers fair when I was at uni which was 20+ years ago.

OH god. This is triggering. I got temporarily banned from a major US craft site about 20 years ago for suggesting (on their chat forum in an appropriate thread) a box of condoms and bottle of vodka as a "going to college" gift.

The puritanical americans took umbrage that their precious darlings would be having sex and drinking. Don't tell me the UK is regressing too.

(I went to Uni more than 30 years ago. Condoms were suggested even then. Better a box of condoms than an STI or unexpected pregnancy). IME of young adults the alcohol is probably less welcome these days lots of them don't drink a huge amount.

Very sensible. Better to have a condom and not need it than vice versa.

Sorry - deleted as technical glitch meant I double posted

I’m sorry what? I don't know how old you are @Maybeshesbornwithitmaybeitssertraline but when I was 18 condoms were a good idea for 18yos having sex – which many of us were. And I suspect I am older than you as my DC are all in their 20s.

Condoms are great for stopping unwanted pregnancies as well as unwanted STDs (which no one wants tbh). Maybe your DC has not had sex – that's fine for sure. But chances are they will once they are at uni. Sorry if that is upsetting for you. And they won't necessarily be in an LTR either.

Don't recall having a packing list in the 90s but remember the Freshers fair when paper bags with about 20 condoms in were being distributed by the Union and also available to pick up at most of the bars in halls or in the union building. Lots of one night stands or casual hook ups. Ahhh Steven P I remember you fondly...

They were on lists when I went, over 25 years ago - in a magazine (!) sent to upcoming students. They were also handed out liberally in freshers week.

For lots its their first time unsupervised away from parents with private bedrooms and true freedom. They are also meeting meeting socialising and drinking new people which is very exciting. You don't have to use them but yes of course you should have some just in case!

When I was 18 you only needed condoms if you were in a long term relationship.

Ahh yes, the late 90s before the invention of casual sex 😂

Gosh, surely it's better to be prepared.