University packing lists including condoms: is this now standard advice?

[Maybeshesbornwithitmaybeitssertraline]

My ds2 has got his essential packing list for university, including condoms. I know, better to do it safely than not but really?

When I was 18 you only needed condoms if you were in a long term relationship. Is it so different these days?

I'll admit that I'm struggling with the idea that my 18 year old us old enough to go to university so the idea of him needing condoms as well is a bit out of my comfort zone.

Why wouldn’t he need condoms unless in a LTR? I don’t understand.

Not a troll. I name change at the beginning of each month as many people do. I've been on mumsnet since I was pregnant with my now 15 year old and can remember the penis beaker, elderly korean lady etc.

I'm in my 40's. When I was a teenager most of the girls in my friend group waited until they were with someone special before having sex. Nobody waited until they were married but nobody had one night stands either. Obviously if we did have sex we used condoms but those of us having sex all had boyfriends we'd been with for at least 3 months.

I have had chats with all my dc about consent and contraception etc. I just thought that as ds2 hasn't had a girlfriend yet, he wouldn't be needing condoms anytime soon.

Casual sex was prolific when I was at uni 15 years ago. Can’t imagine it’s any different now. Not having had a bf/ gf before is irrelevant in my opinion. Lots of people will have been in that boat at my uni but still engaged in one night stands etc

Maybe he won't - he might prefer to only have sex with people he's in a relationship with. Or he might be a massive shagger. If you've taught him about consent, protection and safe sex you've done your bit. You can send him off to have a lovely time (whether that's committed, romantic shagging only or otherwise), and you can be happily oblivious to the ins and outs of it all (sorry)

They were on the suggested packing list for Sheffield uni in the late 90s. (My mum had a similar reaction to you.)

It sounds like you had a wonderfully sheltered start, and perhaps you’ve given your son the same, so probably he won’t need them. But you should be aware that many don’t have the same experience as you. I’m the same age as you and lost my virginity at 14. I wouldn’t recommend it. But it wasn’t that unusual, I know more who’s sex life began like mine than like yours. He should definitely pack the condoms. Or buy some himself.

Or buy some himself.

Now that brought back memories of (single-sex, boarding) school 50+ years ago and the girl who, thanks to an overheard conversation on our one and only, very publicly-placed payphone, found herself with the unsolicited opinion of several that personally, we wouldn't consider sleeping with someone not man enough to source their own supplies.

I don’t think your experience is common. I’m in my 50s and had a wild time at 18 as did all my friends. Condoms have been given out to that age group for decades.

I saw a video of a lady pacing her daughter’s stuff for college (American) and it included Narcan! So condoms seem tame in comparison. It’s better for him to have them surely?

Say what now? You think your ds won't have sex because he is not in a long term relationship while he is in a building full of same age adults that party most of the night every weekend (and some week nights!)?

I suppose it's possible....

He’s 18! Of course he should make sure he has condoms and knows about safe sex

I mean, there are 18 year olds who don’t want to have casual sex. But the vast majority do.

NARCAN® Nasal Spray is a treatment designed to rapidly reverse the effects of a life-threatening opioid emergency.

So other people don't have to bother looking this up. I don't know if you can even buy that in the UK.

I mean Uni had all sorts- prolific shaggers, once a term ONS’ers, serial Monogamists, no sex before marriage people ( catholics and Christian union and never the twain shall meet :-)). Issue is that parents rarely know which category their offspring will fall into- past performance is no guarantee of future returns and all that. If I don’t think mine have had sex before I’ll just add a pack into their stuff and leave it at that. If they have I’ll hopefully have already had the conversation - obviously have already discussed the theory but I mean a more “real life example”
chat.

Haven’t seen a “packing list” for our two ever (youngest second year and eldest fourth year) and eldest has been in halls all the way through.

Eldests halls must have a contract with Durex, as it has a tonne of condoms and lube in the main foyer, strategically placed next to the free biscuits and coffee!!

Same here! We had a little single measure bottle of vodka, too! 😆

Most of the girls in your friendship circle, but not all? And you were completely unaware of other students having one night stands? Your uni didn't have a weekly club or disco night that was basically a pick up joint?

I'm a decade older than you and sleeping around at uni was common then and for at least a decade before that.

This has to be a wind up. Safe sex is taught at school and has been for decades. Teenagers have been top shaggers for millennia before that.

Absolutely young people should hold off on sex until they are with someone they really want to have it with. Absolutely it is true that ‘that special someone’ might come along pretty often, especially at University!

I’m 50 and casual sex very normal in my 90s uni days. Absolutely not everyone but widespread. 18 is an adult so it shouldn’t be shocking.

When I was 18 you only needed condoms if you were in a long term relationship. Is it so different these days?

I went to University in 1990 through to 93 and it was one big shagfest then. Convinced one in the house I was in graduated with a Degree in Computer Science and a PhD in shagging.

My nephew is starting university this term too.
He definitely knows the consequences of unprotected casual sex at University... himself. And a "father" who couldnt cope with that consequence.

I made sure my son had some when he started. I was a student myself many years ago and I don’t think things have changed that much. Therefore condoms very much required.

It was the same in my day 93-96

University 1977 to 80. Loads of casual fun sex. I never had a longterm relationship till my 30s. Too busy having fun.