When did you 'know' your child was gifted?

[SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough]

Were you aware (or have strong suspicions) that your child was 'gifted' before school age?

Did they enjoy nursery? Were they able to flourish in a typical early years setting?

If you are the parent of a gifted child, what have been the main challenges you & your child have faced that a "bright" child wouldn't have?

I find the topic of giftedness very awkward so apologies for my clunky sounding questions. I never know how to phrase it without causing offence to someone.

Thanks in advance!

Mine picked up a newspaper and started reading it out loud when he was three. He’d been completely non-verbal up to that point. He was since diagnosed with autism, but this was 30 years ago so autism wasn’t on our radar. I thought he’d been possessed! 😂

I should also point out that my subsequent two (academically average) DCs have far exceeded my first in their careers. His IQ is through the roof, but he can’t cope with work. Being gifted isn’t the be-all and end-all.

Aged 2 and bit a nursery worker said she though he was bright.
He was crap in early primary - can't spell for toffee. Dyslexia assessment in y5 identified as dyslexic and gifted. Ask me next week for how the GCSEs went! He is muttering about Obridge for uni.

I'm quietly hoping my DD isn't gifted, but some signs are getting hard to ignore (and it isn't all positive). I'm worried about whether she will cope in a typical nursery/preschool setting. It's not something I like to talk about in real life, because I hate the label gifted and talented. I'm keen to hear other people's experience because this has caught me by surprise and I don't know how to best support DD.

Knew he was very bright as school kept telling us, we lived abroad at the time and he took tests and came out in top 1% of the country. Sat for a very competitive grammar with no tutoring and was 5th in terms of results.
All fell apart after that. Now diagnosed ASD, not sure how we missed it!
Stlll astounds me with his knowledge. He just seems to know everything. He remembers stats and is a huge sports fan, he knows so much about all sports, scores, players.

I can’t say I picked up on ours till primary. He was put on a G/T stream for maths at primary and excelled always. He didn’t always find it easy, others tend to tease the nerdy ones. He loved maths puzzles and numbers and read books ahead of his age range. But excellent exam results at a very ordinary state secondary. We always supported him in studying but he would say himself he didn’t have to study hard to get good results.

He went to a RG university, studied maths, got a first and now earns a lot of money in a corporate job at 30 (top 1% earner). But more importantly he has a lovely wife, and life, and is happy.

Not a stealth boast but both I and his dad are quite bright but he definitely could beat us.

When he dismantled the toaster to find out how it worked then reassembled it and it worked. His fave bedtime books were engineering ones with schematic diagrams He was four. By six he was sneaking down at night to watch science programs and asking for real books on microbiology.

He has been scaring the proverbial out of me ever since he found his feet. TBH a being gifted is double edged. It sounds great till you are faced with a five year old screaming because they cannot get their body to keep up with what their mind is trying to do. I never pushed him but allowed him to be him with the occasional lectures on safety and laws and consequences if the latest interest was potentially dangerous. The Ed psychs eventually classed him as twice exceptional and recommended input from a clinical psych as he has ASD with ADHD plus a fiendish intellect. His primary school organised extra gifted tuition with a local university after he handed in his written notice to school.

School was fiery, VERY fiery. He broke teachers and Ed psychs. There were days I had to drop everything and take him home as he found things to do when bored that was not always great. He was a lot happier in sixth form and went on to thrive on the higher apprenticeship route.

Can't say I noticed as i was very young and he was my first so thought it was normal...........but everyone staring when he was 1 Yr old and I went around the supermarket with him sat in the shopping trolley reading the signs like 'tea, sugar, bread etc' above the aisles should have given me a clue🤣 and my mother shocked that he was reading the street names when she pushed him in his buggy at 20 months.

He didn't enjoy nursery/pre school when he started at 3 years 7 months as he wanted to sit at a desk and do sums and learn, not play with sand and water🤷

Primary school had its challenges but he got a free place at an independent secondary school and ended up with straight As in both GCSEs and A levels (without revising) and has a decent job as an adult. In hindsight and with the benefit of age and experience I'm not sure it was necessarily a good thing for him as he spent a lot of time being bored at school.

before she was 2... and could do 50 then 100 piece jigsaw puzzles by herself.

When she began preschool age 2 and 11 months she was confident with numbers up to 100, new all her letters and could read CVC words, and knew all her colours and shapes etc.

By the time she had left preschool she could read books like the gruffalo to her class at story time, and was on reading level 5.

She knew lots of stuff too, like all her road signs and that motorways had blue signs etc before she started school.

She could ride her bike age 3, and was at swimming level 5 by year 1.

Before 2 years i suspected something, by the time she started reception it was obvious she was gifted.

She's now 14 and has the academic scholarship to a top independant school.

She frequently gets best in school for things like Maths challenge, (including when in the primary side of her school and competing with the seniors) and a critical thinking computer test thing they compete in.
She won spelling bee every year in prep school.
Her Cat4 tests predict she should get a 9 in every GCSE subject.

Many of her teachers have commented that she is the brightest / most gifted child they have come across in their teaching career.

When very young (under 1 year, probably under 6 months) he was very alert and 'noticed' things a lot.

Nursery told us that they were v surprised when they were encouraging him to count for observations at around 2.5 ish and he easily could go to 100. They were expecting maybe 5 or 10 I think?

He knew number bonds and times tables before starting school, and could work with negative numbers. That kind of thing was because he was (a) very interested and (b) seemed to have a very long concentration span for his age.

He has continued very well academically through school (now 17). But he's not completely outstanding, he has peers of similar ability.

I can relate to this. You have also picked up on some of my concerns about being bored in school and nursery. Personally, I don't prioritise top gades. Academic achievements are great but above all I want DD to enjoy her childhood. I'm not sure what the options are for early years as the developmental gap between DD and other children of a similar age seems to be widening at quite an alarming rate rather than decreasing.

I didn’t actually recognise it in my child (beyond the usual bias that mothers have for their children). School recognised it. In primary, one teacher said she hated doing playground supervision as my son would spend the whole time firing questions at her that she found impossible to answer. In secondary school teachers said they had to prepare for lessons twice, once for my child, and again for the rest of the class. He was classified as gifted, more able, and talented. Then went on to a special program to apply to top universities. But now none of that matters. On Thursday we get his A level results, but he isn’t well enough to go to university.

Similar to the above - my dad commented that she was observing cause and effect at five months. By two had taught herself to read and could do a 100 piece puzzle. At nursery she flailed - so sent her to an alternative school where they placed her in key stage 1 at 3 - it was the making of her. Subsequently went to the excellent local primary and with their support and some very open conversations with us excelled. Has gone onto a super selective grammar where she has found her tribe and is happy. Has a diagnosis for ASD which she found a relief and we are very open about it. It was exhausting when she was little because had to feed the beast - so many books/ puzzles/ technical sets. Also loves art and music and languages. Writes amazing insightful poetry. Not sure what the future holds but reckon she’s well placed to succeed if she finds the right path.

Very early. Months old. He read before starting school, was innately curious and had a logic few adults do. It was in the eyes and observation.

He was the cleverest in his class at primary and we transferred him to the independent sector aged 8. A linguist by nature rather than a mathematician.

First from Oxbridge, PhD from Cambridge. An academic, already published.

DD is as bright but did it far more quietly. Beta to his alpha and a slower burner.

My health visitor commented that he was unusually bright before he was one year old. He spoke in sentences very early on and had a wide vocabulary.
He didn’t have any problems at nursery or school and has grown up to be a very modest and caring adult, working in a demanding profession. Went to Oxbridge.

The first time someone suggested he was gifted was around 10 months old. He was unusually alert and very focused on things he was interested in. He was bloody hard work 🤣. He used to empty cupboards because he just had to know what was there.

I fully agree that it is a double-edged sword. He struggles with his chronological peers - he is intellectually on a different level. Also 2E - ADHD/ dyslexia in the mix. He has really struggled in school. We pulled him out. We are figuring out our next moves.

I agree with @Thesoundofmusic23 about it being exhausting feeding their curiosity! We never left the "why" stage. He used to insist we read every book on his bookshelf in one sitting.

I'm interested to know how many very gifted children aren't also Autistic. I feel like the few children I know (of different ages) who would be classed as gifted are all on the Autistic spectrum.

I'm relating to a lot of these posts. I have a 17 month old who is talking in full sentences, counting into the 30s, knows her shapes, colours, days of the week, seasons into two languages etc. She can sing the alphabet, name the planets in the right order. I haven't intentionally taught her this stuff she's just seems to pick things up.

She is able to recognise words (I don't think she is reading them but has over a hundred memorised), and can spell simple words with her letters by sounding them out. Earlier this week she pointed to the sky and said "ominous rain cloud" and I was like yeah this kid is going to be hard work.

There's also a bit of sensory seeking going on (lots of spinning & swings) which may be in the realm of normal but I'm keeping an eye on. Dislikes getting messy. Really likes patterns and engages in some repetitive behaviours - something I'm watching now but wouldn't write home about.

Watching her at stay and play today and I was starting to feel concerned about how she would get on in nursery.

@SoloMumJustMuddlingThroughhas anyone here got a gifted child who is completely neurotypical?

I don't know. Is yours?

My understanding is that being gifted is a form of neurodivergence - so you can't be both gifted and completely neurotypical. My dh and his siblings were gifted children and were never diagnosed with any SEND so I think it's possible to just be gifted and nothing else - or at least it was back then!

To answer the op's questions: Yes I think I did suspect from before school age. DD did enjoy nursery but it took her a long time to settle in. Main challenges: harder to make friends in early years due to preferring interesting conversations with adults rather than playing babies etc! But there are lots of positives about being gifted too.

My daughter is gifted (I think - she started speaking at seven months, taught herself to count before 1 and has just taught herself to read age 2) and neutrotypical.

She's actually very social and popular among her peers. A lot of her closest friends are age 4/5 though, rather than the kids her own age (she goes to a childminder so there's a mix of ages). She creates the games that the older kids all play

I don't think this is always true. My family are all firsts from Oxbridge types and neurotypical

My oldest is very very bright, was aware of concepts from at least 12 months old. You could have a fully fledged conversation with him from 18 months old. And the questions, oh my, the questions.

He is now top of his class in everything in high school. When considering his options in year 9 I had teachers begging me to 'persuade' him to take the GCSE they taught.

So I thank the universe on a daily basis for computers and the internet. I showed him how to do proper, comprehensive research when he was 11 years old ( this was when he got his first lap top) and the importance of checks and balances and he has subsquently taught himself about any thing and everything he has taken a fancy too including learning to play the piano.
We have debated several times whether to get his IQ tested etc but it seems pointless as he has found his balance.

As to whether he is neurotypical, well for the majority of the time I do lean towards a yes. 😁