How do you get back to sleep when ‘bad’ thoughts creep in?!

[Redlocks30]

I’ve always been a pretty good sleeper until Menopause but it’s shocking at the moment.

I’m on HRT and seeing the GP next week to look a increasing the dose but I just wondered if there’s anything I can try a 3am when I wake up, my brain IMMEDIATELY pings into stress mode about (real) awful things-bad health issues, parent dying, financial planning.

Things that I can sort of deal with (or push out of my mind) during the day, but make me spiral in the middle of the night-proper palpitations, dread, fear etc I literally go from fast asleep to, ‘ooh, what was it you are currently stressed about-oooh, yes, there it is!)

I try thinking of other things-listing boys names starting with each letter of the alphabet etc but my mind just meanders back to the bad things! It’s nothing I can do anything about-crap situations that have to be dealt with, unfair situations I can’t change, unfortunate decisions that we have to live with but it is ruining me. I feel dreadful in the days-it’s giving me headaches and my eyes hurt.

What can I actually do? The horrible stuff is ongoing and won’t go away-I just wish I could be like a Jilly Cooper character from the 70s where you take a Mogadon tablet and the world goes black till you wake up! (I’m presuming they were probably not a perfect solution, anyway…!)

I find a few drops of CBD oil seem to quieten any racing thoughts, together with box breathing. Sometimes an alphabet game in my head. Bizarrely, I also find it very calming/meditative to mentally plan my outfits for the next few days.

I cannot bear sound when I am trying to sleep, and find it really jarring/stressful, so podcasts and music are out.

My sympathies, OP. I've been through the wars with insomnia since I started perimenopause about 4 years ago. I second the suggestions above for boring podcasts and box breathing. Cognitive shuffling is also helpful but you say you are already trying that by running through boys names with different letters of the alphabet. It's trial and error. Some nights, nothing works but a very long very boring podcast and even then I only sleep fitfully. Other nights, cognitive shuffling is enough.

Have you tried the Calm app? It has guided meditations and sleep stories so that is my go-to for those nights when the 3am racing thoughts won't stop. That and making sure I'm taking the right dose of progesterone because it seems that is the hormone is most disruptive to sleep if levels are low or unstable.

Play an audible book on timer so it stops after 20 mins

My go to is the name game. 3 letter words. Ant Bat Cat Dog Elf etc. Then 4 letter. I dont think I can get past 5 letters without falling asleep.

Also, close your eyes and focus really hard om backs of eyelids. That sends me off.

Mumsnet mind your worries thread.

Having a minor pointless obsession. Mine is looking up neutral high street clothes that I might buy on LTK. I also have a few shows and comedians I follow. I also look up the Beckhams and Royal family, funny now I think about it as I could not care less about them. The point is they need to be dull, predictable, of no major consequence to your life.

Ooh weekly epsom salt bath also helps.

I hate when that happens. I get up and go watch a film or go online.

This is the only thing that works for me as well. Tried loads of things.

If you’re in Europe anytime soon buy some melatonin

I read last thing at night and it makes me sleepy - if I wake in the night feeling anxious I put the light on and read then when I’m feeling a bit sleepy put a boring audiobook on - wildlife or travel
but I sleep on my own - no DH to disturb- also it’s best not to be beside someone fast asleep as that’s annoying

I’ve been wondering about you @BringBackCatsEyes since your work thread. Any progress?

To add - I also have an alarm clock with a loud tick - so when I'm counting backwards which I do sometimes it's in time with this so I'm listening as well as counting which is added distraction.

When I used to struggle with this, I got into the habit of going to sleep thinking of 5 things I was grateful for that day. I would just keep running over them in my mind. And if I woke up I would just go over those 5 things again until I got back to sleep.

There are some brilliant strategies on here too, just showing what a resilient and resourceful bunch of women we all are!

But also I would say, this sounds very much like a symptom of a mental health issue, and as with any health issue, seeing you Dr is probably a good idea if it is becoming debilitating.

Good luck! X

I find a quarter of a Sominex tablet is enough to just keep me drowsy enough to drop back off

Thank you for all the replies, I actually slept pretty well last night! I listened to a Calm story from You Tube, didn’t get up for a wee, woke once but didn’t open my eyes or look at the clock, just focused on my breathing and managed to drift back off.

In response to it being the symptom of mental health issues, I’m not sure about that. I think my mental health isn’t too bad-I actually reckon I’m just responding (in a not that abnormal way) to a pretty stressful set of things going on at the moment. I suspect if I went to the GP, they’d put me on anti-depressants?

No. I will update that thread if any of the pending applications deign to let me know.

Good luck

I count back in 7s from 300.
If i get distracted or my mind wanders I have to start again....
I'm getting very good at it....

I’ll try that one, thank you!

Box Breathing. Honestly it’s a game changer.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y5jqly153o

I've just been reading about box breathing.
I do controlled breathing when trying to sleep/stop thinking about stuff but didn't know about box breathing.
I've learnt about 4,7,8 breathing now as well and various reports suggest this is better for getting off to or back to sleep.

I guess either of them is preferable to FB reels?!

Listen to Bill Nighy's podcast 'Illadvised'. It never fails to send me to sleep. His voice is very calming and the content doesn't adrenalise me or stress me.

I would try getting up, go to the bathroom, remind yourself it all seems worse during the night, practice the soldier's way of getting back to sleep. Start by relaxing every muscle from the top of your body gradually down to the toes and breathe deeply.

Honestly? I go on my phone. I lie there ruminating feeling more and more stressed. But then if I read Mumsnet for ten mins I fall straight back asleep. I used to try avoid doing this as all the advice is no screens but for me it clears my head and I am able to sleep.

I’m glad you’ve raised this. If I go down a FB reels hole I can easily waste loads of time mindlessly watching any old crap. I tear myself away and realise my brain has only been on the reels nothing else. A pure break from all my worries. I don’t do it at night because while I think during the watching my mind is elsewhere, when I stop my mind is not in a place conducive to sleep.

I find it helpful to focus on slow breathing and gently redirect attention to something neutral, like a calm image or simple counting. Avoiding the pressure to “force” sleep can also make it easier to settle back down.