<klaxon> grape sized lump... hurts to sit down...

[KatoPotato]

Wahhhh...

I've had this lump on my labia for many years now, hard but painless.

Since a few days ago - I blame spin class - it's got really big, red and painful. It's the size of a large grape and is mostly hard. I've had mag sulph paste on it, germolene, hot baths, tentative squeezes... nothing - It's hard to dress too, thanks to the location.

I've had similar before, hence my mag sulph knowledge, but this just doesnt seem to be coming to a head, paracetamol and ibuprofen are not touching the pain.

Any ideas???

Genius Kato. How's it all feeling today?

Ver nice

You're a new woman!

Wonderful! Had a glorious sound sleep and have a day of rest ahead of me! Dominic littlewood optional!

How much have you told work?

I text my boss yesterday and said:

Hi X, sorry but strain was actually a cover story for something a bit more delicate, but I've been referred to the royal today for very minor surgery! I'm really sorry I'll see how it goes but might be okay for tomorrow?

He's not in today but I only work 3 days pw and already have Friday Monday booked as annual leave.

Our sick policy is shocking so im just going to have to use another day annual leave but I'll phone hr today to explain an exceptions report for the clocking in system!

Congratulations on the vanquishing of Gym and your shiny new username Kato I do love a happy ending

Incidentally if you show your photos to HR I think they'd have a pretty hard time holding this absence against you!!!

That's better!

Definitely one for the classics! Hope you're feeling a bit better.

DH wants to know if they got 'the sac'.

Yes I made sure to ask that! It's all gone and was partially packed with a ribbon that came out this morning as predicted.

MN keeps chopping my 'e' off my new username!

Phew-he's gone for good then. No refilling. All good re work too.

Will the stitches dissolve?

Yes, lots of nice warm baths!

I've got my hospital issue comedy maternity towels and keeping up with with my pain meds and antibiotics, dom is on in ten mins... I feel obliged to see him!

Don't forget to count the number of times he says 'conshoomers'. I think it's Eamonn and his Mrs on ITV again.

So glad to read you're so spritely :-D

OMG just read this thread in one go! Tried to reset password so I could see your pics but link wasn't working :(. Just re-registered so I could look and your profile is no longer there

However...so glad you're all sorted now, sounds horrific and I conclude you must be hard as nails. Here's To a speedy recovery :)

ooh, am pleased Gym is all gone.

Sounds like you will soon be back to full health! Be careful next time your are spinning :)

Kato - am so glad that Gym is gone, but horrified that I missed the pic! Any chance of a PM please?

I am a duplicate Humphrey - gutted to have missed it but very impressed at your handling of the situation. I bet that doctor was regaling her family with stories of mega-pus satisfaction afterwards.

Guys it's active again, just press my name?

Bloody blimey OP, that was an impressive saga!

Hats off to you for your bravery, and for coining the term Follicle Bollicle - best thing I've read all day.

Glad to hear you're feeling better, must be an epic relief!

Did your boss text you back?

He sure did, he said poor thing don't worry.

Also hr say I can put in a 7day self cert and ask for the first 3 days to be paid discretionary by the ops director (my boss)

All good but I'm a bit sore and nauseous now

Aaaahowwwch! That is scary. Hope you get over your current nausea and stuff quickly. Thanks for reopening your profile!