Probably as embarassing as you can get :-(

[CanHardlyTellRLFriends]

I AM A REGULAR- HONEST TO COD

But there is no way on earth I am keeping my real name for this one.Feel free to call me a troll, but if one person answers then that will do for me

OK- Here goes
Last night I had anal sex with OH, was fine no real pain just a bit sore this morning. In the house then this afternoon, I broke wind and faeces came out
Please someone reassure me that this is not a side effect of anal sex

Thanks in advance

You probably could ahve got a lot for those jeans on ebay

belgianbun a way to liven up those dreadful tenalady adverts!

Now this is the sort of thread that Mumsnet is here for!!

I was on the tube not long ago and there was a very obviously gay man sitting opposite me. He was wearing white shorts & when he got up to get off the tube, he had shit stains down the back of his shorts!!! So, I guess your problem is not unusual CHTRLFs!!!!

Message withdrawn

I have to say, dh and I were curious, after this thread. But IT HURT!!

And I'm not prepared to try again to see if ''we were doing it the wrong way''.
Sausage in thimble is spot on. We will draw a veil over the whole sorry incident now.

Ewwww, at Bugsy's post on sh__stained shorts

Bumdeal,

Maybe too much haste and not enought slippy stuff?

oh, thanks for all the ammunition, girls.

dh's aim in life seems to be a closer relationship with my (*). At least I can properly justify my unwillingness now!

I blame the porn industry for blokes thinking this is the way to go.

It is, if you're a gay man.

My best pal had a boyfriend, though, who kept pressuring her about it. So she told him, you go first.

He said, 'I already have'. Turns out, he was bi!

expat, what was her reply??

They split up, Mat.

She just wouldn't go there.

Needless to say, she had the full support of her female friends.

the haemmorhage image is particulary powerful.
Not sure dh would be sympathetic about temporary incontinence.
You're right about the porn, expat. Makes them think everybody's busy being rogered three ways 5 times per week....

Since we're on the subject... is the finger up bum scenario as popular with everyday folk as the porn industry would have us believe? I think I'd rather have a sausage up my thimble than stick my finger in someone's arse!

nailpolishes dh like it

never been "bum burgled " in my life
and dont want to neither

turquoise - this is another thing with a clear male-female divide in our household.

I'm not going to stick my finger up anyone's bum * gag *(other than the children's to insert a suppository).

'nailpolishes dh like it '

when are they planning to give us a vomit icon around here?

Message withdrawn

'Bum love-they all want it secretly.'

Plenty of blokes around willing to indulge them!

Message withdrawn

Yeah, well, the boyfriend would have had to go home w/Boy if he had an interest in bumming.

I thought I 'd just say a quick "hello" to the new lurkers and browsers directed to mumsnet by the intense media exposure today. Hello and welcome.

Periodically we get threads about arse-banditary and I would just like to take this opportunity to say

It's all them other mucky mares and not me, guvnour

thanks