***Tamoxifen 32***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

step this way dear ones...the trolley will be here in a sec...

smee Dr Geek said that all they can read from dexa scans is bone density, so Osteporosis, Vitamin D deficiency in children, so that is all you can get paranoid about really. It measures the rate at which a small amount of radiation, much less than an X ray, less even than you would get on a long haul flight, travels through the bone and you get a measure of bone density in your back and hips in relation to the average .

You need the proper bone scan to investigate for mets, when they inject you with a radioactive material which picks up any bone building hotspots, in response to Cancer, trauma etc. It even picked up that my sacro iliac joint was traumatised by giving birth to DD2 (10.5 pounds ).

we watched OBEM too- I liked the Latvian girl - that blonde midwife's voice would seriously grate,I must say.
smee no idea about what to do if it's too snowy- dh has written me a stern email saying that there's no way he'll let me go if he thinks it's too dangerous (he wrote it in caps) Kind friend who has a 4x4 has offered to take me, but she lives over beyond B/stoke which would mean her coming and going twice over. Am just hoping that it's ok for me to go and then it can snow as much as it likes when I'm home.

Ah, thanks Copthall. I am a ninny. I had a full bone scan last year during another bout of paranoia and it was all clear, so phew for that.

MAS, what time's the appointment? If morning you could well be fine as snow's more likely after lunch apparently. Don't risk getting stuck though. DH is right to be so capitally assertive.

Copthall at 10.5 pounds. I'd bet the sacro iliac wasn't the only part of you that traumatised..

Evening all Am knackered after full day at school. Am hoping it will start getting easier at some point. . .

Bloody chilly here - heavy snow forecast for all day tomorrow, so unlikely that I will be venturing out to work. Might get out OK, but sure as hell wouldn't get back! Might possibly be hoping that DSs school shut and we can have a quiet, snuggly one on the sofa. . .

at 10.5lb copthall *smee is right about your traumatised bits. . . I managed to press that red emergency button when I was in labour with DS. It wasn't an emergency at all, but no-one had shown me the smaller "call" button next to it It was very dramatic, many staff ran in from all directions, and all I wanted was more batteries for my TENS machine. .

smee perching my ample arse on the paranoia box for you, lovely. I remember you had the clear bone scan last year. That's what you need to hang on to, right? Is Dexa scan in preparation for moving you off Tamoxifen? How long must you wait to find out?

MAS don't risk snow, my love, you don't want to come a cropper in the wild Hampshire lanes. . . I see T's school is "partially shut" (on Heart FM website) Is he affected? I have always thought its a bit mean to give some the day off but not all. Picture arrived today - it is awesome and perfect! Seeing the recipient on Tuesday, so safe to post on FB then! Will send cheque post haste. . .

Hope everyone is OK today and staying warm.

Love you all lots x x x x

appointment at 11, so that might be ok- snowing here now, but not very heavily...T over joyed...
He has to go in for a GCSE History exam,no matter what, but I guess can come home afterwards.
Waves to ned - glad picture is safely with you ! Hope you can relax this evening after a full day

Actually smee Ned No I can't say I even noticed the trauma to my sacro illiac joint , it was very quick and would have made a good One Born Every Minute. I ended up being wheeled to the delivery room kneeling up in the chair, because I refused to sit down, understandably I think what with what was going on down below, slumped over the back screaming, with the midwife running along with her head between me and the porter maintaining eye contact and shouting "DON'T PUSH" at me, and another running along in front (to catch if I did?). I screamed, swore and made lots of terrible noises and when I apologised after the midwife said "Don't worry quick births are always like that. I had a nice lawyer the other week that bit me, she was very apologetic after"

smee Hopefully you will pass the dexa with flying colours and get letrazole and not be a failure and a sad disappointment to the doctors like me, yet again!!

MAS I managed not to cry during last nights OBEM, until the Latvian girls' lovely Mum arrived on the megabus....

Ned Teaching is so very tiring, it is very physical, take care of yourself.

DDs school psyching themselves up for a snowday I reckon, lots of "In the event" "for health and safety reasons" emails and texts. I come over all northern at these snowdays, having grown up in a village only exited via a 1 in 4 hill, and we NEVER had snow days. Dad would rally and slip, slide and skid up and down those hills no matter what. MAS DON'T TRY IT (uses DH's shouty capitals) Hopefully it won't start until you are back and tucked up and can look out on it as romantic scene , rather than a health and safety hazard.

ps Obviously by come over all northern I mean Off to warm up with some Chateau de Chasillez.

Did you get one of those emails too!? I am just hoping that doesn't bugger my hospital trip either mas - not that I expect a lot of snow early but sw trains have got their excuses in already

Ouch at the birth stories - I was profoundly uncomfortable with mini gig this time last year.

I remember asking the midwife to make my bed into a chair (apparently it could be adjusted to this effect) but she was hopeless at it, plus she wanted my fan turned off as she had a cold (and I was boiling hot as it was midsummer and baking) The best bit about the birth was having the company of a fabulous medical student who held my hand and was wonderful- we are still in touch -she's now a GP in Leeds.

I'll be sensible copt Dh will hide my car keys....

Gig, what time do you have to be there tomorrow? I think snow's due to hit London mid morning, so you might be okay if it's an early scan? Will be thinking of you xx

MAS, definitely don't risk the roads if there's any doubt. Am sure it's annoying, but we can't have you stuck in a car. We'll have to come out with tartan rugs and fbs to find you.

Ned, hugely well done to manage a day's teaching. Am wishing you snow tomorrow so you can curl up and rest. I am not really all that worried about bone density scan. I think it was more that I was in the same place that I had to go to for first bone scan nearly 3 years ago now. Brought it all back to me.

On birth, have to say biting lawyers sounds about right. Love the Porter shouting 'Don't Push' at you, Copthall and MAS how lovely that you're still in touch with that doctor. Denzil Washington forceped mini Smee out. Genuinely he was a serious look-alike, utterly gorgeous and there was me with my legs in stirrups after 48 hours in labour.

thinking of gig - sending lots of love. Am having porrige for breakfast.

Happy Snow Morning

Mine and DSs school shut today, so don't have to feel guilty about not struggling in to work. DS got a bit of a cough anyway, so quiet TV day planned, with possibly a short-lived foray into the back garden at some point, just so we can say that we have built a snowman!

MAS PLEASE GO CAREFULLY (DHs capitals) if you venture out today. Will worry about you til we know you're safely home x x

That goes for anyone else venturing out this morning - hope lots of DCs schools shut so we don't have to risk ourselves out in the snow

Stay warm lovelies x x x x

It's at lunchtime but got physio and therapy first so going in early. So far no snow here.
Keep candles lit, fingers crossed for me

Posted without wishing gorgeous gig all the very best for this morning - got everything crossed for you x x x

Thanks ned-you got a snow day? And how you feeling?

Got the lance Armstrong interview to distract me- am big cycling fan so iinterested (and not that surprised about all this).

Best positive thoughts to you today Gigs

Mas you be very careful if you are out on those roads .
And tell T I am sending him good luck vibes for his exam today .

No snow here yet , but it's on it's way apparently . Amber weather warning .

I am planning to stop my sofa from flying away today , but planting my substantial rear on it

Those crumpets still haven't arrived ...

I never cared for Lance Armstrong- read one of his books and thought how up his own arse he was. And not very nice.
T's school is still open so he is disappointed about not coming home after exam..he is willing it to blizzard. So far a sprinkling so roads should be fine going-will keep an eye out for return journey.
Happy cosy snow days for those without school

Thanks gig yes, snow day here for me and DS I think I am OK, tired, but pleased to be back at work. My therapist says that I am too self critical and that I need to challenge that part of my personality. He said what did I see when I looked in the mirror and I said "fat" (which is the truth) so we are talking a bit about self image etc. I said to him that I didn't want to be the person I was last year, with the whole cancer "identity", but he said I couldn't get rid of that person entirely, that I had to use the experience of 2012 to shape the new person that I want to be now. Makes sense in theory, but its a bit harder to do in practice! He's a very lovely man (if ever so slightly camp!) and I know that it is helping talking to him, even if the sessions are hard work and draining. I am less weepy from day to day, so I guess that's progress. . . Sorry, that was a bit of a waffle!

Got bagels here topsy if that would do as a substitute?

Depends Ned , what flavour ?

DDs school open and her train running and there isn't even a frost . Everything crossed for gigs, doesn't look as if even South West Trains can plead adverse weather, though of course they may get out and dust off their "wallaby on the line at Chessington" excuse.

Lances book was given to me by about 5 people when I was diagnosed, all very inspirational it seemed

Hope it is all clear for Mas too.

I am seriously looking forward to walking goon dog in a blizzard, it will make a change, and scare off the nasty posh couple with the evil fat black lab of the Baskervilles that roam Hampton Court Park and bully goon dog and I ....Wonder if I can get goon dog to carry a flask of brandy.

Topsy I can do raisin and cinnamon or plain with sesame seeds on . Can do with real butter too?

Hmm , sesame I think .
Lashings of real butter please .

Copthall snow is pig/dogs very favourite weather .
He has a harness that he wears on walkies , and I think a flask could be clipped to it ...

Still raining ...