***Tamoxifen 32***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

step this way dear ones...the trolley will be here in a sec...

hot choc and porridge coming up topsy ( I think there is honey in the cupboard - it may be rather old though). Snow is a nuisance but it is so pretty, and we don't have it very often, so I'm not really complaining.

DH has come back having bought quantities of bird food from the village shop, and has now disappeared to take photos. He'll be looking for a toboggan next

wont a tea tray do kurri?

there is a fab you know you grew up in the 80s thread in chat that is distracting me from my ou work . In someways its as well I didnt have the net when I was a student first time round.

So jealous of the snow kurri, as topsy says just miserable rain here and mighty cold.

That is annoying pen hopefully they will reschedule soon but rotten to get that far and then sent home.

Hope your shoulder eases gigs. Does a brufen rub so any good? Is your scan this week?

mas my nurse always likes to tell me about her patients who are still going strong 9-10 years after mets dx. They do look at it like a chronic illness.

Surgeon appointment went well last night. I had a mammogram which was all clear . Echo this morning was 'hopefully' ok so just MRI to go next week.

Painkillers , warmth and massage all help- it was fine for about 4 days after last massage but I slip into bad posture habits so set it off again. Physio again on Friday before my scan so see what that says.

That is great that mammo all clear- and it's good are being so thorough with MRI although they are uncomfy .

well done gracie

Yay for you, Gracie. I will sit on paranoia box until MRI, but still that must be a huge relief.

That notion of mets being chronic makes sense. V.hard to accept that 100% of the time am sure, but maybe as you learn more about your own situation, and see that the treatment's working it gets easier to do?

Gig, where was the crash? Just heard it on the news, but it said 'central London' and nothing else. Did DH see it? Glad to hear leg's better, but ouchy arm sounds grim.

Pen, how are you today? Any news on new date for op? Really hope it's soon.

Kurri, if DH goes as far as a toboggan, you should go too. I love sledging.
No snow here. B'ah.. but looking promising for weekend. Little Smee v.excited.

I am ok today thanks. I was in gown knocked out on the pre med when the sent Dr Twelveyearold to tell me it could not be done today.

Admissions rang this morning and it is now scheduled for thurs next week so not too long to wait. I have years of housework to catch up on so am are I will keep busy.

Aw Pen - that's terrible when you were all prepared for it.

That happened to me years ago - cancelled my gall bladder removal having got me all gowned up for theatre. The rules are that if They cancel for non-clinical reasons they must offer you appointment within 2 weeks or you can chose to have the operation/treatment done at any hospital of your choice (including privately). If you google the key words you can find the NHS document about it.

I was taken to hospital by ambulance on Saturday morning after a night of dry-retching and vomming (TMI). Ambulance crew and admitting nurse told me I looked 'really dreadful '. Had 4 days in there on continuous IV fluid and anti-ems. Now at home. Still not feeling 100% at all - very shaky and gaseous which triggers the vomming. Have different set of anti-ems.

Nice Dr said that my chemo is probably the worst one for nausea side-effects but even so they shouldn't be that bad.

Now very worried about next 3 cycles although they assure me they will review the chemo and maybe adjust. At the moment I just feel chemically plugged at both ends.

poor you AtoZ spounds awful..am sure they will adjust your dose- I have had mine changed twice already because of side effects...hope you feel less plugged soon.
pen that's good that you haven't too long to wait. The pre-med sounds a good idea for next time ?
Am drawing things for Mr gig (men ski ing !) and waiting until it's piano lesson time for the boy. I get to read my book while he plays (first volume of The Cazalets - Elizabeth Jane Howard- all the volumes posted to me by a friend in Birmingham- very kind of her- absolutely love it so far)

Atoz that's awful but agree they should tweak dose cos as mas knows. And I know prolonged spell in hospital doesn't help.

Smee- was by vauxhall - dh didn't see it but I have been past on train today and you can see wreckage and also how very near it was too railway/houses etc.

I loved the cazalets when I read it. Strictly there should be a picture of dh falling over and then self medicating with beer as that seems to be what happens when he skis with that lot.

Oh my, AtoZ, that does sound grim. I had awful nausea/ vomiting and nothing much worked until they reduced the dose. They guess the amount of whichever drugs they to give you based on a pretty crude height/ weight ratio and a lot of us have had doses of drugs reduced so we can tolerate them, so don't despair. Keep tucked up warm xx

Gig, phew that's good he didn't see it and wasn't there. Sounds v.scarily like a far bigger disaster could have happened. Awful.

MAS, are you still doing a lot better this time round? Hope you are. x

Pen, next Thurs isn't so long away, but still must feel like ages. What a pain. I have housework you could do if you need things to fill the time.

this last cycle was a breeze ! take heart AtoZ though I do think capecitabine is easier going than most chemo drugs, which is good as some people are on it continuously.
Piano done and so I guess i must return to ski ing men- Mr gig didn't ask for a picture of himself fallingover skiing - it all sounds very jolly and I have learned about tequila infused beer.

gracie - great that mammo was clear

pen - next thursday not too long to wait (I know it probably feels like ages to you though), - at least they got back to you quickly.

AtoZ - sorry you had to go in to hospital, hope they manage to tweak your dose so you are not hit so hard the next time, hope you feel a little better soon, that shaky sick feeling is horrid

Gig - thank goodness your DH didn't have to see that awful accident, - but as you say Smee, - it could well have been even worse.

MAS - Cazalets is good, you will enjoy it

Smee - I'll encourage the snow to go your way for Master Smee to enjoy

I've just finished Howard's End, and I enjoyed it despite feeling very annoyed with lots of the characters.

Pen - sorry to hear about your rescheduled appointment.

I loved Howards Way, and got very excited once when I saw Barracuda in a boat yard in Lymington several years ago. I always thought that Charles De Frere was a bit creepy.

Mice on the road - brill!

I've never had honey and hot chocolate but Baileys in hot chocolate is delicious.

marking my place...

AtoZ ask them for a syringe driver next time .
It's a small pump that continuously feeds you anti sickness drugs .
I had one for 5 days with every dose of chemo and it was a life saver !

That helicopter crash this morning was awful .
BBC news were interviewing an eye witness on the phone , and the poor guy was almost crying .
And you can tell that all the bastard presenter wanted to know was "did you see any dead bodies"

Just back from visiting HND in hospital .
Am beginning to think she likes it in there
She's now having to have her boob aspirated due to it sloshing about like a hot water bottle .
And she's also got to be nil by mouth from midnight as they might have to take her back into surgery to do the same on her back !!!

Gracie yippee for clear mammo , what's next for you ?

Gigs when do you have/get results for your scan ?

Snow forecast for here on Friday .
I'm secretly quite happy that we are getting some , but that's because I don't need to leave the house and can sit infront of a roaring fire watching out of my window !

Honey was for the porridge Invictor not the hot choccie , that would be all kinds of wrong

Poor hnd- it's a bugger when you won't drain. Are they going to insert a Hoover thingy in to help if necessary or just clean her up? I had to have clean up but worked a treat.

Scan is Friday lunchtime and see onc on Tuesday lunch. Am doing ok about it if I don't think about it too much.

Oh no, poor HND. Bugger about the not draining. Hope they sort her soon.

Gig, am on the box for you. Useless I know, but am thinking of you. xx

I like snow so long as it lasts a day only and I can a) have a snowball fight, b) go sledging, then c) curl up and watch our road as a winter wonderland. After that it's sludgly annoying and I want rid of it. But yes, please send your snow Kurri. Me and DS need it. Will send westwards to Topsy when we're done.

grr about non-draining hnd
Bloods today and hoping the snow doesn't prove to be too pesky here- a bit would be nice though.

A to Z Sorry you ended up in hospital. It is miserable and scary, especially when days before you were entirely healthy. I felt quite resentful towards my "poisoner". However as smee says the dosage is very crude, and it is entirely normal for them to reduce it when they realise how it affects your body. My dosage was reduced at every one of the six cycles, and the treatments delayed to let my body recover properly. On the plus side the mega dose will have started the treatment with a good blast and you got a ride in an ambulance...

Poor hnd, I had problems with fluid (Sonoma? Just googled, not Sonoma, that is nice place in California , Seroma is fluid.... ) had to keep having it drained, but not a hoover, a HUGE great syringe, a GA would have been a fine thing, also so I didn't have to put up with the doctor that kept having to do it. (It was my first encounter with that sub group of doctors who react, annoyed and put out, as if you have done it deliberately ......wonky oncy was like that too, would tell you off for low blood counts as if you were a naughty schoolgirl and it had nothing to do with the poison. So probably Topsy you should go in and tell hnd off , that will sort her out )

MAS I do know what you mean about not feeling. Ever since Cancer I have reacted to any sort of trauma that way, it is probably your sub conscious protecting you, though I also think there is something of once you have learnt the hard way that life can be shit then it comes as no shock when it is IYSWIM. However I think that going on Dr Google may be a bit like picking a scab, better to talk to BCN who will doubtless tell of all the people who are living with mets for years. There are certainly plenty being treated at The Marsden.

gigs DH must have gone through Vauxhall 20 minutes before the helicopter accident. At least the mobile network didn't go down. On 7/11 I couldn't get through to him until lunchtime.

How is the studying? Are you enjoying it? Just reading can be hard to get down to but once you have a purpose and a deadline then it helps you focus especially if you have procrastinated so long that there are not enough hours in the day to meet it. Procrastination is a recognised condition now, we have very touchy feely hippy commune department that offers lots of support crystals, yoga, woo to procrastinators and the stressed. They even have procrastinators anonymous courses but I have not yet felt able to stand up and say "my name is ---- and I am a procrastinator" I am sure OU will have similar

Better get on but thinking of everyone with tests, scans etc. Moves considerable rump on to paranoia box, now NOTHING can escape.

Just watched last nights One Born Every Minute

And they showed a clip of next weeks episode .
Midwife : so where are you from ?
Patient : Peru
Midwife : is that where Paddington Bear is from ?

....................

If that's your worst viewing you have some way to go- I am proud to say I loved a series on sky called Britains roughest pubs.

Not that this post falls under procrastination copthall (yes it is slow getting back into the reading and learning how to organise myself but am
Enjoying it).

There was a surprisingly fab documentary on last week about parking fines.

How are you, Gig? Keeping busy? And you too, Gracie. Scattering the remains of Christmas cake on trolley to distract you both from scans.

AtoZ how are you today? Feeling any better yet? Hope you are.

Topsy, any news on HND? Did she have to have op to clear fluid?

Hope bloods weren't gruesome, MAS. What did they say about potentially missing Onc appt due to weather? Is there a plan B?

Have just had my bone density scan. Was completely fine about it until dimwit clicked that it's imaging, so starting anxting about them spotting something. Bloody hell, it never ends does it? Anyways, still excited by idea of snow, so will concentrate on that. Have you sent it yet, Kurri?

I am addicted to One born every minute. DD thinks it is very sad, "wasn't it bad enough having to do it twice?" as I weep copiously Was very disappointed my lovely niece refused to be filmed when nursing one of the babies they filmed in the neo natal ward, the nurse they filmed was an imposter!! That particular midwife who they seem to be focusing on this series nothing to do with her being blonde, sweet and pretty I am sure has come out with some corkers but my favourite was the man who couldn't work out that the big red button with emergency written on it was the one to press when they needed the midwife as wife was in distress, and kept pressing the buttons that changed the ambience of the lighting......

Not procrastinating either gigs , oh no.