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Original poster

oh my god... please help!

111 replies

mankymummy · 21/05/2008 15:19

i'm cooking paella for DPs special birthday treat tonight. i thought i'd cheat and buy 18p food colouring instead of 2.80 saffron. i put some yellow in and it has gone bright, bright orange.

and i mean like a traffic light.

what can i do?

i've been making out im a better cook than i really am and he's been going on about how he's looking forward to my authentic paella.

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 21/05/2008 15:39

wait till dc wakes up

go to the shops

really I think you'll find my plan by far the best

apart of course from the bra and pants

but I do think taking your clothes off to make up for the fact that you're stupid isn't the most emancipated thing you can do

Original poster
mankymummy · 21/05/2008 15:41

Stupid???!!!! Stupid?!!!!!

i was only trying to save money.... [goes and sobs in the corner]

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 21/05/2008 15:42

if I were your dp I would be delighted with the luxury you are affording his birthday

did you buy his wine from Lidl?

Original poster
mankymummy · 21/05/2008 15:44

wine? he's not getting wine as well. he can make do with the cans of white lightning i got from aldi !

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TheProvincialLady · 21/05/2008 15:44

You can buy paella from Waitrose I think. Definitely don't serve him this for his birthday - he'll think you want to end the relationship!

Failing that, don't Vesta do a paella you just add hot water to?

This is the best thread I have read in ages, thanks!

barnical · 21/05/2008 15:44

You could add paprika and make it a red paella you should really add red bell peppers too.. but you might get away with it.
Tell him that the dish gets it's name from the pan that you use ie a paella dish and that there are differnt types of the dish. I promise you there is a red one!

tigana · 21/05/2008 15:44

Are the chicken and prawns super-orange too?
Buggar!

Do M&S/Waitrose do a nice paella that you could jauntiliy fling into frying pan 10 minutes before DP comes through door?

nervousal · 21/05/2008 15:45

lol at this thread - you've cheered me up no end!

I'd go with a combined approach of serving it in bar and pants - paella in one hand and white lightning in other - how could he resist?

tigana · 21/05/2008 15:46

There are diff types of paella, depending on region of spain (and into franc eetc too) near coast there are prawns etc, inland it is seafood less and more about sausages and turkey/chicken.

Original poster
mankymummy · 21/05/2008 15:48

Chicken looks like small pieces of radioactive playdo but the prawns look ok-ish. The squid looks like barbi sized hulahoops.

Thats it barnical, he knows my mother is spanish i'll tell him its an authentic peasant recipe or something.

i have put peppers in [smug emoticon] and green beans.

OP posts:
Original poster
mankymummy · 21/05/2008 15:49

what time does the sun go in? maybe i could serve it with the lights off...

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artichokes · 21/05/2008 15:50

Lol, lol, lol

But on a serious note you should not reheat rice - it can make you ill.

Please have a laugh about it all and then serve him a takeaway (in your bra and pants).

TheProvincialLady · 21/05/2008 15:53

You know you were mad spending all that money on squid and prawns and 'saving' a couple of quid on saffron.

I once had a really nasty bug from reheating rice, it is one of those things i would never do now.

flamingtoaster · 21/05/2008 15:54

Pull the curtains and eat by candlelight.

Original poster
mankymummy · 21/05/2008 15:55

yes i know. but the seafood was on special and the saffron seemed soooo expensive for just a little tiny bit.

really? is that true about rice? i re-heat rice all the time !

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MrsCarrot · 21/05/2008 15:55

I don't think you were stupid, just a little misguided

You have tried very hard and spent loads of energy worryng about it too. Can't you explain it and laugh? Make him a cake.

JeremyVile · 21/05/2008 15:58

Squid ink!! Black Paella - v. authentic.(the orange wont stand a chance)
I feel confdent you will have some squid ink rattling around the back of your cupboard...

OverMyDeadBody · 21/05/2008 15:58

Pick out all the chunks of stuff, chicken, prawns, veg etc, then cook some new rice up, add all the other stuff and lots of stock and cook it down, and hope this dilutes the radioactive colour?

Personally though, I'd be inclined to bin it (or freeze it for you to have later for lunches or something if you don't want to waste food) and start again.

And next time, try turmeric if you want to save on the saffron, but only a tiny pinch, although investing in some saffron will be well worth it as you only need a few strands per meal.

Good luck. How about an Indian?

TheProvincialLady · 21/05/2008 15:58

Yes it is true about rice. I used to do it all the time too until - bleeeugh.

I agree with MrsC tell him, it is hilarious and you can have the enjoyment of telling the story as well as the enjoyment of not having to eat paella with food colouring in instead of saffron.

Original poster
mankymummy · 21/05/2008 15:59

great idea but my cakes turn out like biscuits.

i think i may have to rummage in the freezer for an alternative.

ahhh... i could pick the chicken and seafood out and make a curry with it !

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OverMyDeadBody · 21/05/2008 15:59

Actually, ignore me and go with what JV says, what a fab suggestion!

OverMyDeadBody · 21/05/2008 16:00

Yep, good idea to pick the bits out and make a curry with it. I'd go with that if I where you.

And stay away from food colouring from now on!

Original poster
mankymummy · 21/05/2008 16:00

oh i will have to tell him, trouble is it will be ALL i hear about for weeks, i shall be the butt of all dinner jokes with our friends...

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Original poster
mankymummy · 21/05/2008 16:02

jeremy... that is not a good thought to put in my head because now i'm thinking... well, i dont have any squid ink so what could i use instead?

{eyes up the permanant black marker to see if i can open it up and get the ink out....}

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CombustibleLemon · 21/05/2008 16:02

Can't you just tell him your DC shrieked, you went running and left the pan on, and it got burnt. And hide the food colouring.