Describe a film in the most boring way possible on purpose

[CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau]

I may be the only person in the world who finds this amusing but if anyone wants to participate in this sort of game to combat post Christmas/NYE blues I’d be grateful. In the vein of the description of the Wizard of Oz which goes something like “young immigrant girl commits murder immediately on arrival and goes on to leave a trail of destruction with a trio of oddly assorted companions”.

To start us off: Seabiscuit - a horse does things, rather well actually.

Pirates of the Caribbean - people strangely fancy a criminal who is irrefutably incredibly smelly

Mary Poppins - a nanny does a job well

Old looking kids sing - Grease

Stepmother is not great.

Snow White

A country enters the Olympics in a sport it hasn’t been able to yet: Cool Runnings

Clever man is still clever post health issue.

The theory of everything

Woman turns into swan repeatedly - Swan Princess

Home alone: the youngest son stays at home while others going on holiday and looks after the house.

Pretty woman: single guy very concentrated on his work meets a young woman who works shifts part time, they got on well and became a couple

This is a follow on, but toys continue to have rich social lives even when their children grow up. Also toy horses can weirdly run as quickly as an aeroplane but OK. Toy Story 2-3

Children scream - Monsters inc.

Kids move house and harass the train service

The railway children

Man buys extremely costly house - The Money Pit

Service user takes a vacation.

What about Bob

A surprisingly diverse cast go on journeys in their oddly toilet-shaped spacecraft. Star Trek

Woman could have chosen a better stepfather for her kids. Surrogate grannies are better.

Night of the Hunter

Ants fail to meet their productivity quotas because one of them is clumsy. A Bug’s Life

Boy meets girl
They both die
Romeo and Juliette

This made me laugh out loud!

Pocahontas: Woman ditches betrothed for new blonde in town.

bloke in vest kills baddies - Die Hard

weird bloke kills baddies - Matrix

benefit claimants remove clothing - The full Monty

Psycho: woman's shower ends in tragedy.

All Housewives franchises:

Wealthy women drink, argue and cry a lot.

Slightly off-topic but I feel those on this thread would love this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-oQLV0m7O7g

Meanwhile: some odd household decor and headwear choices are made. Meanwhile some potentially hazardous machinery is used. Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Some people are very well-off. A smaller subsection are engaged. One of them has a number of degrees. Crazy Rich Asians

A magical creature is so desperate for attention that they die if they don’t get applause. Peter Pan.

Final one before I hand this back to you excellent people. Clever, attractive and beautiful woman is dumped and instead of the usual route of crying a lot and going on the rebound, cries a lot, gets a Harvard law degree and single-handedly avoids a miscarriage of justice while throughout having a conventionally attractive hair colour.

This was so unmemorable to me but: No Country For Old Men. Man is cross or wants money or something so walks around shooting people until he himself is killed halfway through the film, and then there is a lot more shooting with really not very good or clear reasons.

Shakespeare in Love: young man is horny while trying to begin a writing career.

Nobody’s got this on the other thread so I’ll try it here with a different description. Babe: a pig demonstrates that pigs are intelligent mammals and also discovers that humans aren’t vegetarian all the time.

interstellar: I don’t know and don’t care, it got to the bit about okra and I started crying about climate change. Lovely score though.

A Grand Day Out: the moon actually is made of cheese. Also a parking ticket machine has a psychotic break.

This made me giggle, v funny

Misery - a writer meets his biggest fan.