Describe a film in the most boring way possible on purpose

[CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau]

I may be the only person in the world who finds this amusing but if anyone wants to participate in this sort of game to combat post Christmas/NYE blues I’d be grateful. In the vein of the description of the Wizard of Oz which goes something like “young immigrant girl commits murder immediately on arrival and goes on to leave a trail of destruction with a trio of oddly assorted companions”.

To start us off: Seabiscuit - a horse does things, rather well actually.

Pirates of the Caribbean - people strangely fancy a criminal who is irrefutably incredibly smelly

Mary Poppins - a nanny does a job well

Titanic - boat sinks. Terrible song. The end
pretty woman - corporate guy hires an escort and goes to the races
carrie - kooky kid gets her period,goes mental

Jaws - hungry fish swims in see

Notting Hill - posh London folk have middle class drama. Man meets,dates a film star

Wolf Wall Street - corporate guys with waaay too much cash get loaded & misbehave

Inception - people take medication to help them sleep and they have dreams which are not all good.

The Menu - People find out sometimes burgers are better than fancy food.

Some chickens run away from a farm - Chicken run
Its really cold - Frozen
Men go to the beach then have to find another man amongst many men - Saving Private Ryan

La La Land. Young jazz pianist plays the piano with mixed success. Meanwhile, budding actress acts, with mixed success.

Kill Bill 1&2 - assassin kills people

LOTR - 2 small hairy people go on a long journey to bin some jewellery

Trainspotting - boys get loaded and misbehave

The History Boys. Some 18 years apply to Oxbridge. They get in.

Alien rides bike, needs phone - ET

Point break - dude learns to surf

Bloke keeps trying to discover an historical artefact and baddies keep trying to take the artefact for themselves - all the Indiana Jones films

Man gets weird looking people to do stuff for cash - The greatest showman

Bloke keeps trying to save the world and kill baddies - all the James Bond films.

Dad finally reaches son a literal minute before the rescue helicopter arrives anyway, having trekked through the epic snow that killed two friends along the way - Day after Tomorrow.

In bruges - 2 blokes go to feckin bruge

Speed - woman has to drive a bus fast

Dune - immigrant moves to the sandy desert planet, his dad gets killed, he gets chased out of his house and has to avoid big worms. Meets a blue eyes girl.

Bloke has an implant put in him and he keeps fighting baddies - all the Jason Bourne films.

Woman and cat get chased about a spaceship by something laying eggs, then go to sleep - alien

The Shining. Lighthouse keeper gets overly irritated by his wife and child.

cat People - woman thinks she is a cat

Guy creeps around building killing a few baddies because another guy ruined his wife's Christmas party - die hard.

Some miners annoy some blue people. Avatar.