Describe a film in the most boring way possible on purpose

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I may be the only person in the world who finds this amusing but if anyone wants to participate in this sort of game to combat post Christmas/NYE blues I’d be grateful. In the vein of the description of the Wizard of Oz which goes something like “young immigrant girl commits murder immediately on arrival and goes on to leave a trail of destruction with a trio of oddly assorted companions”.

To start us off: Seabiscuit - a horse does things, rather well actually.

Pirates of the Caribbean - people strangely fancy a criminal who is irrefutably incredibly smelly

Mary Poppins - a nanny does a job well

Jurassic Park - big lizards escape and wander about.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - Men in suits whispering and doing lots of admin.

Home Alone. Family go on holiday without son and he gets up to mischief.

Novice nun leaves a convent, and gets a childminding job.
Sound of Music.

People wake up to reality with very mixed reactions and dire consequences - The Matrix

Saving private Ryan
Successfully done

Saltburn - student who's had a hard paper round is keen on recycling water

Aristocrat learns to stop being such a people-pleaser, improves her relationship with her sister in the process - Frozen

Spoilt woman grows up and finally stops being a bitch - Emma

I have heard Avatar described as 'Dances with Smurfs'

Scream - horny boys in slasher masks kill their mates
shining- better call the carpenter scary dad is somewhat vexed in a deserted hotel

(from similar plot to Dances with Wolves)

Beauty and the Beast (Disney) - young woman lives alone with her eccentric father and they are both marginalised. The girl deflects and is sneery about the town she lives in and finds it all terribly beneath her. Inevitably, she goes on to fall in love with someone with serious anger problems after he kidnaps her and she develops Stockholm Syndrome.

Falling Down - man goes for a burger and gets a bit peeved

Annoying boy with scar fights man without a nose - Harry Potter

Romy and Michelle - two women go to a school reunion and talk about post it notes.

The Holiday - two women stay in each others houses and talk about useless men.

The Grinch - angry outcast finds out love was there all along

Elf - happy outcast brings happiness to a shop

East of Eden: bad son turns out good after all, gets good son's girl, as good son goes bit mad and goes to war

Thank you so much everyone. I’m weeping with laughter.

To branch out a little to television: Succession. Very rich people make a lot of jokes about penises while struggling to become tediously richer

House: a doctor is grumpy and takes some drugs

Heartland: people have horses. Almost nothing else happens for about fourteen seasons

Happy Valley: a policewoman does her job in a tired yet humane manner

More films. I haven’t even seen this one but as Snakes on a Plane is an American movie I’m assuming the storyline is snakes get on a plane, Americans get cross because they lack Visas

The Neverending Story: a boy reads a book which does in fact have an ending while skipping class in a mysteriously dangerous attic his school has for no reason

The Addams Family: a very functional marriage is carried out in the context of a niche lifestyle

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: absolute maniac with a penchant for confectionary uses his fame and also corporate confidentiality to be a child serial killer

1917: two boys go on a walk while a war is happening

Sleeping Beauty: a princess has a long nap while her beau does some intense gardening

I saw the live action version of BatB in a restored cinema. The compere introduced the film in this way. I was crying with laughter by the time he got to Belle having Stockholm Syndrome. When he finished on that phrase, it made the Tena ladies have their use for the day.

My poor under 10s and the friends they'd bought with them had no clue why I, and every other adult in the room, was howling with laughter.

The Speed one up thread is my fave so far

Ted Lasso - man gets wrong job but succeeds because he has good helpers.

Man wakes up every day to same old routine then gets the girl - Groundhog Day

LOTR trilogy - 11 hours and 26 minutes of walking with a ring (assuming the extended edition movies).

Nuns sing, one is a better singer than the others
Could be sound of music or sister act

The Devil Wears Prada: graduate gets a job and starts to wear nice clothes.