Pervert son -please help me

[MotherOfARedPillCunt]

Please help me, I am absolutely devastated and don’t know what to do.

My son aged 12 accidentally came across his brothers chats which include him fantasising about getting his cousin pregnant SHE IS 12 & he is 16 and then he uploaded a photo of her where an AI but has taken off her clothes. I am absolutely beyond devastated. I love that little girl so much and feel like she has been massively violated. By my son and then by me for seeing her like that. My younger son who uncovered all of this is distraught - he’s best friends with her.

we were going to and see them all this summer but I am never letting him near her again. I can’t tell anybody because that just spreads the devastation but also I can’t look at them in the eye knowing this. She’s a smashing kid and we absolutely love her, I am heartbroken.

obviously I’ve taken my sons phone off him - he’s getting a brick until the end of school.
i have arranged a counsellor.
he already has a job lined up starting next week so as far as im concerned he can get on with it.
think he probably needs to see a GP re depression

I have raised my kids well and openly with discussions on porn and women’s rights on the table and since the last couple of years my son speaks to me with contempt which has often made me wonder if he’s been sucked into the man sphere. I know pregnancy fantasies are a charming motif of that lot.

but also I am really worried about the paedophilia side of this. I know for a fact that he won’t have gone near my niece as they live far away and we are all always together. he is incredibly shy.

is there anywhere I can get him seen…. Like a camp or something? Is there anywhere that takes these guys and sorts them out? A rehab? I’m a vocal and proactive mum; I practise what I preach, I call out misogyny instantly and still my son has fallen into this.

What he has done is completely unforgivable.i can’t look at him in the eye and really hate him and need to sort him out

That isnt pervert.... that is paedophilia. Children creating nudes of other children using ai is paedophilia. Safeguarding needs to be done. You need to protect her.

How much contact has he had with her?

So sorry youre in this position op. Hopefully someone else can come along and tell you next steps but in my training, creating ai images of kids is paedophilia whether 16, 14 or 100

Police

Ok well English isn’t my first language as you can probably tell. If you have any advice on what to do

In the chat he said she was 18.
the body added on wasn’t prepubescent

I fucking hate him

It was an image of a 12 year old doctored to look 18? Still same outcome

I think you need to involve the police OP, he hasn’t nicked some sweets from the shop this is paedophilia at 16 he knows this is wrong.

I’m sorry you are going through this.

Has he been watching a lot of porn? I'd look into therapists who work with people with porn addiction and I'd want a properly qualified psychologist not some random counsellor. I would not involve the police- they won't do anything and losing your son's trust will make it harder for you to do anything.

Paedophilia is a perversion.

What did he say when he was found out? I think you need to call the police. There's some things you just can't deal with on your own and this is one of them I think.

You say you can't look him in the eye but have you actually talked to him about this? Found out how far it has gone is there any more to it than the chats you've uncovered, has he done or said anything to his cousin? Explained what was in his head? Seems like you're guessing what influenced him but you can find out.

I would get him help - try ringing the "stop it now" helpline from the Lucy Faithful foundation for advice and support. They work with perpetrators as well as victims.

It stands out to me that he put a post pubescent body on her. Paedophiles tend to like prepubescent bodies.

I don't want to give false hope or minimise his risk to her, but is there any chance he wanted to use the software / see an adult naked body and used her photo at random / "for a laugh". Still punishable and absolutely out of order, but not a paedophile. I would want professional advice from either Lucy Faithful or a specialist Child Social Worker.

So sorry you are going through this.

If you're serious about this then you'll go to the police and co operate with them to do whatever is necessary.

I want to offer a handhold, it sounds so scary and upsetting. I think contacting a charity in this area as a previous poster suggested or child social services is the way forward - this requires professional intervention. Your son is still so young himself, so don't abandon hope. Professional intervention at this stage could be transformative.

Can you take him to a psychiatrist (medical doctor of mental health conditions) rather than a counsellor? That isn’t a bit normal. I don’t think you can deal with this alone. Also does he have access to younger girls at school/locally? They’d need protected from him too.

I would call or self refer to your local authority MASH front door service to get an early help worker involved - they can signpost you to interventions , depending on where you are like Tiger or tender projects in London (about safe relationships and harmful sexual behaviours). You might also want to go via school /college safeguarding team as they will also know what is available locally and may have something at school he could go to.
perhaps link him up with a mentor.
he needs good male role models and a sense of purpose and belonging.
school might want to refer him to prevent if there is any other mysogyny worries.

I don’t think police will be particularly helpful, I assume you have deleted the image. They would probably want to check out all family tech to see if more images there.

I would firstly tell your son you have found his depraved fantasies, and that what he is saying is both perverted and illegal. I would contact the police and ask to discuss this horrific situation and ask for guidance going forward. Save The Children might be a helpful resource as well. I would also suggest contacting the child’s parents about her cousin’s behaviour so they can take steps to protect her.

So sorry you're going through this. Police involvement may be a way to access specialist support for him.

You can contact your local safe guarding team, through children's services. Also you can ring the NSPCC help line, they are brilliant. You can also contact Family Action line ...0808 802 6666.

OP, I think you have to find out what he has been looking at and whether he has been sharing this with others or receiving it from others. I would have his phone professionally analysed and data extracted to understand the cause of this.

Hand hold for you, OP 🫂
This is horrifying and I am so sorry you're experiencing this. As repugnant as this is, in a comment you say that you hate him. Try to calm yourself before engaging with him again because you need to avoid a situation where shame becomes so intense that he can't speak to you or anyone else about this and bottles it inside instead. At 16 he is also still a child, albeit a near grown one and he will need support as well as consequences.
Contact a charity (other posters have mentioned some) and seek advice and guidance for both of your sons.
Although this is a terrible shock, it is a good thing that this has been uncovered and can be dealt with and that you can take steps to ensure that he is not around either your niece or other young girls while he gets the help he needs.

Intrusive thoughts/desires do not make a person inherently bad. It is what they do with those thoughts and how they manage them that defines their life and he has made a stupid, ugly choice, but he is very young and hopefully you can pull together to get the right support framework in place and help him move away from this awful behaviour.

You need professional help here, OP, and I would phone the NSPCC for advice here.

Um, has no one else noticed OPs username?
That is not the choice of a distraught loving parent trying to negotiate her child’s awkward sexual hiccups.

When your child does wrong and needs guidance, it’s not normal to call them a “cunt” and say you “fucking hate” them.

Proceed with caution, folks

I think you need better controls on your internet- he has obviously been watching a lot of porn over a period of time- so not really entirely his fault. Involving his cousin in his fantasies is disturbing, but quite natural- let's be clear here, he has not laid a hand on anyone.
Involving the police as an idea is ridiculous- this is a thought crime, disturbing , but understandable if he has had free access to porn on the internet.
Internet porn is a far cry from the few dirty mags my brother had under his bed.

I’d talk to him about what you found and that it isn’t normal at all, then book him some counselling sessions. I’d actually keep him away from his cousin.