Pervert son -please help me

[MotherOfARedPillCunt]

Please help me, I am absolutely devastated and don’t know what to do.

My son aged 12 accidentally came across his brothers chats which include him fantasising about getting his cousin pregnant SHE IS 12 & he is 16 and then he uploaded a photo of her where an AI but has taken off her clothes. I am absolutely beyond devastated. I love that little girl so much and feel like she has been massively violated. By my son and then by me for seeing her like that. My younger son who uncovered all of this is distraught - he’s best friends with her.

we were going to and see them all this summer but I am never letting him near her again. I can’t tell anybody because that just spreads the devastation but also I can’t look at them in the eye knowing this. She’s a smashing kid and we absolutely love her, I am heartbroken.

obviously I’ve taken my sons phone off him - he’s getting a brick until the end of school.
i have arranged a counsellor.
he already has a job lined up starting next week so as far as im concerned he can get on with it.
think he probably needs to see a GP re depression

I have raised my kids well and openly with discussions on porn and women’s rights on the table and since the last couple of years my son speaks to me with contempt which has often made me wonder if he’s been sucked into the man sphere. I know pregnancy fantasies are a charming motif of that lot.

but also I am really worried about the paedophilia side of this. I know for a fact that he won’t have gone near my niece as they live far away and we are all always together. he is incredibly shy.

is there anywhere I can get him seen…. Like a camp or something? Is there anywhere that takes these guys and sorts them out? A rehab? I’m a vocal and proactive mum; I practise what I preach, I call out misogyny instantly and still my son has fallen into this.

What he has done is completely unforgivable.i can’t look at him in the eye and really hate him and need to sort him out

You need to inform your family that you won’t be seeing them this summer. You do not allow your son near this child as a first step. Explain what you have found, as they will need to check she is unharmed - this part is essential.

Then you self refer for early intervention and assessment. You can not do this alone, and will need lots of support. You are being proactive by posting on here and asking for advice. Contact the GP , social care and NSPCC can also advise. I am sorry you are going through this, and sincerely hope that you can get some support quickly.

You son is 16. He is a child himself. I would start by calling the NSPCC and asking for advice. tel:08088005000 0808 800 5000. They are open 10 - 4 week days. You coukd ask anonymously if you are worried about tge repercussions.This predatory behaviour doesnt come out of nowhere. Id be worried tgat your son is at risk from older boys / adults as well as a risk to your niece.

Yes I noticed this too and I’ve got klaxons and alarm bells going off left, right and centre.

ETA: OP’s first post also doesn’t naturally scream ‘English as a second language’

indeed proceed with caution

You need to report it the non-emergency police line, 101. It’s what a mother who raises her son well would do, they’ll be wanting to offer him intervention. Please don’t be one of those mothers of boys who covers up the horrid things they do, guarantee he’ll do worse if you do.

I agree he stays at home for future meetings with family.

Glad someone read my post!
Calling your depressed CHILD a “red pill cunt” and saying you hate them doesn’t ring true; especially when OP is wanging on about what a wonderful mother she is.

School holidays

I don't think the fact that he told the ai she was 18 means it's not paedophilia, I think it means he ls not stupid and knows these things can report those sorts of questions.

I think you need to make sure the counsellor is specialised. It's not depression or normal teenage angst, you need someone quite specialised I think. But also you don't want to put him in that box as that's what he'll be.

I'd be highly concerned tbh. Definitely keep him away from the internet for the foreseeable and be careful he doesn't use his wages to buy himself a phone.

This - it seems very strange overall.

Hey guys, thanks for your advice and signposting, we have had several conversations obviously the first one was a complete screaming match. I’ve been through his phone thoroughly and there is nothin illegal on it. Some manosphere stuff, a few video clips, looksmaxxing crap and some gym bro nonsense.

I’ll get in contact with the charities when I get home, we are in Germany visiting grandparents at the moment. It’s been tough.

i am looking for an therapist that can deal with these things, you’re right, a counsellor won’t be enough.

Don’t really appreciate my tone, post and contents being picked apart by some of you . I am beyond distraught. I am beside myself with anger and upset and can give myself any username I want thanks. Right now yeah I do absolutely hate him and I stand by that.
@TofuTheCat

@LooksLikeIPickedTheWrongWeekToQuitDrinking

Also not going on about being a great mother - we have massively dropped the ball here. I feel like a massive failure. I am trying to explain that he has been brought up with very open and honest conversations around this.

Finally, I’m flattered you think I’m English.

Hi all,
Just to say that we have had a look at the OP's background with us and she's a long-standing poster who is clearly in a bit of distress, so we are giving her the benefit of the doubt for the moment. (We could stand to see the UM name changed, though, if you have a mo, Mother?)

You need to speak to the police OP. They'll know what path to take and what he's done is a crime and he needs to feel that.

Hopefully the girls parents gets the police involved if you don't. It'll.be better if you do it though.

I think the police is a good idea too. Sorey you're going through this op.

You need to take a step back off the ledge. What he's done is appalling but you're calling him a cunt and saying you hate him. That's not going to help anything. Please contact the Lucy faithful Foundation, they have a number of services that can support young people with harmful sexual behaviour and their families.

Please report this to either mash or the police! Your son is a child and needs professional help before he commits another crime and you can’t manage this on your own. Your other child also needs support and your niece needs to be spoken to by professsionals to, sorry to put it bluntly, make sure she has not been harmed… I’m sorry this has happened to you!

This is a police matter.
Im so sorry

The StopItNow service from the Lucy Faithfull foundation is a really great resource for this and I'd really encourage you to talk to them.

I can't tell you whether or not to report him to the police - that's up to you and is a very tough decision either way. What I will say is that, in all honesty, it's unlikely the police will take much action unless there is something else going on which you haven't found or which you haven't said. So I'd still be seeking support and help elsewhere regardless of what you decide to do.

He's a 16 year old whose hormones will be running wild. This is not a sensible age and nor does it necessarily set the foundations for what he will be like as an adult. I say this not to excuse but to give you hope. I very much hope he one day looks back on this and cringes inside out about his behaviour.

Regardless of whether or not you decide to go to the police, please do try to get him professional help and counselling asap.

I don’t think you’re to blame for any of this to be honest, it’s clear it’s not the type of environment he’s been raised in, this is on him + probably online exposure.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it seems awful. Well done for wanting to protect the little girl.

Listen to this op. Best advice, thus far

You need to go to the police. He needs more than counselling. He has created indecent images of a child he’s a pedophile. You can’t just ignore this.

OP, I cannot imagine your distress.
I love my boys to bits but I actually can well imagine your utter revulsion.

Some parents can only imagine ever loving their children no matter what, but I am one that doesn't believe in the face of a horrific crime of a sexual nature or involving a child, that a parent could lose that connection.

Every parent is different.
The OP loves her niece and to see her so young and innocent and manipulated like that must be devastating.
Not least for her younger son who's childhood has certainly been arrested by finding what he did.

I think OP the police is the right thing to do.
They will have the resources and the shock factor to deal with him.
He speaks to you badly?
Even more reason to involve the police.

What an earth do posters think the police will do? 'Hello, my son has used AI to predict what his cousin will look like as an 18 year old girl with a fully mature body?'. What he has done is awful, violiting and misogynistic as well as having the added concern that this is his cousin, not that it would be okay if it was a random girl either, but it is not illegal. Some posters seem to have little to no understanding of the current state of our police force. They often do not have enough officers to do normal policing work like turning up to burglaries or dealing with stolen property. They will definitely not be interested in this.

Your language about your son is disgusting and unacceptable. You say he has been raised in a open household where you have educated him about porn etc but given your name-calling, I think your parenting has not been as you've described.

What needs to happen is your son needs some education on why it's wrong to use Ai in this way, why it is violating and unacceptable. Asking for advice from the NSPCC would be a sensible and proportionate first step. Unfortunately many teenage boys, and many more MEN, are using AI for this purpose and so he is not alone in doing this.

God. That's disgusting. I'd smack the fuck out of him, she 12 years old for Christ's sake!

Police need to be involved here, he needs to know how serious this is, he could go to prison for creating those images.

OP, there is a helpline especially for this sort of situation:

https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/

Aimed at programmes to divert people from this kind of behaviour before he actually hurts a child.

16 is still very young. You're doing the right thing getting him help and taking steps to safeguard your niece and other children. I would try and find a way to forgive him too. As I said, he is still very young, I don't think him feeling completely ostracised and losing the love of his parents will help with changing the behaviour. If anything, it will push him deeper into the online world. He's at an age where things can change with the right support and guidance.

You cannot allow him to come into contact with her. Cancel your plans!