HarshbutTrue2: I understand the OP too and I find it bizarre that some PP interpret statements reflecting views about moral, respectful behaviour as statements reflecting a belief that men do and should "own" women with whom they are in relationships.
Women just as much as men are protective of their "romantic" relationships, resent their partners being "stolen" and are liable to go apeshit when it happens.
Rules and legislation about "professional relationships" attempt to regulate the behaviour of people who might abuse the power and privileged access afforded by positions of authority and trust.
They are designed to and should protect everyone equally, male and female, whether they are single, in a relationship or married and, crucially, children just as much if not more than adults.
What makes me uncomfortable about some of the responses on this thread is the knee-jerk lecturing about men not owning women that is interspersed with women berating and chiding the OP for not recognising the "professional" nature of a driving instructor's relationship with clients and the standards that therefore apply - and that this is happening on a Feminism Board.
What is this fantasy world where men do not operate in a brotherhood, "respectfully" asking each other's permission before dating one another's ex's? Or beating the shit out of one another for tapping up a current or previous partner?
Yes, that is hugely disrespectful of women and does reflect an atavistic attitude that women "belong" to men, in the same way that it was once thought normal and "respectful" for a man to ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage.
That is the patriarchy and it is alive and well. I don't have to like it but I don't ignore it and pretend that it does not exist.
(Would a matriarchy operate very differently?)
We also live in a world where women exact revenge on other women for threatening their relationships, whether those relationships are with men or with other women.
"Professional standards" and protection from abuse of positions of trust and authority are a distancing from hierarchical class-based relationships that permitted or tolerated sexual exploitation of those of lower standing. Ultimately, that usually goes back to which people (usually men) or their ancestors (usually men) were stronger, more cunning, wielded the sharper swords, commanded the better armies, etc.
All that has changed is that nowadays the punishment for that sexual predator driving instructor will be meted out by a professional regulatory body - and by the courts if he is ever prosecuted and convicted for sexual assault. Rather than summary justice and/or social disapprobation exacted by the victim's family, friends and local community - and possibly the perp's too.
It is heartening to me to see posts from PPs who express their understanding of the OP's focus on personal morality. I don't think she should be spoken down to just because she did not appreciate that the driving instructor owed her a professional duty of care.
The suggestions of "ageism" are a whole other subject. Suffice to say that IMHO the OP had a reasonable expectation that a man in his 70's should be aware that his sexual advances are very likely to be even more unwelcome by women much younger than him than by women around his own age.
Most men that age would also have reduced sexual impulsivity due to lower testosterone levels, advancing infirmity and possibly increased self-awareness. This expectation that they will be "safer" gives a false sense of security.
IMHO the likelihood is that this man has always been a sexual predator and age has not diminished the danger that he poses to women.
The idea that he might be behaving this way because he is "old school" might have some foundation. As evidenced by the testimony of PPs, it used to be common knowledge that many driving instructors were sexual predators.
They got away with it because other men thought it was a huge joke. It is not tolerated as quite such a huge joke now but most men would still love to be paid to spend time alone with a series of teenage girls in a job that allows them to "accidentally" grope girls in school uniform and nervous young women.
Sexual predators always have and always will be attracted to jobs and roles that give them easy access to victims.
There are boys, young men and middle aged men today who are sexual predators who will still be sexual predators in their 70's. They will be the "old school" driving instructors of tomorrow if young men today continue to be allowed to prey on women.
I hope the OP reports this man and that she finds a female driving instructor asap - and that she passes her driving test!
🙏