Is this driving instructor a pervert?

[littleMillie]

I hope it’s ok to past this here.
Been having driving lessons I’ve had four hours so far.
The instructor is an older man probably retirement age, lives local and is very well respected.
The first two lessons were uneventful apart from some knee tapping. I felt a bit uncomfortable but shrugged it off. The next lesson after I’d been driving he actually grabbed my thigh and squeezed it but in a jokey manner when he was saying something. I completely froze.
I know it’s not normal but is there a chance he’s just old school and thinks nothing of it? He’s got a family and a good reputation and great reviews so it’s left me questioning myself but I’m very very uncomfortable at the thought of getting in a car with him again.

Doesn’t sound right to me but it depends how you feel about it. I would either ask him firmly not to touch me again before I get into the car for the next lesson and judge his reaction OR switch instructors immediately. If you are not comfortable it’s perfectly OK not to have any more lessons with him.

My driving instructor was like this. I look back now and realise he was an utter perv. The only reason I think he didn’t go further is because he was big in rotary and a lot of his members knew my Dad. I would change asap.

The amount of these stories I hear is unreal. Yes he’s a pervert and totally inappropriate. My DH is a driving instructor and he tells me he gets pupils who tell him they stopped lessons due to last instructor being like this. My DH never ever would make any physical contact with a pupil, there’s absolutely never ever any reason for ur instructor to physically touch u

I am learning to drive now in my 40s because of a male instructor like this when I was 17. He knows what he’s doing.

Thanks ladies. I’ve been questioning myself over it but I’m not getting back in the car with him he makes my skin crawl.

Yes he is

I’m going to look for a new instructor. I’m so pissed off learning to drive is nerve wracking enough so it’s really put me off. There were comments as well that I’m sure were innuendos but again I thought it was just me.

Complete perv. And escalating. I would report him to driver standards agency. I wouldn’t hold your breath on them doing anything, but at least it might create a picture if there are other complaints.

Please report him to his employer. Imagine if you were a naive nervous 17 year old!

I feel such a fool I wish I’d said something at the time but I just froze. Then I thought maybe I’m touchy he’s just old school and tactile and taking it the wrong way.
He works for himself so no boss and also he knows where I live. And to add to that all his reviews are glowing, who would believe me if I did complain? It doesn’t make sense because all his students are young and pretty, and they all give him fab reviews. I’m older but younger than him maybe he thought he was in with a chance but even the fact I have a partner, you’d think he’d have more respect for another man’s woman.

You’ve lost me a “another man’s woman”. Really?

Freezing is a legitimate response to a threat. You were in an enclosed space and weren't sure what was happening. Freezing has allowed you to get away so don't blame yourself for your instinctive reaction. Definitely find another driving instructor. I agree about reporting him. What this man did isn't ok.

Many women would struggle to challenge him in this situation, it’s ok. Yes you could report him to the regulating body since he’s self employed. Don’t hesitate to leave a negative review.

Just figure of speech, it sounds like I’m his possession I didn’t mean it like that. My partner’s adorable. He’s my man I’m his woman it doesn’t mean possession. So yes really.

My DD had this from a driving tester! They think they can get away with anything ....

That’s a bizarre figure of speech I’ve never heard of before

It wasn't in Darlington was it? My friend's daughter had an upsetting experience with a driving tester. I don't know the details but she refused to report him.

Well we aren’t married yet so I’m not his wife. I’d be saying another mans wife if we were. Another man’s girlfriend, fiancé, wife, woman. I don’t know what’s bizarre about it why does it matter?

No, it’s the bit about another man’s woman that is bizarre

What the fact he should have more respect when I have a partner?
I’d have more respect than to touch up anyone knowing they have a partner it’s a shitty thing to do.

Having a partner is completely irrelevant

To you maybe. But to me if someone’s attached then they’re off limits.
I don’t know anyone that would make a move on someone and think it’s irrelevant if they have a partner. That is bizarre.

Nope still odd and irrelevant and a perv will still perv even if to quote you “another man’s woman” who even describes themselves as someone’s property, that’s fucking bizarre

He’s a perv and report him and I would leave a review online as well - subtle. Let people read between the lines if you don’t want to say what happened

This is totally unacceptable OP. Please find yourself another instructor. I was an instructor for 32 years, in the beginning of my career as a female instructor, I used to hear this type of tale a lot. More recently, 0I honestly thought that this type of abuse was dying out, but obviously not. Please report to the DVSA. If people constantly avoid reporting this type of behaviour, it will just carry on .