Transwoman on women's ward

[Sallycinnamum]

Had a minor gynae procedure today but nevertheless was very anxious leading up to it.

Was wheeled back to the day ward to be greeted quite literally (started waving at me) by a transwoman in the bed opposite me.

There was no doubt he was a man and being completely immobile due to a spinal anaesthetic with no underwear on I asked the nurse to completely close the curtains so he couldn't look directly at me.

Spoke to a nurse who confirmed it wasn't a mixed ward.

I am so upset. I felt so vulnerable especially as I couldn't walk so had to pee into a bedpan in clear earshot of him.

I've emailed PALS but I feel so bloody fed up of it all. Had a man next to me in the M&S lingerie changing rooms a few weeks ago and was made to feel like a total bigot when I complained to the staff.

I used to work on a (non gynae) ward and a trans woman was admitted. He went through all the paperwork etc etc, and after about an hour I said ‘is that a trans woman?’ to the nurse in charge of the ward. It was obvious it was. She just shrugged and said I don’t know. No one was interested, no one wanted to even have a conversation about it. He was moved to a different ward after a few hours but while he was there it was just like having an excitable 12 year old sat on the bed. Up, down, toilet, water, toilet again, coffee, on the phone, more water, it was almost as if he couldn’t believe his luck. There were elderly women on the ward, one with dementia, others of different ages, it was not good at all.

edited - I’m sure you’ll get help if PALS come back to you from all the women here if you need it.

WTH OP. This lunacy needs to stop. I hope you are soon home and get a suitable response from PALS.

Are you worried about the sex/gender of NHS staff members on wards? Or only patients?

The nurse who was looking after me completely empathised and made sure I had privacy but it's the gall of it that gives me the rage.

As he left, the ward sister actually said to another nurse make sure HE has his bag with him then quickly corrected herself to SHE.

I'll see what bullshit PALS comes back with.

Wards are meant to be single sex.
(Plus of course you can ask for intimate care to be done by HCP of same sex.)

Outrageous. I doubt hospital staff want or need the inevitable hassle of the possible backlash but this is why single sex provision needs to be a default in law, policy and practice.

Generally women will be anxious, preoccupied, vulnerable and won’t kick up a fuss but you can bet your bottom dollar if men needs validation in that way they won’t give a shit about anyone else’s comfort, dignity or safety. It will all be about them.

Consent is not transferable. Just because you’re ok with sharing with men doesn’t mean everyone has to be

In what universe is this relevant to the OP?

With respect, your experience or feelings about this situation are irrelevant. If the OP feels her privacy and dignity were not respected then that is all that matters. She has the right to be on a single sex ward and this wasn’t maintained.

That’s actually not the point. You could have 99% of the ward being perfectly lovely well behaved men. But they’re still men.

What does this mean though?

A) you knew they were trans. Despite being unwell enough to sectioned you have logged that this person in your proximity was male.

B) there not having been an untoward incident that you were aware of, or it not bothering you is of no relevance. I live with males I don't mind sharing sleeping and washing spaces with. Doesn't mean I think women in hospital shouldn't have single sex spaces and care.

An alternative opinion to what?

if wards are single sex they should be exactly that. Single sex. Men are not women. The Supreme Court has clarified this.

OP take this complaint as far as you can if you are able to. The NHS acting illegally has to stop.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

They are breaking the law. It's illegal to have a male patient on a female only ward, as confirmed by the Supreme Court.

Are you speaking for every woman in the ward? Just because there was no obvious incident does not mean that the others were happy. Women often stay silent, especially when in a vulnerable position.

My adult daughters are both adopted and experienced significant physical and psychological harm in their birth family which has left them highly anxious and hypervigilant at all times. The idea they could cope with a trans woman in a mental health ward is absurd. Their anxiety would be off the scale. You cant accept this huge boundary transgression on their behalf.

Oh I made sure to mention the Supreme Court Ruling in my email to PALS.

That's not the point though is it? If it's a women's ward it's based on biological sex.

We've seen a male doctor who identifies as a woman say that they would treat a female patient who had specifically requested a female doctor so yes we do need to worry about NHS staff as well as other patients

This is completely insane. A man on a woman’s ward. Please do complain, this lunacy must stop.

Lord I thought this was Christina before checking.

Just to offer an alternative opinion, I have shared a bed with a man before and never been raped so there shouldn’t be any issues with every other one of the 4 billion women on the planet doing so either. See how stupid that sounds?

Yes, of course we’d be worried about the sex of staff.
If it were a man pretending to be a woman it would be an issue. It suggests mental health issues and an inability to understand reality since humans can’t change sex.

Yes that’s definitely a comparable scenario 🥴

Good for you.

Another woman in exactly the same situation was raped.