Transwoman on women's ward

[Sallycinnamum]

Had a minor gynae procedure today but nevertheless was very anxious leading up to it.

Was wheeled back to the day ward to be greeted quite literally (started waving at me) by a transwoman in the bed opposite me.

There was no doubt he was a man and being completely immobile due to a spinal anaesthetic with no underwear on I asked the nurse to completely close the curtains so he couldn't look directly at me.

Spoke to a nurse who confirmed it wasn't a mixed ward.

I am so upset. I felt so vulnerable especially as I couldn't walk so had to pee into a bedpan in clear earshot of him.

I've emailed PALS but I feel so bloody fed up of it all. Had a man next to me in the M&S lingerie changing rooms a few weeks ago and was made to feel like a total bigot when I complained to the staff.

And the words woman and man in the EA2010 relate to biological sex.

keep it up sunshine.

Don’t conflate the protected characteristic of sex with that of gender reassignment. A TW having the latter doesn’t permit him access to women single sex spaces.

I’m sure you were not so silly to think that it did?

I was recently on a gastro surgical ward, single sex bay, during very hot weather so we were all wearing light/short pyjamas, and had our curtains open around our beds. I woke up to find an elderly man in the next bed, when I asked the nurse to help him with something she corrected me to ‘she’. He would lie in bed watching everyone, we all ended up closing our curtains around our beds for privacy, in stifling heat. There were also several elderly women in the bay who were upset by the presence of a man in the bay.

It’s a fucking joke.

Absolutely fucking outrageous. I'm so sorry.

Agree. Moreover this is someone who presumably has some knowledge of human anatomy 🙄 trying to gaslight women including elderly women at their most vulnerable.

I know this is an old post but these seem quite unpleasant to me, unless I am misunderstanding.

'Forgetting about toilets etc for a minute, I think it's safe to say that very few people consider homosexuality as a mental illness, even before we had any idea of what caused it (we still don't know really).

Why is this?

Why is a non default sexual identity much more acceptable than a non default gender identity?

And why do so many lesbians adopt masculine personas and gay men adopt feminine personas?'

• do you think it IS a mental illness? Or do you mean something else?

No one has an issue with gender presentation on here. The issue is insisting biological sex is irrelevant, dangerous surgery etc. Homosexuality does not require any of these things.

A lot of trans people do end up being gay if they detransition, and I think that's because gay people are more likely to be gnc. Brain studies have shown lesbians often have more male typical brains and vice versa (as do some straight people)..

I'd find it less confounding if homosexual individuals acted exactly the same as other members of their sex aside from their choice of sexual partners but they don't. Lesbians often have masculine haircuts, dress in a masculine fashion, and have butch demeanors whilst gay men often have camp mannerisms and gravitate towards female friend groups, etc etc.

• why do you find it 'confounding'? Gay people are a bit more likely to be gnc, what's the issue with that?

A lot of gender markers are culturally shaped, anyway.

there have been studies showing the decline of many of these things as social acceptance increases.

• that's a good point, but they're not bad and don't HAVE to decline. I think lesbians are probably a bit more likely to be gnc than straight women, and vice versa.

And it seems common for one to be 'the woman' and one to be 'the man'.

• Again, this seems pretty offensive. Odd for someone who has lesbian friends, as you say...

A woman acting in a more traditionally masculine way isn't being 'the man'. If that were the case, lesbians who paid with masculine women would date men instead. And vice versa.

Hmm...I'm not sure if there was pressure 'conform' to the butch lool before. Many just liked it. There was some, I think, but feminine lesbians gave always been a thing too.

Although factors like having experienced abuse seem to also be comorbid in many cases.

• you think lesbianism is caused by SA?

Or am I misunderstanding...? I hope so.

Surely the issue is that you're not being put in a single sex ward? If it's mixed then it's going to have men.

Doh, misread the OP. 🤦

If its not mixed sex then yes he shouldn't be in there. I wouldn't let it slide because that's how they get away with it.

It helps if you remember that many men claiming to be TIM ( trans identifying males) are in fact men who have a sexual perversion or paraphilia. Some paraphilia are apparently more acceptable than others. Not many people would be happy to share space in work or be served in a restaurant by a man dressed head to foot in latex with a ball gag in his mouth. Or sit next to someone in leather bondage gear on the 8.27 from Surbiton. Or exchange gardening tips with a sweaty fifty year old dressed as a baby with a dummy and nappy. But apparently a paraphilia which involves dressing as a woman when you are a man is absolutely fine and none of us should bat an eyelash extension. Just try not to think of the erection beneath the man sized ladies underwear.

😂

Disgusting, OP. I think you should escalate this complaint.

This is an old thread now no?

Not an irrational fear.

They can get medical help on the appropriate ward. If they are transwomen the appropriate ward would not be a women’s ward. Maybe you can get help for your hyperbole.

Why did you edit? Either stand by your opinion, or if you realise you were wrong, say so. No shame in either of those things. What's with the 😂 face??

I imagine they edited because they were talking complete nonsense.

Thank you for the update, and please keep going, OP. Strange that she would call with that line about 'fully transitioned' then get panicky, something must be shifting in the background.

I could have spent 45 years living as a cat. That doesn't make me a cat. It also doesn't make it appropriate for me to be treated at the vets.