Transwoman on women's ward

[Sallycinnamum]

Had a minor gynae procedure today but nevertheless was very anxious leading up to it.

Was wheeled back to the day ward to be greeted quite literally (started waving at me) by a transwoman in the bed opposite me.

There was no doubt he was a man and being completely immobile due to a spinal anaesthetic with no underwear on I asked the nurse to completely close the curtains so he couldn't look directly at me.

Spoke to a nurse who confirmed it wasn't a mixed ward.

I am so upset. I felt so vulnerable especially as I couldn't walk so had to pee into a bedpan in clear earshot of him.

I've emailed PALS but I feel so bloody fed up of it all. Had a man next to me in the M&S lingerie changing rooms a few weeks ago and was made to feel like a total bigot when I complained to the staff.

@dylexicdementor11

I doubt any members of female or male staff have their genitalia on full display.

Mixed wards are an abomination, and should only be tolerated in situations such as a high dependency ward or intensive care where it makes sense not to dilute the expertise of the staff. But you could argue that a mixed ward says what it is on the tin, so you know what to expect, whereas a ward which is labelled and presented as a ward for female patients should also stick to what it is with no surprises.

By the sound of it, it was a day surgery ward, not a gynae ward.

Nah

Fuck off

Yeah, stop trolling. No one says that. People who acknowledge the reality of sex know it's not about fertility.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, OP. I hope you get a decent response from PALS along with an apology from the hospital and an undertaking that this will not happen again.

It may also be worth contacting Sex Matters: www.sex-matters.org

You are a charmer I aren't you? So very 'be kind' of you.
I'm a mother of two thanks to are fairly simple fix but no a women who's reproductive system doesn't work is still a female. That's why there are women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s. We don't stop being women once we can no longer have children. What do they teach you in TRA biology class?

Oh and don't ever pull that sorry attempt at a gotcha on a woman who is in the midst of infertility that would be unspeakably cruel.

Ps. Nice misogyny in assuming it's the woman with fertility issues rather than the man.

You don’t need the word ‘cisgender’. Woman will be fine.

By that mental logic, younger female children aren’t female and neither is anyone above the age of 50ish.

Don’t be so silly.

Oh dear, you're really quite thick aren't you?

That's awful - and illegal (and always has been). I hope you are well soon and get a proper response to a justifiable complaint.

That's what it means. They think they've hit on a gotcha. Insufferable pricks are like that you see.

Back to your basement for you matey.

calling me an 'insufferable prick' and 'really quite thick'? aren't you lovely? i bet you live a really happy and fulfilling life

A neo vagina is not a vagina. It is a pouch made from an inverted penis inserted into a cavity cut into a man’s pelvic area. It is not self cleaning so has to be manually cleaned regularly otherwise it stinks and can get infected, it thinks it is a wound that needs to heal which is why it has to be dilated manually several times a day to stop this happening and closing up. It does not lubricate itself like a vagina, does not have the sensitivity of a vagina, can not expand to a size to allow a baby to pass through, does not lead to a cervix or a uterus.

I always think of them like those body modifications people have done, you know, the spilt tongues, horns, tattooed eyeballs, flesh tunnels - pointless and probably bloody painful.

Biology is what makes a woman a woman. The ability to actually bear children is irrelevant. But then you know that.

it's actually crazy how scared of transwomen mumsnet users are when they probably encounter multiple of them a day lol. they're probably serving you at a till or are your doctor or (shock horror!) teaching your children and you're none the wiser hah

i don’t think anyone’s broken the law though have they. As I understand it’s not illegal to allow trans women access to a single sex space, it’s just not illegal for organisations/institutions to deny care and services to a trans woman in a single sex space if they find it appropriate. Or have I got the wrong end of the stick? Happy to be corrected by someone who actually knows, not just someone blinded by personal bias.

I do. Thanks for caring.

I’m not sure you can be offended at being called a prick when you targeted @GetDressedYouMerryGentlemen ‘s potential infertility, to be honest.

I think you knew that when you made the comment, there was every chance she was currently childless and broken over it, had suffered however many pregnancy losses and/or was going through treatment just now.

Took the low road there.

You think that if it makes you feel better.