I feel so alone

[Yorkshireteaalwayswins]

I’m really struggling right now. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 10 years ago and put on sertraline. All was well until I started Mounjaro at the beginning of this year. I noticed my mood starting to dip but I was aware that low mood was a potential side effect and I wasn’t planning on staying on Mounjaro for long due to cost.
In May my anxiety returned briefly on holiday but abated once I got home so I thought it was a blip. In July it returned full force and I went to the doctor. She told me to stop the Mounjaro immediately as she said it affected mental health if that was something you were prone to. Luckily I already had by then.
Due to low libido she offered to change me to Vortioxetine as it had less of an impact. I tried it for 10 weeks before quitting as all I experienced was either really bad depression or extremely heightened anxiety. I have been back on sertraline for 11 days today and I feel no better. No appetite at all, constantly feeling sick plus palpitations and always feeling scared. I know I must love my husband but I can’t feel it right now. He just feels like a mate who I can’t connect with.
I keep telling myself that it’s just the medication and to give it time but it’s been so long already. I feel so alone and that I’ll never be happy again. I’m terrified that my marriage will be ruined and my husband will be devastated. I’ve had insomnia but the last two nights so I’m exhausted too.
I don’t know what I want from this but I needed to tell someone.

Hey OP, just wanted to send you some love and understanding. You're trying your best. Can you chat to the doc again and ask for other options? And keep communicating with your husband. For today can you get out in the fresh air and get some good healthy food in you? Have a Sunday pause, tomorrow is another day xx

Sure you don’t have to figure it your feelings out right now or today or anything.. antidepressants take 2 weeks to start to work.. I’ve been through that wobbly stage, where you’re anxious can’t sleep, feel scared.. I got put on ecitoprazolam.. the balance app lets you pay 5 pounds and does relaxation meditation and CBeebies daydreams are good mindfulness distractions.. can you join your local ramblers ? They usually cost 5-10 pounds a year and get you out in fields in 5 mile circular walks.. England is so beautiful

Hi thanks for your message. I have a doctors appointment scheduled for Wednesday so I can speak to her but I’m losing hope for improving. All she can offer is upping the dose which will give me more adjustment symptoms and I honestly don’t know if I have it in me. I’ll definitely be asking for sleeping pills though.
I have a meal for my brothers engagement later so I’ll try to eat then but it honestly makes me feel nauseous just thinking about it.
This is honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever been through but thank you for your message.

@Yorkshireteaalwayswins I can relate to what you’re going through . I have anxiety it comes and goes. When it’s bad it’s really bad have once or twice felt like I was going mad. Was close to going to an and e but on balance what can they actually do ? for me when it’s bad i take it a day at a time only can’t think further than that . I tell myself it will pass and it always, always does .. exercise and yoga are my main tools though Ive slipped with that lately next week back to it. Hugs to you it’s brutal - feel free to message me

I don't have any advice OP just want you to know you're not alone. I'm really struggling at the moment with anxiety and depression.

@buggermewhatnext @theretheirtheyre2026 thank you both for being there. It’s so hard trying to be positive for the future when you’re stuck in this loop. I have no motivation to do anything even though I know exercise would be good for me. I just want to hide and sleep but now I can’t even do that. Hopefully some sleeping pills will help.
Thinking of you both and praying that we can get through this.

Hi how are we all doing today ?

Hi @buggermewhatnext I'm a little calmer than Sunday but probably because I'm hiding from life. I'm just keeping to myself and waiting for the medication to start working. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow and will speak to her but as I've only been back on the sertraline for 2 weeks, I don't think anything will change. Just need to wait. How are you doing?

@Yorkshireteaalwayswins hi Im a bit calmer today also. Mind you I was very anxious . Managing to work but f course it’s a bit of a struggle. Am eating better so that’s good . Sleep still a bit sketchy will see how I go . Next step is too exercise as that massively helps but step by step . Glad your a bit better

Hi how are we all doing today ? Im okish .. slept badly so always makes me feel worse. Did some exercise that’s helped a lot . Planning more on Sunday . It’s an uphill climb..

@buggermewhatnexthi im sorry sleep is being such an issue. It always makes me feel worse too. I’ve bought some pukka sleep tea which I’m trying tonight.
I’m in a weird place really. I feel like the medication is kicking in as my mood is lifting but the anxiety symptoms are still bad. No appetite still but I’m forcing myself to eat. I’ve still got no connection to my husband and when he flirts or banters with me re sex, I shut down and back off. Stupid childhood trauma has resurfaced, I think due to the fact that I’ve been in such an anxious state for so long. I’m having counselling but who knows how long it will take to fix. It’s so frustrating and disheartening. I just want my life back.

You’re doing really well - your pills work better and better every day so hang on in there. Keep fighting the meals down - that will also help.

Box breathing works a treat - Google it - it physically calms your nervous system down to ease the thought.

Everyone, but everyone, has dreads of eg relationship problems and everything else. Fear doesn’t tell the truth - and we all have negative bias to our thinking. Give the fear thoughts a name - I suggest Cuthbert - and tell him kindly he’s a bit OTT.

Hi OP, I just wanted to tell you my experience. I have had OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) since my teens. In my early 30s I experienced anxiety attacks. I had some CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) on the NHS, which really helped me with the anxiety. Then in my forties I had more counselling which identified the OCD.

I now feel it is under control. I am on a low dose of Sertraline and I have had talking therapies which really helped.

Have you tried a charity like MIND?

F

I have never heard of MJ being linked to depression. This is new to me.

Well I slept well last night which is a blessing . Still feel anxiety in the pit of my stomach. It eases a bit during the day . Wish it wasn’t there though makes everything so much harder ! On low dose of fluoxetine dont think it’s doing much

Thank you, I've felt very disconnected today and I'm wondering if this is DPDR as I feel like i'm behind a piece of glass watching everything. I'm doing my best to keep going and trust the medication to work for me. I try box breathing and tapping but they don't always work. Ill keep going.

Hi thanks for your message. I'm sorry that you are going through something too but i'm also glad that you feel more under control. I have my talking therapies consultation call on Monday so hopefully that will lead somewhere. It's good to hear that it helped, it gives me hope. I havent looked at Mind; what would you recommend?

Stupid childhood trauma has resurfaced
I'm very sorry to say this may be behind your feelings. It is indeed incredibly isolating to feel like the rest of the world is busy and happy and you are locked in your own head.

How is your day to day life? Are you getting up, getting dressed and going out?

I don't think it's listed but feedback from people on TikTok and forums like this have shown me that many people have suffered with their mental health whilst on MJ. It does make sense when you think about it. 95% of seratonin is made in our gut. If you start messing with your gut and digestion, it's likely to affect seratonin.

Im glad you slept well, it makes all the difference. The morning anxiety is tough though, i definitely agree. What dose of fluoxetine are you on and for how long? Would you consider increasing?

Maybe get your mind stable and ditch the MJ?

Yes isolating is a good word. I'm glad i've started the counselling but it feels like its going to be a long journey and i'm desperate for some relief. I've felt awful since July and it feels like so long.
With regards to day-to-day life, i work full time from home and i get dressed everyday. Generally in the same hoody etc but it's better than my pyjamas. I don't really go out unless I have to, like food shopping. I have friends who have been through this so i have spoken to them but it's been going on so long, I feel that i'm boring them. I just need a sign that things will get better. This tunnel feels long and dark.

In total honesty, I HEAR YOU.
You have started counselling, you are taking meds, you are managaing to work.
A tremendous effort.
If you had 2 broken legs, you'd get sympathy and understanding.

Head stuff is just as valid.

One thing that has massively helped me is acupuncture.

Keep going.

How old are you? Also do you think you could have ADHD - in women lifelong anxiety and depression can be the main presentations.