I feel so alone

[Yorkshireteaalwayswins]

I’m really struggling right now. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 10 years ago and put on sertraline. All was well until I started Mounjaro at the beginning of this year. I noticed my mood starting to dip but I was aware that low mood was a potential side effect and I wasn’t planning on staying on Mounjaro for long due to cost.
In May my anxiety returned briefly on holiday but abated once I got home so I thought it was a blip. In July it returned full force and I went to the doctor. She told me to stop the Mounjaro immediately as she said it affected mental health if that was something you were prone to. Luckily I already had by then.
Due to low libido she offered to change me to Vortioxetine as it had less of an impact. I tried it for 10 weeks before quitting as all I experienced was either really bad depression or extremely heightened anxiety. I have been back on sertraline for 11 days today and I feel no better. No appetite at all, constantly feeling sick plus palpitations and always feeling scared. I know I must love my husband but I can’t feel it right now. He just feels like a mate who I can’t connect with.
I keep telling myself that it’s just the medication and to give it time but it’s been so long already. I feel so alone and that I’ll never be happy again. I’m terrified that my marriage will be ruined and my husband will be devastated. I’ve had insomnia but the last two nights so I’m exhausted too.
I don’t know what I want from this but I needed to tell someone.

That's great- well done. You must have felt so relieved.

I'm okay actually at the moment. Mums still in hospital, I went to see her today, and came home with 3 bags of wet clothes where she has been incontinent. She didn't know who I was most of the time I was there.

Dp has been working on the renovation- I feel so guilty that he's working so hard on it and I seem to show little appreciation for it. I am so appreciative. It's just that I'm still sorting out stuff of my late fathers, I'm away for the next 4 weeks with work and my house is needs a good clean (had a good cleaner until she tidied my office and mixed up all my paper work that she was told not to touch!).

I just feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. Thankfully my anxiety is okay at the moment, and where I thought I was spiralling it didn't turn into anything.

I have yet to cry over my dad passing in April. I haven't cried over my Mum. It's like I need a bloody good sob, but since being on risperidone I've lost the ability to cry, and I miss it! I used to cry at the drop of a hat. Reading the news, watching a tv programme, sad news from friends. But now, nothing! Am I odd????

Hi how are we all doing today . First time in weeks Ive woken without anxiety ! . Sleep Is still not the best though am going to try magnesium glycinate heard it can help. Appetite is back so again a win. Aware this comes and goes so for now I will take the good bit.

I am so relieved. I know I may dip again as I'm only on day 6 of my dose increase but I'm just enjoying feeling a little better while it lasts. I'm off for a vitamin b12 injection this morning too so hopefully that will help too.

I'm glad you're feeling ok at the moment but it does sound like you have a lot on your plate at the moment so take care of yourself too. I'm sorry about your mum though, it's hard when they have bad days. My MIL has Alzheimer's and is in a care home. She has good days and bad days so I can understand how you feel.

The crying thing is a weird one, isn't it? I've had days where I just couldn't cry (even though I thought it would help) and it is the oddest feeling. I wonder if sometimes our brain's just can't cope with more emotion and say "nope!" Hopefully it'll come back as a good cry is so cathartic.

Hi @buggermewhatnext congratulations on the anxiety-free morning, that must have felt so good. My sleep still isn't great though I'm waking up less. I just want to stop waking up at 5.30am and that being me for the day. I want a sleep in! I'm taking magnesium glycinate and while I haven't seen any miracles so far, I'm continuing in the hope that it helps in the long term. It can't hurt!

I have some of my appetite back and it's so good. My husband loves his food and I always felt so bad, not wanting to eat or go out for a meal. I think we underestimate how much pleasure we get from food.

@buggermewhatnextWell done on an anxiety free morning! It's great isn't it when you wake and wait for the normal feeling and it isn't there. Bliss.

@YorkshireteaalwayswinsThanks I'm trying to take it easy. I get up every morning around 5am. Have done since I hit peri. I thought HRT would help a little with that but it's made no difference lol.

It's great when you get your appetite back. I agree with your comment about how much we underestimate the pleasure we get from food. Whenever I'm low in mood I either don't want to eat, or am ravenous but for all the wrong food- crisps, chocolate, cake, take aways. When my mood is stable I enjoy cooking healthy and home made comfort food. I think when my mood is low it's convenience food, things I don't have to think about, or concentrate on. Pay day is a few days away yet, so the fridge is empty but my cupboards and freezer are full- so tonight it's ham baguettes with home made chips I think. My ex's partner told me to boils the chips for 5 mins, dry them off then air fry until cooked about 16-18 minutes. They come out really nice. I must admit I'm useless with the air fryer. Ds21 can cook anything in it, I'm hit or miss lol!!

Hi all … well day 2 of no morning anxiety ! Im taking that as a win. Don’t know if it’s coincidence but have started taking magnesium glycinate - anyone tried this ?.aware that this could/will come back at some point but for now I will take this . Hope we’re all doing ok

Hi @buggermewhatnext congratulations on your non-anxious morning! Was today the same?
My mood has dipped a bit which is hard but I knew it would happen. I took an OTC sleeping tablet last night and slept pretty well but I dont want to rely on them. I have been taking magnesium for about 3 weeks now and Im not sure how much good it's doing but I'll keep going for now.
@theretheirtheyre2026 how were your air fryer chips? Ive never been able to get them to cook properly!

@YorkshireteaalwayswinsThey didn't turn out as well as my son does them! Sorry to read your mood is dipping, it sucks when that happens. Keep an eye on it.

I fell asleep last night about 8:15pm, slept until 2:00am, woke and took a promethazine and went back to sleep about 2:45am and slept until 4:30am. So although it was early morning, I got a few decent hours in. Had no anxiety so that's a win.

Been on a Teams call all day. I don't think I've ever been so quiet. Just didn't have the energy to participate. There are a couple of dominant characters in the team (lovely people though), so just let them get on with it.

One of my friends uses her air fryer for everything but i just cant get along with it. The only things i manage to cook are meat like sausages, breaded chicken, salmon and gammon joints (which are a favourite).
I'm keeping an eye on my mood but I honestly expected the dip as I never escape side effects. It was bound to happen so at least it wasn't a surprise. Hopefully the 100mg will kick in soon and I can enjoy some anxiety-free mornings like you and @buggermewhatnext.

How are u feeling today @Yorkshireteaalwayswins??