friends say 'talk to me' and when I do they cant handle it

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Tonight I have upset a dear friend cos she asked if I was 'still feeling suicidal'. so I said yes, but not quite so bad as before. She then said she didnt understand how the health system could let me go feeling this way, but we all know it is crap, so I made a joke - ok a sick joke, but at my expnese. But now I ahve really upset her.

This has happened before. People say to ring them if I feel bad, but really they dont know what ot say.

It is such a lonely plasce mental health

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I am 38

I have a dh (he has a life threadetning illness)

I ahve 2 DSs who are doing well (but both had serious health prbs)

I have a mentla health disorder, clincial depression, ED, SH, alcoholic, you name it, I have it

Dior and Zippi keep takling

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i suddenly just want to cryim sat alone in the quiet.friend i was talking to on msn has been booted off and cant get back on again.god im going end up drinking at this rate

i have a good idea of your situation too naswm

andf hi coping quietly

hey you lot! Don't be sad.
Am feeling bad for having a little drink now, but am going to get away from this PC, do something constructive and then tomorrow will be a better day (I hope!) HAd bit of nightmare day, but nothing I couldn't handle with a bit of inane giggling and being a twat as usual.
I think you all sound lovely. I used to be depressive (am much better now) adn every day is not that easy for some people, I know.

Get away from computer and listen to music or whatever floats you're boat. You are worth it!!!
UMM, must write a list of music I want to listen to/films I want to see someday....

naswm. OH God, can't beleive I just said 'don't be bloody sad' Hadn't read all thread. Sorry. Life is shit. X

wowoo hi too

my main problem is not so much depression as unpredicatble mood swings and fear/agitation/unreality

tho i only think its not depression because today im not feeling particularly depressed tho i am totally demotivated

i have got through a whole year at college and now the last few weeks i can hardly bring myself to go and havent done any work so i might go from distinction to fail and i cant believe i am doing that but i cant do anything about it

have you gone naswm

why d'you think i spend so much time on here??

tis v isolating when half the time, the things you have to say are, erm, not v cheerful and a bit utterly self absorbed and quite mental.

ive been suicidal a lot lately... but its weird, not like a desperate suicidal (well, not always) more like a sort of acceptance that its the most sensible/appealing course of events, you know? im quite cold and dispassionate about it, it just seems to make perfect sense that i no longer exist and no sense at all that i do.

ho hum. not feelign that way today so am pleased about that anyway.

sweet dreams all - wish you peace

Zipititippitoesy - i thought i'd thread killed again.
You won't have wasted the year. talk to someone ASAP and defer something a bit? Or get a bit of a lower grade (not usre how it all works) Not the end of the world. Argh ARGH - know that kind of feeling though. Good luck! Talk to a tutor soon though!

Boyz, I used to know what you mean. If you know what I mean! And still do!!
Sleep well and eat well all. x

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very bad indeed

I feel as though I have exhausted all my options. I cant think of anything else to try.

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zippi, hi, i hope you feel better soon x

Naswm, i hope YOU feel better soon, is there anyone you can talk to in real life, even the samaritans???

I have friends who say things like that, but if they really knew how I feel and the kinda thoughts I have they wouldn't. They wouldn't understand anyway even if i di tell them, and Id just get frustrated about it.

Ive tred talking to people b4 in the past and it just causes more problems than it solves.

I find its best to keep quiet, and pretend to everyone else that its all OK. No point in letting it ruin their lives as well as mine.

I have friends who say things like that, but if they really knew how I feel and the kinda thoughts I have they wouldn't. They wouldn't understand anyway even if i di tell them, and Id just get frustrated about it.

Ive tred talking to people b4 in the past and it just causes more problems than it solves.

I find its best to keep quiet, and pretend to everyone else that its all OK. No point in letting it ruin their lives as well as mine.

and now I got the 'official line' from my therapist so it seems even she has had evnough of me

where do I turn now?

naswm, not sure what has happened with your therapist???? Would you share that, so we can help?? The samaritans are always on the end of a phone, and there is usually someone here, even if you have to wait a while. They CAN'T just leave you with no help at all. Do you have a social worker? CPN? Sorry im not fully aware of your situation but you say your DH is sick - do you get any help with this?? wish i knew what to say

have you spoken to your friend since wednesday?

Hi NASWM {hugs}

I know what you mean about people who say "talk to me". I have the same problem, although I've now found a lovely lady who has said it AND means it AND understands what I am feeling. It really sounds like its a question of finding someone who knows what you're going through and has come out the other side. Do you know anyone who fits into that category, and more importantly you feel you can trust to be there for you?

And don't forget, there are always people here on MN for you too... xxx

I made the mistake of answering honestly when asked how I was and now no one really talks to me.

thanks lucy and Mary ( still have the pic of the flowers you sent last year via DG) and hi NAB

therpaist prob - I crossed the boundary between friendship and therpiast. A hard one

now I am alone