Health Anxiety - Part 4

[polkadotpixie]

I hope no-one minds me starting a follow up thread. I know some people were waiting for me to update so I thought I would but happy to ask MNHQ to delete if one of the long term posters wanted to start it 😊

I do so relate to the downward spiral. So far this week I’ve been to the dentist for a totally innocuous ulcer on my tongue, am covered in bruises so convinced I have blood cancer and have just examined my breasts and found a slightly red area and am terrified of inflammatory breast cancer. So 3 cancers in a week. Am due back at work next week after 3 weeks off and so want to go back but who knows how I’ll feel then? I know I can’t go on (not) living like this but nothing I’ve tried so far has worked. Sometimes I wish I was blind so I couldn’t see my body. Desperately trying to hold it together for 21 year old DD who’s in final year at uni and very stressed about exams etc. Sorry about the me me me post, know you’re all struggling too.

We are twins me and you @Skyliner001 😂

@AJ297 yes I always feel the need to clear my throat too it’s an anxious thing I think!x

@HildegardeCrowe completely sympathise with you it’s awful when you self diagnose so much, I’m just the same x

@HildegardeCrowe Never any need to apologise here, I totally get you, totally understand the exhaustion from this type of thinking. I've also been there! Haven't had so much blood cancer anxiety, but have had it in the past, mainly related to bruising, or a rash. Also empathising with finding a red spot on the breast, I get that too

@AJ297 yes I get this often, sometimes I find it really hard to speak as well, and have to constantly clear my throat, your description is really accurate. I think it is that lump in throat thing. If I'm having a bad day I somehow managed to connect it to my breasts feeling weird. I'm not quite sure how

@tmh88 We are!! 😂😂

@tmh88 and @Skyliner001, it’s such a relief to have your understanding. Have you ever found a way to stop/reduce checking once you’re worried about something?

Not yet, but I am working on it! I do try and delay as much as possible, and sometimes I find my mind moves onto something else.

As soon as I have any better theories I will pass them on!

I do write things down such as 'I've checked that and it feels like this which is the same as it was / is better / has been the same way for ten years etc.'

Basically if I do manage to diffuse my negative thinking with some thoughts I write them down and then I can think 'okay I wrote it down, I don't need to check again...' if sometimes works

Thanks @Skyliner001. I take photos of things too and compare them! Yes delaying is good if you can do it and any type of distraction. Do you sometimes think that it’s an ultimate fear of death that makes us like this? I think I’m more afraid of having a terminal illness and how it would diminish me and affect my loved ones.

Sorry for this random one.. but is anyone else’s skull lumpy? I have quite a hard bone that sticks out a bit on the top right hand side of my head! I’ve never noticed it before but never felt my head before I was under the impression the skull is smooth! 😂

@tmh88 no but my son does, I panicked that he had a problem with his skull but after extensive research skulls are just lumpy and bumpy dependant on how the bones fuse, if you spent a lot of time on a certain part of your head etc. Mine isn't symmetrical and has a bigger groove on one side x

I have a weird dent in my forehead @tmh88 😂

Yes @HildegardeCrowe I think it is that, and also the fear of being out of control. I also worry about people that I would leave behind, and this worry is quite continue all.

@AJ297 that’s reassuring to know thank you! Mines a bit tender but I think it’s because I’ve been pushing down on it all day 😂 it’s like a ridge/boney lump! Hard to describe really x

Now I’m thinking about it I did bump my head where that lump is in about 2018.. could it be that? It did bleed when I hit it

Has anyone managed to just stop worrying about every little symptom? Or managed to find a place of calm where they can react to a feared symptom in a rational way and go to the GP if things don’t resolve in a timely fashion? I’m thinking not or we wouldn’t all be here 😟

@Skyliner001 I have my appointment for the Covid vaccine next week as well, and I’m in the same boat as you. I phoned to try and push it back (again) but they are so booked up it’s next Friday or wait until July. I’m terrified of the side effects, and trying to stay away from all this news about blood clotting issues but as I’m sure you can all relate to, researching can be very addicting! I just don’t know what to do and the thought of being in this state of panic for another week is not great.. and then the panic if I get any side effects and think they are something more sinister... it’s very hard!

@Ashmarie I had the AstraZeneca which is the one where they have reported blood clots but like 22 cases in 18 million people. I can tell you about my symptoms, I had mine because I work for the NHS and people at work have had all sorts of side effects but none serious. So if you do get yours I can be on hand to tell you if I know of other people who have had the same 🙂

@AJ297 you’re so kind, thank you. I know the chance is so tiny but still very worrying. I’m going to try and talk myself into it over the weekend!

@Ashmarie Hello, as you can see we are totally in the same boat! I've decided to go ahead with it, and will keep a detailed diary of any symptoms here!

Morning everyone! Hoping you all have a good day, I’m determined from today to stop letting my health get to me! I’m going to carry on with my breathing every time I get an anxious thought! I’ll repost what I was taught in case anyone wants to do it

So.. every time you get even the slightest anxious thought close your eyes and think about stuff you would rather be doing than worrying such as a holiday, reading a book, painting your nails etc and breathe in through your nose out through your mouth for 5-10 minutes after that you read a book, do some washing, watch tv and don’t allow the thoughts! If you get anxious you do it again on repeat! I’m not going to lie I got a bit slack with it, so doing it all over again!

I’ve been good today not poked anywhere once 🤞🏻 I also find if you go to the search bar on tiktok and put in health anxiety it brings up thousands of videos about it, which really helps me!

Anyone want to join me on a positivity weekend?😂

I'm in!

I'm jabbed 👀👩🏻‍⚕️🚑

Thanks @tmh88 and yes I’m in!

@Skyliner001 hope it went well!🥰

@HildegardeCrowe good! I have everything crossed for us all!

First day from doing exercise where I’ve actually believed my body aches are from exercise and not a deadly disease 😂

Five hours post vaccine and I haven't had any side-effects at all. Not even arm pain! So feeling pretty pleased at the moment, as my health anxiety would've sent me insane!

@Skyliner001

Five hours post vaccine and I haven't had any side-effects at all. Not even arm pain! So feeling pretty pleased at the moment, as my health anxiety would've sent me insane!

Five hours is a bit early for symptoms. Don't panic if you feel shivery later. It's def the vaccine.