Health Anxiety - Part 4

[polkadotpixie]

I hope no-one minds me starting a follow up thread. I know some people were waiting for me to update so I thought I would but happy to ask MNHQ to delete if one of the long term posters wanted to start it 😊

Not too bad here, I spotted two days ago, and then again yesterday, but I think my period is due soon. Hoping it comes soon 🤞🏼🤞🏼

@argueifnecessary it’s very hard to stay rational about a family history when you have health anxiety isn’t it.

I worry a lot about my family history which I think is probably the root cause of my health anxiety.

@tmh88 it’s the same with me. I’ll be doing ok and then decide to explore a particular part of my anatomy and will inevitably find something (which turns out to be a totally normal feature). Don’t beat yourself up, just try and be as productive as you can. What are your plans for today? And everyone else?

My poor bro who has a long history of severe depression/anxiety is having a MH crisis and an ambulance had been called. He lives with my mum who is 90 today. It’s not going to be a good day for her unfortunately but am going to see her tomorrow.

@HildegardeCrowe had a bit of a rough day to be honest! I’m speaking to the dr this week and wanted to go on meds for my anxiety but scared of telling them in case they don’t take my health worries seriously in the future! So sorry to hear about your brother, hope your mum had a good birthday

Thank you @tmh88. I have a wonderful GP practice, they know I have terrible HA but ALWAYS take my physical worries seriously. They’ve even had me in for face to face appointments during Covid. I think you should try to be open with them. Any good GP wants to care for their patients. I work in a GP practice too and know that the doctors I work with aren’t dismissive in the least about patients with anxiety.

I feel health anxiety or anxiety in general is used the same way hysteria was. I'm in a POTs group in Facebook and most people say it took them years to get a diagnosis because the doctors would just call it anxiety.

I'm in the same boat. The doctor actually told me, that yes, my pulse does go to 150 at random times (didn't ask what I was doing so I made sure I said it more than once that it is just me standing up) and STILL she said it was from anxiety. Funny kind of anxiety that only ever happens when I stand up and goes away when I lie back down.
I had a bad night, could feel myself shaking now and again and woke up lots of times. I must say, that shaking and tremor thing is something I have had all my life. But it has always been very rare like when I woke up suddenly from deep sleep etc but not like it is now that every time I'm in that between place of waking and sleeping I vibrate! I'm so so tired of it all and whatever I've got now, I have realised that health anxiety is a terrible chronic illness and everyone in my family is suffering because of that. I try to be really nice to my little girls but when I'm in a flair and stress about some health thing I do find I have less patience and I snap at them sometimes. I talk to my mum every day on FB chat but she suffers from a similar thing so most of the call is her moaning about her ailments.
My husband is very dismissive about my worries, his go-to thing is "then go to the doctor's I you're worried".
I feel like I want to move back to my home country to be nearer to my family and friends.

Ladies, sorry about the rant and thanks for this thread. Hope you're having a better day.

Morning @argueifnecessary, I agree that lots of people don’t think take health anxiety seriously, they think it’s just being a hypochondriac but it’s far more phobia based In my opinion. I hope you find some support soon. It must be very hard to be away from friends and family.

I think @Skyliner001 has had this concern before but I’m having a cycle of stressing about my vagina not being symmetrical, one side feels far more puffy or fatter if that makes sense, internally I mean. I do have prolapses so it’s possible that they are just not perfectly evenly distributed 🤣 I think my husband thinks I’ve cracked up. I’ve even convinced myself that a scar from childbirth and stitches isn’t a scar but a series of lumps in a perfectly straight line! As I write it all down it sounds ridiculous! 🙈

I feel like symmetry is a big deal for health anxiety sufferers!

If anyone got hold of my phone they would have a right laugh at some of my google history....’should a vagina be symmetrical’ is this mornings google!

@MrsWhites What you have described is almost exactly the same as mine inside!! Symmetry is a big concern for me!

And yet when you google should the vagina be symmetrical, you don't necessarily get the right answers!

In the course of my vagina anxiety a few weeks ago I read an interesting study from the 80s, it was harping back to another study from the early 1900s, basically about how the vagina has not been much studied in medicine, and not much is known about it.

I think that's why it's so hard to find really decent sources about it.

When you look into whether it should be symmetrical you just get a bunch of stuff about how it doesn't matter what it looks like on the outside. The outside really isn't generally a bother for women with health concerns, but it's like the vagina, like so many other things should only exist for the male gaze!

Rant over, but yes yours sounds normal, I really rummaged around up there a lot, and I'm pretty sure I made myself uncomfortable, so go easy on the rummaging!

When I was younger I found my cervix and was convinced it's a tumour because all the medical illustrations show it as flat. Or like flush with the upper wall of the vagina. Then after weeks of worrying and feeling it I finally found some pictures where it showed it the way it actually is.
But seriously, what is it with those illustrations? Or the need to show everything as symmetrical or ideal?!?
@MrsWhites
After my two vaginal births, I'm not even going to go in there. Lol. It all feels wrong and there are bits that were not there before.

Thank you @argueifnecessary and @Skyliner001. I found the same when googling it just talked about how everyone’s outside bits are different, there is very little information about the actual inside!

I think the problem is as you say argue - childbirth has not been kind to me down there. All my scar tissue is on one side (the side that is bothering me) so I think it’s probably just that. I’ve been out for a nice walk and calmed down a lot anyway. Will definitely try to leave it alone otherwise I’ll send up sore or spotting or something which will start a whole other spiral!

I hope your weekend is going well anyway x

Afternoon all

My Google was just "can hip pain present as intestinal aches". Not sure what I'm googling tbh, but am lying on the bed prodding on the inside of my right hip bone and ouch it's sore. I'm not sure if it's the hip itself, or the muscles and organs on the inside but something hurts. Gah.

Also had weird sharp pain in gallbladdery area so am now psyching myself for a full blown attack- have only had about 4 ever but they were like a heart attack (well, what I imagine a heart attack to be) but on the right hand side.

@MrsWhites, I have no history of cancer in my family at all, except possibly a great grandmother who died at 36. So I'm convinced of course it's going to be me.

@argueifnecessary, hope you get some useful info tomorrow.

@TheSilentStars I would be so embarrassed if someone got hold of my google history! Sounds like that could be muscle or ligament pain, you have lots of them in the pelvic area. Or could you be ovulating, I know pain can be one sided near the pelvic bone.

That’s a good point about family history, I would probably think the same as you if I had no family history but I think we all just fear that we will be the unlucky ones.

I don’t know about you all but I almost feel safer to assume the worst than to hope or think positively. I feel that is tempting fate!

Well ladies my period has gone absolutely crazy! It isn't due until about tomorrow but four days ago I had some very light spotting, then the following day I had a bit of blood, and assumed it was it starting, they were usually with no pain. Then the day after that I had a bit of brown spotting again, and now today I've had a bit of blood again. But still no cramps. Still feel bloated and like it's due, not sure if it might be something to do with the vaccination, but it's definitely keeping me on my toes. It would appear that you can get spotting and brown blood before your period… I've done a bit of googling.

@Skyliner001 I’d bet it’s the vaccine, I’ve just been reading the thread in the coronavirus area, it’s got pages and pages of women saying their periods have been affected - some early, some late, some just lighter than usual.

It actually puts me off having the vaccine a little because I know it will freak me out if mine change!

@Skyliner001 my period has been super strange this month, started with spotting which stopped and then came back, it was brown then more red then brown again, this lasted for a week before I came on.

I still have burning down there which is doing my head in.

@MrsWhites when I was having a look down there cos of my burning I noticed it’s not symmetrical at all. One side of the inside lip is smaller then the other. I have no idea if it’s always looked like this or if it’s since childbirth!

@MrsWhites the tempting the fate thing is one of he worst things about the HA because it literally keeps us from living our lives fully because we don't let ourselves be happy incase that's going to bring something bad on. It has completely ruined the last 10 years of my life - well, I've had better periods here and there but it has held me back so much! I have even not gone on nice holidays because of fears of flying and etc.
@Skyliner001
I think I mentioned it here before but I had a whole year once where my period was like that, sometimes I started spotting a week before already! It also corresponded with a very anxious time of my life so I think for me personally, stress always affects my hormones strongly and the other way around. I am always extra anxious when I'm late or generally in my period.

Ah ladies your amazing, thanks for sharing your stories 💜 it makes me feel less anxious about it!

*the worst things
*on my period.

Sorry about the typos!

@Skyliner001 I've been spotting and on and off my period for the last 2-3 weeks. Feeling period-y (basically eating everything in sight and mouth ulcers) but anything from brown to bright red. I think I had my vaccine around the same time as you 🙂

@argueifnecessary you are absolutely right, HA has taken so much joy from my life, I wish I could just live in the moment. It’s ironic really because we fear not being alive so much but we waste so much of the life we do have on worry. My dad had cancer a few years ago (prostrate and fully recovered) but I remember at the time he said ‘what’s the point in worrying - it just means you’d suffer twice’, he’s not known for his wise words but that one has stuck with me. I wish I could live by it but unfortunately i’ve never been able to shake the anxiety.

Morning everyone, sorry got a bit behind on the thread yesterday, hope everyone is ok today? Dr is phoning today so feeling on edge I just hope I tell her about my anxiety, I’m terrified of saying it for some reason to the gp!

If I miss the new thread being made will someone tag me in it x

@tmh88 sorry you are feeling anxious, I hope the GP doesn’t make you wait too long for the call.

Does anyone have real anxiety about talking to people on the phone too. I need to make a call today to my optician and I’ve been worrying about it since yesterday, it’s so silly but I worry about how my words will come out and what their reaction will be!

@MrsWhites Phone anxiety is horrendous! I get it daily 😂 doesn’t matter who the call is too I’ll put it off for as long as possible!

@MrsWhites to be honest I’m an anxious person all round! Simple things make me anxious.. nursery pick up with lots of parents, parking, phoning people! Unknown numbers practically make me hyperventilate 😂

Didn’t put above but I’ve been given the afternoon slot! So from 1:30 onwards 🤞🏻